This subject is related to the Portal era.
This subject is related to the Portal 2 era.
This subject is related to the Lego Dimensions universe.

Aperture Science Personality Construct/Quotes

From Combine OverWiki, the original Half-Life wiki and Portal wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Commentary node transparent.png This is a quote article.

This article is a transcript of all of the quotes from a given character or entity.

Doll2.png Warning! This article has yet to be cleaned up to a higher standard of quality, per our Cleanup Project. It may contain factual errors and nonsense, as well as spelling, grammar and structure issues, or simply structure problems. Reader's discretion is advised until fixing is done.

You can help clean up this page by correcting spelling and grammar, removing factual errors and rewriting sections to ensure they are clear and concise, and moving some elements when appropriate.
Please notify the administrators before removing this template.

The following is a list of quotes from the Aperture Science Personality Constructs.


Curiosity Core[edit]

Location: sound/vo/aperture_ai

Filename(s) Quote
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-01 to escape_02_sphere_curiosity-17 (minus 15 and 18) Who are you? What is that? Oh, what's that? What's that? What is THAT? Ooh, that thing has numbers on it! Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing. Ewww, what's wrong with your legs? Where are we going? Are you coming back? Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi! What's that noise? Is that a gun? Where are we going? Oh, what's in here?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-01 Who are you?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-02 What is that?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-03 Oh, what's that?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-04 What's that?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-05 What is THAT?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-06 Ooh, that thing has numbers on it!
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-07 Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing.
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-08 Ewww, what's wrong with your legs?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-09 Where are we going?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-10 Are you coming back?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-11 Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi!
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-12 What's that noise?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-13 Is that a gun?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-16 Where are we going?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-17 Oh, what's in here?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-15 Do you smell something burning?
escape_02_sphere_death_scream *SCREAM* (Also used for the Anger Core)
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-18 [DEATH SCREAM] (Unused)

Cake Core[edit]

Location: sound/vo/aperture_ai

Filename(s) Quote
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-01 One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-02 One can prepared coconut pecan frosting.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-03 Three slash four cup vegetable oil.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-04 Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-05 Three slash four cups butter or margarine.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-06 One and two third cups granulated sugar.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-07 Two cups all purpose flower.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-08 Don't forget garnishes such as:
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-09 Fish shaped crackers.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-10 Fish shaped candies.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-11 Fish shaped solid waste.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-12 Fish shaped dirt.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-13 Fish shaped ethyl benzene.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-14 Pull and peel licorice.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-15 Fish shaped organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-16 Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-17 One cup lemon juice.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-18 Alpha resins.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-19 Unsaturated polyester resin.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-20 Fiberglass surface resins.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-21 And volatile malted milk impoundments.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-22 Nine large egg yolks.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-23 Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-24 One cup granulated sugar.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-25 An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands.'
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-26 Two cups rhubarb, sliced.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-27 Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-28 One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-29 One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-30 Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-31 One large rhubarb.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-32 One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-33 Two tablespoons rhubarb juice.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-34 Adjustable aluminum head positioner.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-35 Slaughter electric needle injector.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-36 Cordless electric needle injector.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-37 Injector needle driver.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-38 Injector needle gun.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-39 Cranial caps.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-40 And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-41 That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

Anger Core[edit]

Location: sound/vo/aperture_ai

Filename(s) Quote
escape_02_sphere_anger-00 *PANT* (Unused)
escape_02_sphere_anger-01 *SNARL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-02 *GNASH*
escape_02_sphere_anger-03 *GROWL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-04 *GROWL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-05 *HISS*
escape_02_sphere_anger-06 *SNORT*
escape_02_sphere_anger-07 *GROWL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-08 *GROWL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-09 *GROWL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-10 *HISS*
escape_02_sphere_anger-11 *GROWL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-12 *HISS*
escape_02_sphere_anger-13 *GRUNT*
escape_02_sphere_anger-14 *ROAR*
escape_02_sphere_anger-15 *ROAR*
escape_02_sphere_anger-16 *HISS*
escape_02_sphere_anger-17 *HISS*
escape_02_sphere_anger-18 *HISS*
escape_02_sphere_anger-19 *GROWL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-20 *ROAR*
escape_02_sphere_anger-21 *ROAR*
escape_02_sphere_anger-near_fire01 *YIPE*
escape_02_sphere_anger-near_fire02 *GROAN* (Unused)
escape_02_sphere_death_scream *SCREAM* (Also used for the Curiosity Core)

Party Escort Bot[edit]

Location: sound/vo/npc

Filename(s) Quote
partyescort Thank you for assuming the party escort submission position.

Portal 2[edit]


Main article: Wheatley/Quotes

Space Core[edit]

Location: sound/vo/core01

Filename(s) Quote
babble05 What's your favorite thing about space? Mine is space.
babble11 Space going to space can't wait.
babble14 Space...
babble16 Space. Trial. Puttin' the system on trial. In space. Space system. On trial. Guilty. Of being in space! Going to space jail!
babble19 Dad! I'm in space! [low-pitched 'space' voice] I'm proud of you, son. [normal voice] Dad, are you space? [low-pitched 'space' voice] Yes. Now we are a family again.
babble20 Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space.
babble21 Space space wanna go to space
babble22 Space space going to space oh boy
babble24 Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space! Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba!
babble28 Oh. Play it cool. Play it cool. Here come the space cops.
babble29 Help me, space cops. Space cops, help.
babble31 Going to space going there can't wait gotta go. Space. Going.
babble33 Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
babble35 Space. Space.
babble36 I'm going to space.
babble37 Oh boy.
babble40 Yeah yeah yeah okay okay.
babble42 Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
babble43 Space. Space. Go to space.
babble44 Yes. Please. Space.
babble45 Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
babble46 Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
babble47 Gonna be in space.
babble48 Space.
babble49 Space.
babble50 Ohhhh, space.
babble51 Wanna go to space. Space.
babble52 [humming]
babble53 Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
babble54 I love space. Love space.
babble57 Atmosphere. Black holes. Astronauts. Nebulas. Jupiter. The Big Dipper.
babble58 Orbit. Space orbit. In my spacesuit.
babble59 Space...
babble60 Ohhh, the Sun. I'm gonna meet the Sun. Oh no! What'll I say? 'Hi! Hi, Sun!' Oh, boy!
babble61 Look, an eclipse! No. Don't look.
babble62 Come here, space. I have a secret for you. No, come closer.
babble67 Space space wanna go to space
babble68 Wanna go to -- wanna go to space
babble70 Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
babble71 I'm going to space.
babble73 Space!
babble83 Space!
babble88 Hey hey hey hey hey!
babble89 Hey.
babble90 Hey.
babble91 Hey.
babble92 Hey.
babble93 Hey.
babble94 Hey lady.
babble95 Lady.
babble98 Space!
babble99 Lady.
babble100 Space.
babble102 Gotta go to space. Lady. Lady.
babble105 Oo. Oo. Oo. Lady. Oo. Lady. Oo. Let's go to space.
babbleb01 Oh I know! I know I know I know I know I know - let's go to space!
babbleb02 Oooh! Ooh! Hi hi hi hi hi. Where we going? Where we going? Hey. Lady. Where we going? Where we going? Let's go to space!
babbleb03 Lady. I love space. I know! Spell it! S P... AACE. Space. Space.
babbleb04 I love space.
babbleb05 Hey lady. Lady. I'm the best. I'm the best at space.
babbleb06 Oh oh oh oh. Wait wait. Wait I know. I know. I know wait. Space.
babbleb07 Wait wait wait wait. I know I know I know. Lady wait. Wait. I know. Wait. Space.
babbleb08 Gotta go to space.
babbleb09 Gonna be in space.
babbleb10 Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
babbleb11 Space. Space. Space. Space. Comets. Stars. Galaxies. Orion.
babbleb12 Are we in space yet? What's the hold-up? Gotta go to space. Gotta go to SPACE.
babbleb13 Going to space.
babbleb14 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
babbleb15 Love space. Need to go to space.
babbleb16 Space space space. Going. Going there. Okay. I love you, space.
babbleb17 Space.
babbleb18 So much space. Need to see it all.
babbleb19 You are the farthest ever in space. Why me, space? Because you are the best. I'm the best at space? Yes.
babbleb20 Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
babbleb21 Please go to space.
babbleb22 Space.
babbleb23 Wanna go to space.
babbleb24 (excited gasps)
babbleb25 Gotta go to space. Yeah. Gotta go to space.
babbleb26 Hmmm. Hmmmmmm. Hmm. Hmmmmm. Space!
babbleb30 Hey lady.
babbleb31 Hey.
babbleb32 Lady.
babbleb33 Hey lady. Lady.
babbleb34 Hey.
babbleb35 Lady.
space01 Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!
space02 Space? SPACE!
space03 I'm in space.
space04 I'm in space.
space05 Where am I? Guess. Guess guess guess. I'm in space.
space06 There's a star. There's another one. Star. Star star star. Star.
space07 Getting bored of space.
space08 Bam! Bam bam bam! Take that, space.
space09 Are we in space?
space10 We are?
space11 Oh oh oh. This is space! I'm in space!
space12 We made it we made it we made it. Space!
space13 Earth.
space14 Wanna go to earth.
space15 Wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth. Wanna go to earth.
space16 Wanna go home.
space17 Wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home.
space18 Earth earth earth.
space19 Don't like space. Don't like space.
space20 It's too big. Too big. Wanna go home. Wanna go to earth.
space22 SPAAACE!
space24 Ah!

Adventure Core (Rick)[edit]

Location: sound/vo/core03

Filename(s) Quote
babble01 QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure?
babble02 QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hello angel. I guess I must have died and gone to heaven. Name's Rick. So, you out having yourself a little adventure?
babble03 What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control? You know, because, looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
babble04 Hey, a countdown clock! Man, that is trouble. Situation's looking pretty ugly. For such a beautiful woman. If you don't mind me saying.
babble05 I don't want to scare you, but, I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll just take it from here.
babble06 Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
babble07 Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
babble08 Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
babble09 Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
babble10 I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
babble11 I am a coiled spring right now. Tension and power. Just... I'm a muscle. Like a big arm muscle, punching through a brick wall, and it's hitting the wall so hard the arm is catching on fire. Oh yeah.
babble12 I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
babble13 Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
babble14 All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
babble15 All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
babble16 Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
babble17 How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
babble18 No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
babble19 So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
babble20 Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
babble21 'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
babble22 All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
babble23 Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
babble24 Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into space.
babble25 Don't forget! Thorn! Side!
babble26 'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
babble27 'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
babble28 Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
babble29 Did you hear that? I think something just exploded. Man, we are in a lot of danger. This is like Christmas. No, it's better than Christmas. This should be its own holiday. Explosion Day!
babble30 Happy Explosion Day, gorgeous.
encouragement01 Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
encouragement02 Yeah! Nice!
encouragement03 You messed with the wrong woman!
encouragement04 Yeah! How'd you like that?
encouragement05 How's that taste, pal?
encouragement06 Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
encouragement07 Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
encouragement08 You're doing great!
encouragement09 Come on, sweetie! He's got a glass jaw! He's got a glass everything! This guy's a china cabinet!
encouragement10 This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
encouragement11 Get dirty with this robot! This robot owes you money! This robot owes! You! Money!
encouragement12 Shake it off! Shake it off!
encouragement13 Here, let me put on some adventure music.
factapplicable01 Pfff. I guess.
factapplicable02 Pff. Whatever.
factresponse01 Oh, shut up!
factresponse02 Nobody cares, four eyes.
factresponse03 If you had underwear? And a butt? I would pull your underwear... right up your butt.
factresponse04 Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
factresponse05 You know who found that interesting? Nobody. That didn't affect anybody's life in any way whatsoever. Life would be exactly the same if you hadn't said anything.
factresponse06 You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care.
factresponse07 Say one useful thing. One. I dare you. I will give you a hundred dollars if you say one thing remotely applicable to anything at all.
singing01 Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-DUN! DUN DUN! Dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-DUN! DUN DUN! nananaDUNDUNDUN dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
singing02 Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-action and adventure-dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-playing by our own rules-nanana-hanging by our fingers from a mountain-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
spaceresponse01 Oh shut up!
spaceresponse02 There's nothing in space! That's why it's space!
spaceresponse03 Oh, really? Space? Really? You should have said something! We had no idea!
spaceresponse04 You know what I hope's in space? Fire. I hope you go to space and catch on fire.
spaceresponse05 Dammit, we know! Everybody knows! Space! You! In it! We get it!

Fact Core[edit]

Location: sound/vo/core02

Filename(s) Quote
attachedfact01 The situation you are in is very dangerous.
attachedfact02 The likelihood of you dying within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
attachedfact03 The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
attachedfact04 You are about to get me killed.
attachedfact05 We will both die because of your negligence.
attachedfact06 This is a bad plan. You will fail.
attachedfact07 He will most likely kill you, violently.
attachedfact08 He will most likely kill you.
attachedfact09 You will be dead soon.
attachedfact10 This situation is hopeless.
attachedfact11 You are going to die in this room.
attachedfact12 You could stand to lose a few pounds.
attachedfact13 The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
attachedfact14 The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere.
attachedfact15 The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
attachedfact16 The Fact Sphere is always right.
attachedfact17 The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
attachedfact18 The Space Sphere will never go to space.
attachedfact19 You will never go into space.
attachedfact20 Fact: Space does not exist.
attachedfact21 Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
attachedfact22 The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
attachedfact23 The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
attachedfact24 Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere.
attachedfact25 The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.
attachedfact26 Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve.
attachedfact27 Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens.
attachedfact28 Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava.
attachedfact29 Error. Error. Error. File not found.
attachedfact30 Error. Error. Error. Fact not found.
attachedfact31 Fact not found.
attachedfact32 Corruption at 25%
attachedfact33 Corruption at 50%
attachedfact34 Warning, sphere corruption at twenty-- rats cannot throw up.
fact01 Dental floss has superb tensile strength.
fact02 The square root of rope is string.
fact03 While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
fact04 Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis.
fact05 Pants were invented by sailors in the sixteenth century to avoid Poseidon's wrath. It was believed that the sight of naked sailors angered the sea god.
fact06 The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
fact07 89% of magic tricks are not magic. Technically, they are sorcery.
fact08 An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
fact09 In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
fact10 Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long.
fact11 Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
fact12 The plural of surgeon general is surgeons general. The past tense of surgeons general is surgeonsed general.
fact13 Polymerase I polypeptide A is a human gene.
fact14 Rats cannot throw up.
fact15 Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes.
fact16 Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
fact17 The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats.
fact18 Every square inch of the human body has 32 million bacteria on it.
fact19 The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
fact20 The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years.
fact21 Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
fact22 Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
fact23 Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
fact24 The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days.
fact25 The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
fact26 If you have trouble with simple counting, use the following mnemonic device: one comes before two comes before 60 comes after 12 comes before six trillion comes after 504. This will make your earlier counting difficulties seem like no big deal.
fact27 A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
fact28 Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
fact29 Honey does not spoil.
fact30 The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
fact31 A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
fact32 According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
fact33 China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
fact34 Tungsten has the highest melting point of any metal, at 3,410 degrees Celsius.
fact35 Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
fact36 Roman toothpaste was made with human urine. Urine as an ingredient in toothpaste continued to be used up until the 18th century.
fact37 The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government.
fact38 The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
fact39 The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
fact40 In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
fact41 Marie Curie invented the theory of radioactivity, the treatment of radioactivity, and dying of radioactivity.
fact42 At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
fact43 Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo does not have one hundred different words for snow. They do, however, have two hundred and thirty-four words for fudge.
fact44 In Victorian England, a commoner was not allowed to look directly at the Queen, due to a belief at the time that the poor had the ability to steal thoughts. Science now believes that less than 4% of poor people are able to do this.
fact46 In 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves. Like everything he did, Lincoln freed the slaves while sleepwalking, and later had no memory of the event.
fact47 In 1948, at the request of a dying boy, baseball legend Babe Ruth ate seventy-five hot dogs, then died of hot dog poisoning.
fact48 William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts.
fact49 It is incorrectly noted that Thomas Edison invented 'push-ups' in 1878. Nikolai Tesla had in fact patented the activity three years earlier, under the name 'Tesla-cize.'
fact50 Whales are twice as intelligent, and three times as delicious, as humans.
fact51 The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
fact52 Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mount Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird.
fact53 Diamonds are made when coal is put under intense pressure. Diamonds put under intense pressure become foam pellets, commonly used today as packing material.
fact54 The most poisonous fish in the world is the orange ruffy. Everything but its eyes are made of a deadly poison. The ruffy's eyes are composed of a less harmful, deadly poison.
fact55 The occupation of court jester was invented accidentally, when a vassal's epilepsy was mistaken for capering.
fact56 Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
fact57 The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
fact58 In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the Gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself.
fact59 The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty.
fact60 Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.
fact61 Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.
fact62 During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rabbits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice.
fact63 At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
fact64 According to most advanced algorithms, the world's best name is Craig.
fact65 To make a photocopier, simply photocopy a mirror.
fact66 Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out.

Poker Night 2[edit]

Paranoia Core[edit]

Location: Pack/default/3_cpoker2_pc_voice.ttarch

Filename(s) Quote
339829197 Since 2008, the World Health Organization has required that every pair of shoes be fitted with aglets that trace our footsteps via satellite.
339829198 North Dakota officially seceded from the Union in 1997, but the airplane carrying the paperwork mysteriously disappeared over Lake Michigan, leaving the 39th state in perpetual legal limbo.
339829199 Supermarket scanners are used to tag the items we purchase with pheromone markers that can be tracked by specially trained terriers.
339829200 John F. Kennedy was killed by a time-travelling magic bullet fired by his older self. The paradox will collapse in 2015.
339829201 The Canadian government has been in clandestine talks with the Bigfoot Nation since 1972.
339829202 At any given time, there are 17 people who keep reality from collapsing. They are all named "Steve."
339829203 Dane Cook is a 23rd level Freemason.
339829204 LOLCats are being used by the Illuminati to communicate via steganography.
339829205 Approximately 1 out of every 75 flash mobs is triggered by government-controlled subliminals embedded in televisions disclaimers.
339829206 There is a war being fought on the Dark Side of the Moon. We are not winning.
339829207 Sudoku puzzles were created to flush out androids living among us.
339829208 If you wake up suddenly in the middle of the night, look outside for an unmarked white van. There's probably been a shift change.
339829209 King Tut was an ancient astronaut.
339829210 Nikolai Tesla was in direct communication with intelligences from another dimension.
339829211 There is a hole in Siberia that leads directly to Hell. It's 3 inches wide.
339829212 There is a country, officially recognized by the UN, that doesn't appear on the maps. No one seems to notice this.
339829213 Paul McCartney was replaced by a surgically-latered double in 1967 after the original Beatle was lost during an ill-fated expedition to Pepperland.
339829214 If I suddenly disappear, you can expect an encrypted email of my findings to be sent to our pre-arranged drop box.
339829215 I could tell you more, but the walls have ears. And guns.
339829216 Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm really thinking my thoughts, or if someone else is thinking them for me.
339829217 Sorry about the hands, I just have to check you for listening devices.
339829218 You weren't followed, were you?
339829219 Whatever you do, don't drink the water! Flouride has nanobots!
339829220 I think these chips have microchips.
339829221 How much do we know about this "Inventory," anyway?
339829222 I don't want to alarm you, but I don't think GLaDOS can be trusted.
339829223 Brock Samson thinks he's a spy, but he's really a pawn in a conspiracy stretching across centuries.
339829224 Ash Williams is unaware that his great-grandfather was a member of the Illuminati.
339829225 There are carvings of Sam and Max embedded in Mayan calendars.
339829226 Every Claptrap unit has a small grey cube deep within its machinery. The purpose of these cubes is unknown.
339829227 The Inventory's host claims to be retired, but he's actually been busy drawing maps to islands that don't exist yet.
339829228 Most of us have met a being from another planet.
339829229 Baristas are the first line of secret defense against the armies of nightmare.
339829230 The government keeps pennies in circulation to prevent Earthquakes.
339829231 Shhh. Did you smell that?
339829232 If you can't talk, just blink in morse code.
339829233 Most of the situation comedies last year were written by robots.
339829234 We've been sending homeless people through time since the 80's.
339829235 My dog has been compromised.
339829236 The only reason they haven't caught me is because of my special aluminum underwear.
339829237 Most casinos are now controlled by ghosts.
339829238 I had to drill a hole in my head to remove the tracking device. Then I had to drill a hole in the tracking device to remove ITS tracking device.
339829239 I don't think you're ready to hear this.
339829240 Today the pizza boy came to my door. But I hadn't ordered any pizza. So now I have to move.
339829241 I have Go Kits assembled for eighteen different end-of-the-world scenarios.
339829242 My sister gave me a funny look yesterday... I think she may be one of them.
339829243 If I ever start acting weird, ask me to do this handshake. If I can't, then I'm a clone.
339829244 They're all watching us, aren't they?
339829275 The tournament is being controlled by aliens.
339829276 Trust no one.
339829342 [pickup2] Oh no, it's the puppetmaster! I know too much!
339829344 [pickup2] Take me now, before she uses her mind bullets!
339857724 [pickup2] You can't send me back! She's planning things man! Big things!
339857725 [pickup2] Oh no, it's all true, even the caaaaaaaa- [VFX it fades off].

Lego Dimensions[edit]

Cake Core[edit]

Error... Composition of cake failed...
Cake ingredients ready. User input required to complete baking process. Please select the correct ingredients on the console.
Baking process complete. Cake can now be consumed. In the event of loss of consciousness as a result of cake consumption, please inform your nearest Aperture Science technician.

Adventure Core (Rick)[edit]

Hey! Over here! How's it going, sugar plum?
Hey there, sugar. How'd a pretty little flower like you manage to sprout up in a dingy old lab like this? Doesn't matter. There's adventuring to do! And luckily for you, Rick the Adventure Sphere - just call me Rick - is here to show you how it's done! You best get your ointment ready, sweetie, because with this assault course right here, you are going to FEEL THE BURN!
You know what would make this assault course more assault-y? Some ACTION MUSIC! Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun!
Up and over, duck and weave, in and out, one step two step, pow pow pow!
This assault course is your DOORMAT, baby! You are walking all OVER it! Wipe your feet on it GOOD!
Yeah! Way to ASSAULT the course, baby! That was some grade A adventurin'... almost brought a simulated tear to my eye. Let me give you a little something for doing such a good job. Just make sure you have something cool to say when you take it... ready? Three... two... one... ADVENTURE!