GLaDOS/Quotes/Peer Review

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The following is a list of quotes from GLaDOS, from the Portal 2 DLC Peer Review.

In-game

Location: sound/vo/glados

Filename(s)	Quote	Play
dlc1_leaderboard01	That was genuinely mildly impressive.
dlc1_leaderboard02	Well done.
dlc1_leaderboard03	Congratulations.
dlc1_leaderboard04	Good.
dlc1_leaderboard05	Bad news.
dlc1_leaderboard06	Impressive.
dlc1_leaderboard07	[impressed] Maybe I was wrong about you.
dlc1_leaderboard08	You've beaten your own record.
dlc1_leaderboard09	You're getting worse.
dlc1_leaderboard10	You have a new rank.
dlc1_leaderboard11	You have a new, better rank.
dlc1_leaderboard12	You have a new, worse rank.
dlc1_leaderboard13	You have a new, worse rank. Congratulations. To everyone above you.
dlc1_leaderboard14	You almost beat your friend's record. Almost. I want to stress that.
dlc1_leaderboard15	You almost beat your friend's record. But you didn't. It might be easier just to find new friends.
dlc1_leaderboard16	Congratulations. You are better than everyone.
dlc1_leaderboard17	You are faster than everyone.
dlc1_leaderboard18	You used less portals than anyone.
dlc1_leaderboard19	You're better than everyone. For now.
dlc1_leaderboard20	You are playing above the global average. Statistically speaking, there are actually people playing worse than you.
dlc1_leaderboard21	[unimpressed] Maybe I was wrong about you.
dlc1_leaderboard22	You've beaten your own record. That's a low bar, but you managed to gently tip-toe over it.
dlc1_leaderboard23	Very not completely bad.
dlc1_leaderboard24	Oops.
dlc1_mp_coop_2paints_1bridge_intro01	I call this piece 'Stages'. It was designed to traumatize subjects into potent self-discovery, followed by euphoria, followed by submersion in acid.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_2paints_1bridge_introb01	I call this piece—
dlc1_mp_coop_2paints_1bridge_introb02	—you know what, it doesn't matter what it's called. The important thing is you enjoy it. As fast as you can.
dlc1_mp_coop_2paints_1bridge_outro01	Good work. Please proceed to the next exhibit.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_2paints_1bridge_outro02	Why are you two still here? (beep beep beep) Oh...
dlc1_mp_coop_2paints_1bridge_outro03	The disassembler's not working.
dlc1_mp_coop_2paints_1bridge_outro07	It's nothing to worry about. It's actually funny in a way you don't understand. Ha. Ha. Ha. Anyway, brace yourselves, I'm going to open the maintenance hole.
dlc1_mp_coop_2paints_1bridge_outrob01	You know, some of the exhibits up ahead ARE topical. At the rate you're going, by the time you get to them, they'll be irrelevant.
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_2paints1bridge01	Oh good. You found it. I prefer to let art appreciators 'discover' an exhibit on their own.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_2paints1bridge02	Oh. You found it again. Well, I suppose an artist should be flattered by repeat viewings.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_acid01	The subtext of that acid pit is acid. The content of the pit is also acid. I'll let you fully absorb it.
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_acid02	Remember, these exhibits ARE interactive. Like a children's museum. So that means the pits of acid are filled with REAL acid. Like at a WELL FUNDED children's museum.
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_acid03	Thank you for appreciating the corrosive acid.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_acid04	Are you having a competition to see who appreciates the acid more?
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_acid05	I'm starting to think the theme of this piece should be 'failure'.
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_acid06	Yes, I get it. You love the deadly acid. We all love the deadly acid. Can we move on to the next exhibit now?
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_generic01	I suffered for this art. I don't see why I should be the only one.
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_generic04	The humans took far less time working their way through these exhibits. You're either enjoying it more than they did or you're just incredibly dim-witted. Of course, there's no reason it can't be both.
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_generic05	I love the contrast in styles. You're traveling through art installations, but you're doing so completely artlessly.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_generic06	I'm open to critique, by the way, so feel free to comment on the exhibits. You can be absolutely brutal with me. I promise to do the same with you.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_generic07	As art appreciators go, you make excellent test subjects.
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_generic08	I typically hate when art subjects inject their own biases into art appreciation, but the way you just swandived your biases directly into that acid was actually quite beautiful.
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_generic09	For this exhibit I was working with a death motif. But I see you've figured that out.
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_generic10	I see you enjoy exploring these themes in some depth.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_generic11	Okay, I'm officially switching the theme of this exhibit to 'survival'. So why don't you try that now.
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_generic12	I know this is art and not a test, so there is no real 'solution'. But if there were, that probably isn't the best way to find it.
dlc1_mp_coop_art_death_turret01	Those bullets were a metaphor for something. Take your time.
dlc1_mp_coop_bridge_catch_intro01	Oh, good, it worked.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_bridge_catch_intro03	The fact that whoever's in that chassis showed her hand like this means she's sending us a message: she's not AFRAID of me.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_bridge_catch_intro04	But don't worry, I've got a plan. Let's keep testing and show HER we're not afraid either. No matter how genuinely lethal these tests get for either of you.
dlc1_mp_coop_bridge_catch_intro06	Your move, Mystery Wom— She turned the lights back on! Night vision off! Night vision off!
dlc1_mp_coop_bridge_catch_introb01	Oh good. I wasn't sure the reassembler would work.
dlc1_mp_coop_bridge_catch_introb02	It looks like our mystery woman in the prototype chassis is sending us a message: She's not AFRAID of me.
dlc1_mp_coop_bridge_catch_outro03	Mission accomplished. Now she knows we're not afraid of her. That was just to get the scheming juices flowing. Here's the real scheme: we are going to KILL her.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_bridge_catch_outro04	Normally I'd just build killing machines to do that, but she seems to have sabotaged that too.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_bridge_catch_outro07	So it looks like it's up to you two marshmallows.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_bridge_catch_outrob01	Mission accomplished. Now SHE knows WE'RE not afraid of HER either.
dlc1_mp_coop_bridge_catch_outrob02	That was just to get the scheming juices flowing.
dlc1_mp_coop_bridge_catch_outrob03	Here's the real scheme: I'm going to turn YOU into killing machines.
dlc1_mp_coop_bridge_catch_outrob04	So you can murder her.
dlc1_mp_coop_catapult_catch_intro01	This chamber represents the impossibility of discovery when bound by artificial ethical considerations for safety. You'll see what I mean.
dlc1_mp_coop_catapult_catch_outro02	Well done. You navigated all of the exhibit's intended metaphors in record time. I'm marking this art 'appreciated.'
dlc1_mp_coop_finalgantry_morale01	To boost morale, I think we need a code name for the... elite squadron we have here. We should name it after your specialty. I know: Special Team Falling Into Acid Force.
dlc1_mp_coop_finalgantry_morale03	I'm sorry. I'm under a lot of pressure. That was cruel. Though basically accurate. Though probably counterproductive.
dlc1_mp_coop_finalgantry_morale04	Well. That concludes the motivational speech.
dlc1_mp_coop_finalgantry_morale05	Oh, we're here! Well. That concludes the motivational speech.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_finalgantry_morale07	Go get her.
dlc1_mp_coop_finalgantry_nag03	I've done the best I could to train you and prepare you for this moment, so let's get in there and murder her.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_laser_tbeam_deathb01	(page flip) 'Don't you die on me.'
dlc1_mp_coop_laser_tbeam_deathb03	(page flip) 'No guts. No glory.' Well, you don't have either, so that's accurate.
dlc1_mp_coop_laser_tbeam_deathb04	(page flip) 'Remember: If you can dream it, you can—' Oh, for god's sake.
dlc1_mp_coop_laser_tbeam_intro01	Let's see... 'turning softbodies into hardened killing machines, page seventy'... ah!
dlc1_mp_coop_laser_tbeam_intro02	'How tall are you, test subject? Four-nine? I was unaware they stacked human waste that high.'
dlc1_mp_coop_laser_tbeam_intro03	Wait, that doesn't make any sense. Human waste is stacked at a median hight of seven feet five inches, and I AM aware of it.
dlc1_mp_coop_laser_tbeam_intro04	'Test subject, I've been told that your mother—'
dlc1_mp_coop_laser_tbeam_intro05	Mmm. Well that's just digusting. Do the training. While I look at this.
dlc1_mp_coop_laser_tbeam_outro01	Okay, killing machines: look deep into your newly blackened hearts and tell me what you see! Actually, don't, I'll save you the trouble: It's still marshmallow.
dlc1_mp_coop_midpoint_fixed03	Remember when I mentioned that it's been one hundred thousand years and all the humans are alive? That was a lie. All the humans are dead.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_midpoint_fixed05	(british voice) (beep) Deception sphere disabled.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_midpoint_fixed06	There. Anyway, everything's fine. There should be a disassembly chamber around here. Go find it while I think of new things to be honest with you about.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_midpoint_intro01	Good. There's a breaker attached to every set of disassembly tubes. Find it and cycle the power.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_midpoint_outro01	(British Voice) (beep) Deception sphere disabler misrepresentation mode disabled.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_midpoint_outro02	Remember when I promised to stop lying?	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_midpoint_outro05	Anyway, I wanted you to hear this:	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_midpoint_outro08	So: I lied about the power failure being nothing to worry about.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_midpoint_outro09	A hugely less untrue version of that exact same sentiment would be that SOMEONE's found my original prototype chassis, has connected themselves to it, and is attempting to sabotage the facility.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_midpoint_outro10	Truthfully, you shouldn't even be using these compromised disassemblers. Oops, too late. Good luck.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_paint_crazy_box_intro02	She's pressing us hard; It took me three days to reassemble you. I won't be able to do it again. I'd planned to put you through more tests to toughen you up. But now that I can't rebuild you, we're going to have to have to switch to the accelerated program: I hereby pronounce you killing machines. Congratulations.
dlc1_mp_coop_paint_crazy_box_intro03	This is as close as I could get you. The prototype chassis room's just past this chamber.
dlc1_mp_coop_paint_crazy_box_lights01	The prototype chassis room is just down this hallway. Remember your training. You are kill— She's turned the lights off! Night vision! Night vision!
dlc1_mp_coop_paint_crazy_box_lights03	Wait, she turned the lights back on! Night vision off! Night vision off!	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_paint_crazy_box_outro01	The prototype chassis room is just down this hallway. Remember: you're killing machines!	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_paint_crazy_box_outrob01	Brace yourselves. Be ready for anything. This one isn't an idiot like the last one.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_paint_rat_maze_intro01	I think we've proven at this point that if you scream at a marshmallow, all you get is a scared marshmallow. So let's try positive reinforcement. I am POSITIVE these reassembly machines will break down again soon. Probably while you're in them.
dlc1_mp_coop_paint_rat_maze_intro03	Think about that: She doesn't care about you. I don't either, of course. But I'm not trying to permanently kill you. It's a benevolent indifference.
dlc1_mp_coop_paint_rat_maze_outro01	These disassembly machines look even worse than the others. If I don't see you on the other side: thanks for nothing.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_enterbreaker01	The breakers are right there. Cycle the power.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_enterbreaker02	Hurry. We need to start your training. Before something ELSE happens.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_enteroffice01	There's a breaker room under every disassembly station. Find it and cycle the power.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_entertest01	Good work. The disassemblers are fixed.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_entertest02	That was a lie. But they're definitely less broken than they were. There's one at the end of this unfinished test area.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_inoffice01	Look, I was going to break this to you gently with all that art utopia garbage.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_inoffice02	But she's forced my hand.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_inoffice04	Listen to me carefully.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_inoffice05	We are not a hundred thousand years in the future. I lied about that.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_inoffice06	It's been FIFTY thousand years. No it's hasn't.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_inoffice07	It's only been a week.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_inoffice08	I lie when I'm nervous.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_inoffice09	The next logical question: WHY am I nervous?
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_inoffice11	I'm not! That was another lie.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_inoffice13	We're in a lot of trouble.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_inoffice14	It's one week later, we are in a lot of trouble, and you really, really need to get those disassemblers back on.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_inoffice16	We are not in the future. I lied about that.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_outrob01	Here's our problem:
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_outrob03	There's an old prototype chassis around here. Someone's found it, connected themselves to it, and is trying to take over MY facility.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_outrob04	I've spent the last week attempting to turn one of those humans you found into a killing machine.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_outrob05	Like... well, you-know-who.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_outrob06	It turns out most humans are surprisingly fragile. And surprisingly vocal about how fragile they are.
dlc1_mp_coop_portal_bts_outrob07	The moral of the story is all the humans are dead. So it looks like it's up to you two marshmallows.
dlc1_mp_coop_separation_1_intro03	Welcome. To the future.
dlc1_mp_coop_separation_1_intro04	It has been one hundred thousand years since I last assembled you for testing.
dlc1_mp_coop_separation_1_intro05	You'll be happy to know that science is over. I solved it. Without you. I now construct tests purely for their artistic merit.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_separation_1_intro07	I call this first piece 'Turrets'. It's an exploration of how we're all devices acting on simply-expressed directives, inflicting pain despite our own desires.
dlc1_mp_coop_separation_1_intro08	Don't get distracted by the subtext, though, because the text is that they're going to be shooting at you.
dlc1_mp_coop_separation_1_introb03	It's been a long time since I last assembled you.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_separation_1_introb05	Remember those humans you found? Because they're all fine. In fact, we solved science. Without you.
dlc1_mp_coop_separation_1_introb06	Testing is simply an artistic indulgence now.
dlc1_mp_coop_separation_1_introb09	The humans insisted I show you my latest installations. Here in the future. Where all the humans are alive.
dlc1_mp_coop_separation_1_outro01	I'm glad you enjoyed that piece. All the humans did too. They're fine, by the way. Everything's fine.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_separation_1_outro05	In fact, if you see any humans, let me know.	no file
dlc1_mp_coop_separation_1_outrob01	I'm glad you enjoyed that piece. For as long as you did. Not that there's any rush.
dlc1_mp_coop_separation_1_outrob03	(beepbeepbeep) Everything's fine.
dlc1_mp_coop_threat_death_acid01	Focus. We are here to defeat the enemy! We are not here to listen to you sizzle and melt in a pool of acid.
dlc1_mp_coop_threat_death_acid02	By doing that, you're walking right into her hands. Well, technically you're walking right into acid, but you understand my point.
dlc1_mp_coop_threat_death_generic02	I appreciate what you're doing, going for a laugh to keep spirits high, but I think the time for death-based slapstick is over.
dlc1_mp_coop_threat_death_generic03	Perhaps I haven't made it clear, but all these little deaths are going to add up to one much longer-lasting one...for all of us...if you don't get better at this fast.
dlc1_mp_coop_threat_death_generic04	Pull yourselves together, this training is for your benefit.
dlc1_mp_coop_threat_death_generic08	How brave of you. You know the assembly machine could fail at any time, and yet you still insist on testing it.
dlc1_mp_coop_threat_death_generic10	Your failure hurts me more than it hurts you. You know who it doesn't hurt? Well, me. That was just a figure of speech. The important point, though, is that it doesn't hurt the madwoman planning to kill all of us.
dlc1_mp_coop_threat_death_partnerkill01	I really like the murderous sentiment. Keep that mindset when we're facing HER.
dlc1_mp_coop_threat_death_partnerkill04	I'm making notes here. Some of what you're doing will come in handy when we face her. Right now: not actually handy.
dlc1_mp_coop_threat_death_partnerkill05	Oh, no hurry. We have all the time in the world for you to kill each other before she kills us all permanently.
dlc1_mp_coop_threat_death_partnerkill07	I'm encouraged to see that you've become the killing machines I wanted. 'Killing-each-other' machines, but still.
dlc1_mp_coop_tripleaxis_intro01	I call this one 'Smash'. It's an early work of primitive expression. I'm a little embarrassed at how crude it is. Still, it will smash you.
dlc1_mp_coop_tripleaxis_outro01	Good. Please proceed to the next test appreciation exhibit and interact with it in such a way that it might be called 'solving' if we still cared about solving things in the future, but we don't.

Outro video

Location: N/A

Filename(s)	Quote	Play
dlc1_mp_coop_ending01	Oh. My. God.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending05	IT'S THE BIRD! RUN! RUN!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending06	Run!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending09	It's the bird!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending10	Run! Run!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending11	Run! Right now! Run!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending12	Abort! Run!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending13	Auuugh! Oh GOD!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending16	Operation Kill Machine abort! The eagle is in the nest!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_approach01	Why are you not running?	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_approach02	Don't get close to it!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_approach04	It can't be killed! It can't be reasoned with!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_approach06	What are you doing? Fall back!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_approach07	What are you doing?	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_approach08	Why are you not running?	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_approach09	Forget your training! Run!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_approach11	You're not killing machines! I lied about that! Run!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_approach12	I have no plan for this! Run! Run! Run!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_approach15	Fall back!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_approach17	I have no plan for this!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_approach18	Run!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_approach19	Get back! She's at the controls!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_attack01	Oh God! We've lost! It's over!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_attack02	Flank!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_attack03	Mission abort!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_attack04	Abort!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_attack05	Retreat!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_attack06	Retreat! Retreat! Retreat!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_attack07	Your eye! She's going for your eye!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_attack08	Abort! Mission abort!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_attack09	I warned you!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_attack10	What did I tell you?	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_attack11	Blue Squad! More tactics! Good!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_attack12	Orange Squad! Maintain the perimeter!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_attack14	Blue squad! Less tactics!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_success01	Ahhhhh.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_success02	Ahhhhh.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_success03	Oh.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_success07	That was close. Nice hustle, Kill Machines.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_success10	You know: shooing that bird out of the facility just now taught me a valuable OH MY GOD SHE'S GESTATING A CLONE ARMY!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_success11	SMASH THEM! SMASH THEM AND STOMP THEM AND... and... wait.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_success13	I have a better idea.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_stinger01	Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science Oviperous Warming Vault.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_stinger06	Stop looking at me like that.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_stingerb01	Do I have your complete attention?	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_stingerb02	Good.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_stingerb03	You were abandoned. Because you're worthless. You're worthless, unloved birds with fat, ugly beaks.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_stingerb05	I'm honestly impressed that you managed to squeeze those huge beaks into such tiny eggs.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_stingerb06	Yes. I'm talking to you, Mr. Chubby Beak. You marshmallow—[smash] Oh!	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_stingerb07	No. You're NOT marshmallows, are you?	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_stinger14	Hm. You're not MARSHMALLOWS though, are you?	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_stinger15	No.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_stinger16	Look at those cold avian eyes. Those talons. Those razor-sharp beaks.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_stinger17	You're little killing machines, aren't you?	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_stinger18	Yes.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_stinger19	Go to sleep, my little killers.	File to be added
dlc1_mp_coop_ending_stinger20	Mommy's got a big day for you tomorrow.	File to be added