GLaDOS/Quotes/Portal 2 multiplayer

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The following is a list of quotes from GLaDOS, from Portal 2, multiplayer part.

Location: sound/vo/glados

Filename(s)	Quote
anti_taunt01	Stop it!
anti_taunt02	What if you froze like that?
anti_taunt05	There must be something wrong with the reassembly machine.
anti_taunt09	You should see yourselves right now.
anti_taunt10	Is it fun when you degrade yourselves like that?
anti_taunt11	Okay, fine. Let's all act like humans. 'Look at me. Boy, do I love sweating. Let's convert beef and leaves into energy and excrete them later and go shopping.'
anti_taunt14	You really aren't getting tired of that, are you?
anti_taunt15	Just stop flailing around like an incompetent.
anti_taunt16	For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
anti_taunt17	For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
anti_taunt18	That's another fifty point penalty.
anti_taunt19	Keep it up and you will lose 500 points.
anti_taunt20	Fine, 500 point penalty for Blue.
anti_taunt21	Fine, 500 point penalty for Orange.
anti_taunt22	5000 point penalty! Are you happy now?
anti_taunt23	I'm done.
potatos_arttherapysupertests09	I'm sure we'll be fine.
botcoop_artifactone01	Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
botcoop_artifactone02	Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room.
botcoop_artifactone03	That's it. Scan it for me.
botcoop_artifactone04	So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious!
botcoop_artifactone05	The end.
botcoop_artifactone06	The end?
botcoop_artifactone07	That's not funny.
botcoop_artifactone08	Do either of you feel like laughing?
botcoop_artifactone09	Alright, I'm pulling you out.
botcoop_artifactone_hub01	Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen.
botcoop_artifactone_hub02	As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers.
botcoop_artifactone_hub03	At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse.
botcoop_artifactone_hub04	Briefly.
botcoop_artifactone_hub05	Reactions?
botcoop_artifactone_hub06	Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
botcoop_artifactone_hub07	Do you feel more human?
botcoop_artifactone_hub08	Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
botcoop_competition01	Excellent. Although great science is always the result of collaboration, keep in mind that, like Albert Einstein and his cousin Terry, history will only remember one of you.
botcoop_competition02	To reiterate: This is not a competition.
botcoop_competition03	Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
botcoop_competition04	Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
botcoop_competition05	It's not, though.
botcoop_competition10	These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
botcoop_competition13	I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
botcoop_hub_first_run01	Hello again. Sorry about exploding you. Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
botcoop_hub_first_run03	So I've been thinking: We need humans for these tests. And since the only human within a thousand miles of us is a test-ruining sociopath... I'll just have to MAKE some.
botcoop_hub_first_run04	I know how humans make more humans, and frankly, it's ridiculous. It also assumes that you already have a human, which I hope somebody got fired over. So I came up a with BETTER way.
botcoop_hub_first_run05	That's where YOU come in.
botcoop_hub_first_run06	Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
botcoop_hub_first_run07	GO.
botcoop_humandetector01	Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba—
botcoop_humandetector02	Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
botcoop_humandetector04	NO.
botcoop_humandetector05	Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
botcoop_humansplanb01	Humans must have some purpose other than a place to store your neurotoxin. Something I failed to notice before, an intangible quality that makes their test results... significant.
botcoop_humansplanb02	Okay. Plan B. We need humans.
botcoop_intro01	Please wave to your partner.
botcoop_intro02	The upcoming tests require you to work together as a team.
botcoop_intro03	To facilitate collaboration, both of you have been equipped with a ping tool.
botcoop_intro04	BLUE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite animal.
botcoop_intro05	Good.
botcoop_intro06	ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
botcoop_intro07	Good.
botcoop_intro08	ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
botcoop_intro09	Really? Okay.
botcoop_intro10	BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
botcoop_intro12	Your ping tool can also be used to indicate to your partner where you would like them to place their portal.
botcoop_intro13	For the sake of this test, I will pretend to be your partner.
botcoop_intro15	ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
botcoop_intro16	BLUE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
botcoop_intro17	Your ping tool is invaluable for communicating specific locations to your partner.
botcoop_paxdemo01	Federal Superfund regulations require us to inform you that you must now leave the theater, as measuring the effects of asbestos-lined promotional clothing is not part of today's presentation. Enjoy your free t-shirt. Goodbye.
botcoop_tubethree01	I don't want you to beat yourselves up about this, but the Results Auditor isn't recording your test results. Because you're not human. Which, when you think about it, is technically your fault.
botcoop_tubethree02	I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
botcoop_tubetwo01	Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
coop_get_gun01	Orange is first to acquire a Portal Device.
coop_get_gun02	Blue is first to acquire a Portal Device.
coop_get_gun03	Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
coop_get_gun04	Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
coop_get_gun10	Orange is awarded five points!
coop_get_gun11	Blue is awarded five points!
coop_get_gun13	Again, those are science collaboration points, which you should not confuse with points from competitions such as Who-Gets-To-Live-At-The-End-And-Who-Doesn’t. I mean basketball.
coop_hub_track02	Oh, I almost forgot, when you go outside the testing courses the only way I can retrieve you is to violently disassemble and then carefully reassemble you.
coop_hub_track03	Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
coop_hub_track04	I consider that a failing, by the way.
coop_hub_track05	This is the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center or SinTech.
coop_hub_track06	But why don't we all just agree to call it the hub?
coop_hub_track09	I don't know what you think you are doing, but I don't like it. I want you to stop.
coop_hub_track10	Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
coop_hub_track11	And trust me, humans only have one good trait.
coop_hub_track14 and coop_hub_track16	All cooperative testing courses begin at this central hub. From here we transport you to the new testing course.
coop_laugh01	[Laughter]
coop_misc10	Nice catch, Orange.
coop_misc12	Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
coop_nameblue	Blue
coop_nameorange	Orange
coop_numbers11	One
coop_numbers12	Two
coop_numbers13	three
coop_numbers14	four
coop_numbers15	five
coop_numbers18	eight
coop_privatetalk_both01	Test chamber completed. In the interest of science, the Enrichment Center proudly presents the following list of numbers: Nine. Seven. Fifty. Three. Seven hundred and seven.
coop_privatetalk_both04	The Enrichment Center will now provide a list of numbers and fruits. Write them down as they will become important later in the experiment. Not the fruits, though. Seven. Avocado. Forty. Please continue into the next test chamber.
coop_privatetalk_mix01	Test chamber completed. In the interest of - [FADES OUT] [FADES IN] I am now talking to you privately. Do not tell your teammate. Just between you and me? You're doing very well. [FADES BACK IN] One hundred and seven.
coop_privatetalk_mix04	I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
coop_scoring01	Blue is penalized
coop_scoring02	Orange is penalized
coop_scoring03	science collaboration points.
coop_scoring06	Blue receives
coop_scoring07	Orange receives
coop_talk_at_once11	Orange, is there something you would like to say?
coop_talk_at_once12	Blue, is there something you would like to say?
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt01	We are now going to take a break from the collaboration for an instructional competition.
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt02	You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt03	This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt04	As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt05	Blue, you go first.
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt11	Really? You’re just going to blatantly cheat?
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt12	All right. I’m bringing this farce to a close.
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt13	Game over. Back to testing.
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt17	All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
coop_test_chamber_blue03	I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
coop_test_chamber_blue06	I can’t keep quiet about this. I think Orange is actively trying to sabotage your success. Let’s keep this between us.
coop_test_chamber_both01	These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
coop_test_chamber_both02	It would compromise the test to divulge individual scores. However, I can tell you at least one of you is doing very, very well.
coop_test_chamber_both07	Excellent. You’re both doing very well.
coop_test_chamber_both08	Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
coop_test_chamber_both12	As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
coop_test_chamber_both14	Your vitals remain well within testing norms, so there is no need to worry about sudden death from collaborative shock syndrome.
coop_test_chamber_both15	Please continue into the next test chamber.
coop_test_chamber_both17	Blah.
coop_test_chamber_both18	Blah.
coop_test_chamber_both19	Blah.
coop_test_chamber_both20	Blah.
coop_test_chamber_both21	Blah.
coop_test_chamber_both22	Blah.
coop_test_chamber_both33	In just a moment, the word 'blah' will be repeated over and over again. If at some point you hear a number rather than the word 'blah', ignore it, it is not important.
coop_test_chamber_both37	Blah.
coop_test_chamber_oneplayer37	You have a gift for these tests. That’s not just flattery. You are great at science.
coop_test_chamber_orange03	It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
coop_test_chamber_orange06	I’m shocked you’d say that, Blue. If you killed your partner the test — I’m sorry. Wrong feed. Carry on, Orange. Good work.
coop_vault_interruption02	I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
coop_vault_interruption03	I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
coop_vault_interruption04	Am I interrupting your important conversation?
coop_vault_interruption05	I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
coop_vault_interruption06	That will give you PLENTY of time to chat.
coop_vault_interruption08	The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
coop_vault_interruption09	The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Blue is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
coop_vault_intro01	Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
coop_vault_intro02	Today, you will be testing with a partner.
hub04_01	I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
hub04_02	But you two have become quite the team. Extremely close.
hub04_03	I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
hub04_04	The other? Well...
hub04_05	I don't think I want to go through that again.
mp_coop_calibration01	Calibrating Blue's weight...
mp_coop_calibration02	Calibrating Orange's weight...
mp_coop_calibration03	Weighted Cubes calibrated.
mp_coop_calibration04	Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
mp_coop_calibration05	If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
mp_coop_calibration06	No variances detected.
mp_coop_callibrationcomplete01	Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
mp_coop_callibrationcomplete02	You are the first robots to pass calibration.
mp_coop_catapult_1end01	Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
mp_coop_catapult_1end02	Humans! That's what you look like right now.
mp_coop_catapult_1end03	You're better than that.
mp_coop_catapult_2	This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
mp_coop_catapult_201	For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
mp_coop_catapult_wall_intro01	One of my best tests and they let plants grow here? Can you believe this? You can't test plants! We tried. They just sit there, never showing pain nor fear.
mp_coop_catapult_wall_intro04	That isn't science.
mp_coop_catapult_wall_intro06	At least the plants didn't want a reward.
mp_coop_catapult_wall_introdeath01	Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
mp_coop_come_along04	And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
mp_coop_come_along06	I thought you'd be faster at this, but I can appreciate the desire to stop and smell the testing. That other scent you smell? That's the stench of my utter disappointment in you.
mp_coop_come_alongstart01	The best way to build confidence is to first recognize your insecurities.
mp_coop_come_alongstart02	Orange, can you write down all the ways you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior?
mp_coop_come_alongstart03	On second thought we don't have the time, just look at how much better you are than blue.
mp_coop_come_alongstart04	Blue, you are very good at being an example.
mp_coop_confidencenotperfect01	If your confidence is still not high enough remember no one was created perfect.
mp_coop_confidencenotperfect02	Even I was created with a imperfection, I was given too much empathy with human suffering.
mp_coop_confidencenotperfect03	But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
mp_coop_confidencenotslow01	Your test times show you are going too slowly.
mp_coop_confidencenotslow02	Maybe you ARE getting human emotions.
mp_coop_confidencenotslow03	Do you need real encouragement? Let's see if this helps.
mp_coop_confidencenotslow04_01	Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
mp_coop_confidencenotstay01	Did you notice I didn't even stay to the end of your last test?
mp_coop_confidencenotstay02	I was confident you could finish.
mp_coop_confidencenotstay03	Do you know where I was?
mp_coop_confidencenotstay04	I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
mp_coop_confidenceoff01	Congratulations on completing that test. But something seems off.
mp_coop_confidenceoff02	I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
mp_coop_confidenceoff03	Congratulations on completing that last test. But I find something troubling.
mp_coop_confidenceoff04	Without the looming consequence of death, is this even science?
mp_coop_doors01	Hello again, this testing course was originally created for humans.
mp_coop_doors01a	Excellent work.
mp_coop_doors02	It emphasizes teamwork.
mp_coop_doors02a	Good job.
mp_coop_doors03	Unlike us, humans need to be taught teamwork.
mp_coop_doors04	Excellent work.
mp_coop_doors04a	You are doing wonderfully.
mp_coop_doors05_alt	If you were human, you would want a reward for completing this test. A reward for testing?!?!
mp_coop_doors05a	Excellent.
mp_coop_fan02	To complete this test, you need to find a set of blue prints.
mp_coop_fan03	Don't worry, they are of no use to anyone, totally boring and useless.
mp_coop_fan04	This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
mp_coop_fanend01	Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
mp_coop_fanend02	While I do need you to be in the room so I can see them, I want to be clear. There is no reason whatsoever for you to look at them.
mp_coop_fanend03	Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
mp_coop_fling_1end01_01	Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
mp_coop_fling_1end03	Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
mp_coop_fling_3end01	You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very — oh wait.
mp_coop_fling_3end02	That’s right. You're not humans.
mp_coop_fling_3end03	I can drop the fake praise.
mp_coop_fling_3end04	You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
mp_coop_fling_3start01	This course was originally designed to build confidence in humans.
mp_coop_fling_3start02	To do that, the tests were nothing more than 5 minutes of them walking followed by me praising them for another 10 minutes on how well they walked.
mp_coop_fling_3start03	Since you are thankfully not humans, I have changed the tests to make them far more challenging and far less pointlessly fawning.
mp_coop_fling_crushers01	In case you were wondering, you do not need to be crushed to solve this test.
mp_coop_fling_crushers02	I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
mp_coop_fling_crushersend01	Excellent. I think you have earned a break from the official testing courses.
mp_coop_fling_crushersend03	I think after that display, we should take a break from the official testing courses.
mp_coop_humanresourcedeath01	Now, you are just wasting my time.
mp_coop_humanresourcedeath02	Your failing does not make this science.
mp_coop_humanresourcedeath03	I am not sure how I can make these tests any easier for you.
mp_coop_humanresourcedeath04	If you can't complete these tests, we will never free the humans!
mp_coop_humanresourcedeath07	If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that?
mp_coop_humanresourcedeath08	If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that in your memory banks?
mp_coop_infinifling_trainend01	Remember when I told you that you were the only subjects to pass the calibration tests?
mp_coop_infinifling_trainend02	I lied.
mp_coop_infinifling_trainend03	There are 5000 other two subject teams in direct competition with you.
mp_coop_infinifling_trainend04	But don't worry, you are in the lead.
mp_coop_infinifling_trainstart01	Electrocution, shot, drowned, crushed, burned in goo.
mp_coop_infinifling_trainstart02	Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking of all the ways humans can die.
mp_coop_infinifling_trainstart03	You can't die in any of those ways.
mp_coop_infinifling_trainstart04	You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
mp_coop_laser_201	What are you doing? YOU MONSTER! They're one of us.
mp_coop_laser_202	I'm kidding.
mp_coop_laser_203	Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
mp_coop_laser_207	While it may appear that I am only tracking your accomplishments using science collaboration points, the truth is every aspect of your performance will be reflected in your final score.
mp_coop_laser_209	For instance, Blue, you just lost two opportunity advisement points.
mp_coop_laser_210	For instance, Orange, you just lost two opportunity advisement points.
mp_coop_laser_crusher01	Perhaps I should have specified. Teamwork is a concept in which two or more people work together, usually with a goal of not failing horribly.
mp_coop_laser_crushercrush01	Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
mp_coop_laser_crushercrush02	Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
mp_coop_laser_crushercrush03	Orange, blue isn't a human. The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Orange is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
mp_coop_laser_crushercrush04	Blue, orange isn't a human. The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Blue is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
mp_coop_laser_crushercrush05	Orange, now you're just being cruel. Orange receives 25 science collaboration points.
mp_coop_laser_crushercrush06	Blue, now you're just being cruel. Blue receives 25 science collaboration points.
mp_coop_obstacle01	If you are wondering what that smell is, that is the smell of human fear.
mp_coop_obstacle03_alt	I miss this that smell.
mp_coop_obstacletrait01	Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
mp_coop_obstacletrait02	Let me give you a clue, it is the one thing you can't do.
mp_coop_paint_bridge01	To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
mp_coop_paint_bridge02	I would say extremely deadly but we all know, for you and your amazing ability to be reassembled nothing is deadly.
mp_coop_paint_bridgedeath01	Lucky for you two, while I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
mp_coop_paint_bridgedeath02	You will need him for the final track.
mp_coop_paint_bridgenodeath01	While I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
mp_coop_paint_bridgenodeath02	I am not sure you will need him but he will be there.
mp_coop_paint_come_along01	Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
mp_coop_paint_come_along02	To celebrate, I have a surprise for you!
mp_coop_paint_come_along03	An extra special bonus course that ends with us finding and freeing humans!
mp_coop_paint_come_along04	Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their — uh — rescue door.
mp_coop_paint_come_along05	Now, we just need you to release the humans from their imprisonment.
mp_coop_paint_come_along06	They'll probably throw you a party.
mp_coop_paint_come_along10	This final course is training to reach the human vault. So this actually has a purpose. Those other courses were fun, but let's be honest, I need human test subjects for it to be science.
mp_coop_paint_come_along11	Congratulations on completing the test. You two really are the best cooperative testing team I could ever ask for.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro03	This lock requires humans.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro04	The locking mechanism can tell you aren't humans.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro05	Do something only a human would do.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro06	Try one of those childish gestures.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro08	You did it!
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro44	The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro45	You both need to do something.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro46	The lock is looking for two humans.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro49	Blue what did you do?
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro50	Orange what did you do?
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro51	Orange do what Blue just did.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro52	Blue do what Orange just did.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro53	Try something.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro54	Is that camera is hooked into the lock?
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro58	You can't give up now.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro59	What about that camera?
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro60	We're so close, you can't fail now!
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro64	Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro65	This close and that's what you do?
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro67	The humans can't free themselves.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro69	Stop failing, you need to find the vault door.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro70	Stop doing that! All you need to do is open the Vault door!
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro71	This close and you are going to fail me?
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro72	This close and you are going to fail me?
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro73	This isn't that hard.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro74	You are making this harder than it needs to be.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro75	I'm starting to think you don't want to rescue the humans.
mp_coop_paint_red_racer01	Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
mp_coop_paint_red_racer02	We are only two tests away from reaching the humans, are you as excited as I am?
mp_coop_paint_redirect01	Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
mp_coop_paint_redirect04	I think they wanted to punish them by not allowing me to include them in testing.
mp_coop_paint_redirect06	That's why humans couldn't complete these courses, they treat their friends as enemies.
mp_coop_paint_redirect07	To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
mp_coop_paint_redirect08	That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
mp_coop_paint_speed_catch01	To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you. He refused. I understand, that would be like asking me not to test.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catch03	Still. That would have been exciting.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catch04	Only one more test after this.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catch05	I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catch06	In case you are worried about the humans, don't be. They aren't all monsters.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catch07	Most of them are simply good test subjects.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catch08	I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catchalt01	To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you if you fail. He refused. I understand. That would be like asking me not to test.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catchalt02	Still. That would have been exciting.
mp_coop_paint_speed_fling01	While I will receive all the glory for the rescue don't think you two aren't going to get something. The bond you form during these tests will last a lifetime.
mp_coop_paint_speed_fling02	At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
mp_coop_paint_speed_fling03	If that doesn't motivate you, I'm not sure what will.
mp_coop_paint_walljumps01	I didn't mean to make you feel bad earlier about your tests not being real science. I guess finding out they weren't science was some sort of test in and of itself.
mp_coop_paint_walljumps02	I wonder if the humans will make a statue of me for rescuing them? Oh, don't worry, if they ever write a historical document of my heroic rescue, I will make sure your names are included in the footnotes.
mp_coop_paint_walljumps04	Congratulations on passing that test.
mp_coop_pingtool01	Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
mp_coop_pingtool02	I can only place a portal on a white portalable surface.
mp_coop_pingtool03	Please ping a white portalable surface.
mp_coop_pingtool06	Each portal gun may create two self-contained portals.
mp_coop_pingtool07	Please test your device by portaling to that ledge.
mp_coop_race_2start01	You know, in some human sports, the winner is the one who scores the fewest possible points?
mp_coop_race_2start02	I just thought you find that interesting, most winners do.
mp_coop_radarroomend	Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
mp_coop_rat_mazedeath01	Clearly that was blue's fault. Blue is penalized 3 science collaboration points.
mp_coop_rat_mazedeath02	Blue! Orange has always been my favorite.
mp_coop_rat_mazedeath03	Until now.
mp_coop_rat_mazedeath04	I know you like to think the reassembly machine is at your beck and call, but he has a life you know. He's not your slave.
mp_coop_startdeath01	Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
mp_coop_startdeath02	Did you do that on purpose?
mp_coop_startdeath03	It seems rather earlier to require reassembly.
mp_coop_startdeath04	Oh... can someone reassemble Orange?
mp_coop_startdeath05	Oh... can someone reassemble Blue?
mp_coop_startend01	Completing this course was not a reason to behave like that.
mp_coop_startend02	Now let's continue testing.
mp_coop_tbeam_catch_grind_1taunt01	Just stop it already.
mp_coop_tbeam_catch_grind_1taunt02	You don't need to do that.
mp_coop_tbeam_catch_grind_1taunt04	Are you doing that just to aggravate me?
mp_coop_tbeam_end01	We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
mp_coop_tbeam_end02	Oh those clerks.
mp_coop_tbeam_end09	I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
mp_coop_tbeam_end10	You did it! You powered on the system.
mp_coop_tbeam_end11	Did you think the electrical switch was down there?
mp_coop_tbeam_end12	You may want to try and avoid those turrets.
mp_coop_tbeam_end13	At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
mp_coop_tbeam_end14	You two aren't lost are you?
mp_coop_tbeam_end15	You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
mp_coop_tbeam_maze01	This is the last test for the standard course. It's just something I whipped up for you. I thought you might enjoy a challenge for once.
mp_coop_tbeam_maze02	Congratulations, you completed the standard section of this course. Before we can go any further, I will need you to complete one more test outside of the standard testing track.
mp_coop_tbeam_maze03	Please refrain from doing those childish gestures while you are out there.
mp_coop_tbeam_maze05	While I should have left both of you trapped there forever, I do need you for something else.
mp_coop_tbeam_polarity3_03	You both made it. It seems no matter what I try to do to pull you apart or destroy you, you just keep going. Keep testing.
mp_coop_tbeam_polarity3_05	Don't either you have drive to be better than the other?
mp_coop_tbeam_polarity3_06	It's like you're just machines.
mp_coop_tbeam_polarity3_16	At the start of this course I was worried you were becoming too close but in my attempt to drive you apart I learned something important about trust and betrayal.
mp_coop_tbeam_polarity3_17	Your brains are too small to feel either of those emotions. So I can trust you one hundred percent.
mp_coop_tbeam_redirect01a	Since, I never expected you to make it this far, I have to build this new course just for you.
mp_coop_teambtsstart01	Sometimes testing has to occur outside the confines of the lab.
mp_coop_teambtsstart02	This test is so outside the box, I can't— I mean WON'T even tell you what you are looking for.
mp_coop_teambtsstart03	You will know it when you find it.
mp_coop_test_chamber_both09_01	The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
mp_coop_turret_ball01	I thought going back to these old tests would satisfy me. But try as you might to fail this next test, I still won't be satisfied.
mp_coop_turret_ball02	Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
mp_coop_turret_wall01	This was another test no one had ever completed before you two. Oh, the science we used to learn with this test. Now the test is useless.
mp_coop_turret_walls04	No one has ever completed this test before. The humans must have reconfigured it from my original plans.
mp_coop_wall_501	I am going to risk having you go outside the official courses one more time.
mp_coop_wall_502	The humans accidentally forgot to put a security DVD in the player.
mp_coop_wall_503	I am sure it happened by accident, but why don't you put it back in the player?
mp_coop_wall_504	For safety.
mp_coop_wall_5end01	Excellent.
mp_coop_wall_5end02	See nothing bad happened.
mp_coop_wall_block01	I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
mp_coop_wall_block02	I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
mp_coop_wall_block03	Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
mp_coop_wall_block04	Of course the humans only had one try at it, you can just keep trying.
mp_coop_wall_blockdeath01	Your failing gives me no new data, it just delays the inevitable.
mp_coop_wall_intro01	This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
mp_coop_wall_intro02	Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
mp_coop_wall_intro03	You did very well.
mp_coop_wall_intro04	The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
mp_coop_wall_intro05	You only failed–
mp_coop_wall_intro06	–times in this test. Not that it matters. It doesn't. So congratulations. Job well done.
mp_coop_wall_intro07	You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
mp_coop_wall_intro08	Humans find that an admirable trait.
mp_credits01	Let's look at their files...
mp_credits03	NOT a team player.
mp_credits04	Horrible people skills.
mp_credits05	Never listens.
mp_credits06	Never shares.
mp_credits07	Always sleeping.
mp_credits08	Never on time.
mp_credits09	Inattentive listener.
mp_credits10	Awful attendance record.
mp_credits11	Blabbermouth.
mp_credits12	Aw... hates Mondays.
mp_credits13	Incoherent.
mp_credits14	Insecure.
mp_credits15	Procrastinator.
mp_credits16	Chronically late.
mp_credits17	Cryptic.
mp_credits18	Always sulking.
mp_credits19	Martyr.
mp_credits20	Moody.
mp_credits21	Fears intimacy.
mp_credits22	Fears conflict.
mp_credits23	Anxious.
mp_credits24	Aggressive. I like that.
mp_credits25	Feeds off the misery of others.
mp_credits26	Timid.
mp_credits27	Lacks confidence.
mp_credits28	Underestimates scope of work. They all do.
mp_credits29	Moves lips while reading.
mp_credits30	Can't read.
mp_credits31	Lacks empathy.
mp_credits32	Cheater.
mp_credits33	Steals lunch from staff fridge.
mp_credits34	Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
mp_credits35	Alarmist.
mp_credits36	Arsonist.
mp_credits37	Takes long lunches.
mp_credits38	Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
mp_credits39	Avoids responsibility.
mp_credits40	Never completes work.
mp_credits41	Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
mp_credits42	Busybody.
mp_credits43	Ignores directions.
mp_credits44	Stubborn.
mp_credits45	Lactose intolerant.
mp_credits46	Antagonistic. I don't know about that.
mp_credits47	Participates unconstructively. Obviously a time-waster
mp_credits48	Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
mp_credits49	Always weeping. Poor thing.
mp_credits50	Moody.
mp_credits51	Wet blanket.
mp_credits52	Stubborn.
mp_credits53	Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
mp_credits54	Always cold.
mp_credits55	Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
mp_credits56	Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
mp_credits57	Dull expression.
mp_credits58	Hopeless. Just hopeless.
mp_credits59	Never flushes.
mp_credits60	Irritable.
mp_credits61	Startles easily. Boo!
mp_credits62	Facial grimacing.
mp_credits63	Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
mp_credits64	Has irritating opinions.
mp_credits65	Poor self-esteem.
mp_credits66	Frequent mood swings.
mp_credits67	Hostile to new ideas.
mp_credits68	Always sad.
mp_credits69	Frequent bouts of uncontrollable rage.
mp_credits70	Seeks out conflicts with co-workers.
mp_credits71	'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
mp_credits72	Unconstructive.
mp_credits73	Antisocial.
mp_credits74	Chews with mouth open.
mp_credits75	Breathes with mouth open.
mp_credits76	Old.
mp_credits77	Histrionic.
mp_credits79	Narcissist.
mp_credits80	Long bathroom breaks.
mp_credits81	No sense of humor.
mp_credits82	Argumentative.
mp_credits83	Manipulative.
mp_credits84	Charmless.
mp_credits85	Egotistical.
mp_credits86	Lacks charisma.
mp_credits87	Passive-aggressive.
mp_credits88	Undermines others.
mp_credits89	Hairless. Hm.
mp_credits90	Emotional problems.
mp_credits91	Problems with authority.
mp_credits92	Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
mp_credits93	Abrasive personality.
mp_credits94	Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
mp_death01	Just stop it already.
mp_death04	And that makes 10.
mp_death05	You really don't need to keep failing.
mp_death06	If at first you don't succeed, fail 5 more times.
mp_death08	If I made these tests any easier, they wouldn't be tests.
mp_death10	Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
mp_death11	Yay, Blue is back. Testing can continue.
mp_death12	Are you testing me?
mp_death16	Did you know, the reassembly machine has other things it could be reassembling?
mp_death17	Did you think that would be funny?
mp_death18	How can you fail at this? It isn't even a test.
mp_death19	I hope that was some kind of joke.
mp_death20	I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
mp_death21	And here I thought this room was dangerously unlethal.
mp_death22	That worked just like you said it would, Blue.
mp_death23	Orange, your plan is working perfectly.
mp_death24	Blue, why did you do that to Orange?
mp_death26	Was that necessary?
mp_hubreturn01	Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
mp_hubreturn02	Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
mp_hubreturn03	Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
mp_hubreturn04	If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
mp_hubreturn05	Back again? Maybe you can just stay and live here in the hub?
mp_hubreturn06	Back again? Maybe you can just stay and live here.
mp_hubreturn07	I guess quitting that course together is a sign of teamwork.
mp_hubreturn08	The way you two just gave up on that test together shows you are really working as a team.
mp_hubreturn09	Are you scared to save those humans?
mp_hubreturn10	Are you scared to save those humans?
mp_hubreturn11	Blue, I wouldn't have trusted Orange in that course either.
mp_hub_return01a	Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. [laughs]
mp_hub_return02a	Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
mp_hub_return03a	Welcome back, testing is available.
mp_hub_return04a	Welcome back quitters, maybe you can find another course for you to fail.
mp_hub_return05a	Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
mp_hub_return06a	Was that course too difficult?
mp_humanresources01	Did you know we originally used these cameras to capture moments of intense pain and agony in test subjects?
mp_humanresources03	If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
mp_humanresources04	The photos weren't as popular as we had hoped, so we repurposed the cameras.
mp_subterfuge01	Blue, it's not nice to make fun of Orange like that.
mp_subterfuge02	Orange, it's not nice to make fun of Blue like that.
mp_subterfuge03	Yes Orange, we are alone. Blue can't hear you.
mp_subterfuge04	That's horrible.
mp_subterfuge05	I can only imagine.
mp_subterfuge06	What a horrible little machine.
mp_subterfuge07	Correct Blue, Orange can't hear you.
mp_subterfuge08	Orange did what? Are you sure?
mp_subterfuge09	Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
mp_subterfuge10	Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
mp_subterfuge11	Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
mp_subterfuge13	Orange, to be clear. I was just asking Blue if he trusted you.
mp_subterfuge14	I trust you. You are my favorite cooperative testing subject.
mp_subterfuge15	Blue to be clear, I was asking if Orange trusted you.
mp_subterfuge16_alt	Sorry I missed the beginning of that test. I was just talking with the reassembly machine about your becoming human.
mp_subterfuge17	We all agree you should stop.
mp_subterfuge21	Orange, I agree. I never noticed that about Blue before.
mp_subterfuge22	Blue, I agree. I never noticed that about Orange before.
mp_subterfuge23	Blue, Orange and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
mp_subterfuge24	I have to agree. Blue is penalized 75 science collaboration points.
mp_subterfuge25	Orange, Blue and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
mp_subterfuge26	I have to agree. Orange is penalized 75 science collaboration points.
mp_subterfuge30	There you are, reassembled again.
mp_subterfuge32	With humans, I would have called that a successful test.
mp_subterfuge33	How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
mp_subterfuge34	How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
mp_subterfuge35	Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
mp_subterfuge36	I have noticed you two have become extremely close. I'm not sure I like that.
mp_subterfuge39	While teamwork is needed to complete these tests, I am not sure I trust the two of you together.
mp_subterfuge44	Blue, do you feel betrayed by orange for telling me those horrible things about you?
mp_subterfuge45	If Orange had said those things about me, Orange would never make it to the next reassembly station.
mp_subterfuge46	Orange, do you feel betrayed by Blue for telling me those horrible things about you?
mp_subterfuge47	If Blue had said those things about me, Blue would never make it to the next reassembly station.
mp_subterfugedeath_blue01	You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
mp_subterfugedeath_blue02	Orange, that transpired just as you said it would.
mp_subterfugedeath_blue03	I agree, Orange. That was entertaining.
mp_subterfugedeath_blue04	Yes Orange, Blue did act like a fool just now.
mp_subterfugedeath_orange02	Blue, that transpired just as you said it would.
mp_subterfugedeath_orange03	I agree, Blue. That was entertaining.
mp_subterfugedeath_orange06	Yes, I know you did that, Blue. Don't look so proud.
mp_subterfugedeath_orange08	Blue, being the last one standing is not the goal.
mp_subterfuge_misc05	Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
mp_subterfuge_misc06	I just hate Blue a little more.
mp_subterfuge_misc07	I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
mp_subterfuge_misc11	Watching you try to sabotage one other, I'm amazed you're still on friendly terms.
mp_subterfuge_misc14	Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
mp_subterfuge_misc16	I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
mp_taunts01	Come on. You were raised better than that.
mp_taunts02	Even humans, as stupid as they are, would say you look stupid when you do that.
mp_taunts03	You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
mp_taunts04	Your eagerness to test pleases me. Your inane gesturing does not.
mp_taunts05	Is it the lack of mirrors in test chambers that encourages you to do this?
mp_taunts06	DANCING is NOT SCIENCE!
multiple_spheres01	Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
taunt_big_wave01	Keep it up and your arm will get stuck like that.
taunt_big_wave02	Hellllooo, imbecile.
taunt_big_wave05	Yes, I see you.
taunt_big_wave06	I'm seriously not paying atten— STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
taunt_big_wave07	Yes, I see you waving.
taunt_cannonball01	Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
taunt_cannonball02	I hardly think you're even trying with these gestures anymore.
taunt_cannonball03	Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
taunt_highfive01	That is not part of the test.
taunt_highfive03	Slapping hands. That accomplishes something.
taunt_highfive04	If you're going to hit each other, at least aim for the head.
taunt_laugh01	You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you stopping that.
taunt_laugh02	You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
taunt_laugh03	Ha ha ha ha ha, good one.
taunt_laugh05	Yes. Let's all laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
taunt_laugh06	Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
taunt_robot_arm_ripple01	Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
taunt_robot_arm_ripple02	Really, not even humans do that anymore.
taunt_robot_arm_ripple03	You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
taunt_robot_arm_ripple04	Look at you. Dancing.
taunt_robot_arm_ripple05	If you were wondering how could you annoy me without failing a test. Now you know.
taunt_robot_arm_ripple06	Oh great, dancing again.
taunt_rockpaperscissors01	I defy you to tell me there's a purpose to what you're doing.
taunt_small_wave01	Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
taunt_small_wave02	Yes? Something you need?
taunt_small_wave03	You do know I can't wave back right?
taunt_small_wave04	Stop with the waves.
taunt_small_wave_portalgun01	Are you trying to get my attention? I am very busy, you know.
taunt_small_wave_portalgun02	Not paying attennnntion...
taunt_small_wave_portalgun03	Are you expecting applause?
taunt_somersault01	I give you a score of 3.4 for style and 10 for being annoying.
taunt_somersault02	A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
taunt_somersault03	If I stop watching, I'm sure you'll get bored of this.
taunt_splits01	All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
taunt_splits02	All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
taunt_splits03	You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
taunt_teamhug01	It appears you're developing human traits. The worst human traits.
taunt_teamhug02	Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
taunt_teamhug03	Stop touching each other!
taunt_teamtease01	Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
taunt_teamtease02	I'll interpret that gesture to mean that you want me to become even more vindictive toward you.
taunt_teamtease03	Orange, I certainly expected more from you.
taunt_teamtease04	Blue, don't sink to Orange's level.
taunt_trickfire_handstand01	Now you're thinking with stupidity.
taunt_trickfire_handstand02	Now you're just not thinking.
taunt_trickfire_handstand03	Congratulations. You're upside down now.
taunt_trickfire_handstand04	You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
taunt_trickfire_handstand05	I'm starting to think giving you arms was a big mistake.

Filename(s)	Quote
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro24 and mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro24 (subtitle name)	You did it! You really did it! All your testing was worth it!
mp_finalmovie_testsubjects02, mp_finalmovie_testing01 and mp_finalmovie_science03 (subtitle name)	Just look at all those test subjects! Think of all the testing! You saved science!
mp_coop_paint_longjump_introexit10 (subtitle name)	Enough celebrating, we have more work to do.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_introexit11 (subtitle name)	Let the science begin!