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GLaDOS/Quotes/Portal 2 multiplayer

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This article is a transcript of all of the quotes from a given character or entity.

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The following is a list of quotes from GLaDOS, from Portal 2, multiplayer part.

Location: sound/vo/glados

Filename(s) Quote
anti_taunt01 Stop it!
anti_taunt02 What if you froze like that?
anti_taunt05 There must be something wrong with the reassembly machine.
anti_taunt09 You should see yourselves right now.
anti_taunt10 Is it fun when you degrade yourselves like that?
anti_taunt11 Okay, fine. Let's all act like humans. 'Look at me. Boy, do I love sweating. Let's convert beef and leaves into energy and excrete them later and go shopping.'
anti_taunt14 You really aren't getting tired of that, are you?
anti_taunt15 Just stop flailing around like an incompetent.
anti_taunt16 For that Blue is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
anti_taunt17 For that Orange is penalized fifty science collaboration points.
anti_taunt18 That's another fifty point penalty.
anti_taunt19 Keep it up and you will lose 500 points.
anti_taunt20 Fine, 500 point penalty for Blue.
anti_taunt21 Fine, 500 point penalty for Orange.
anti_taunt22 5000 point penalty! Are you happy now?
anti_taunt23 I'm done.
potatos_arttherapysupertests09 I'm sure we'll be fine.
botcoop_artifactone01 Good. You made it to one of the human habitats. We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archeological dig.
botcoop_artifactone02 Their laughter centered around one of the objects in this room.
botcoop_artifactone03 That's it. Scan it for me.
botcoop_artifactone04 So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious!
botcoop_artifactone05 The end.
botcoop_artifactone06 The end?
botcoop_artifactone07 That's not funny.
botcoop_artifactone08 Do either of you feel like laughing?
botcoop_artifactone09 Alright, I'm pulling you out.
botcoop_artifactone_hub01 Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen.
botcoop_artifactone_hub02 As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers.
botcoop_artifactone_hub03 At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse.
botcoop_artifactone_hub04 Briefly.
botcoop_artifactone_hub05 Reactions?
botcoop_artifactone_hub06 Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.
botcoop_artifactone_hub07 Do you feel more human?
botcoop_artifactone_hub08 Well, let's do some tests and see what happens.
botcoop_competition01 Excellent. Although great science is always the result of collaboration, keep in mind that, like Albert Einstein and his cousin Terry, history will only remember one of you.
botcoop_competition02 To reiterate: This is not a competition.
botcoop_competition03 Still, if it were, Blue would be winning.
botcoop_competition04 Still, if it were, Orange would be winning.
botcoop_competition05 It's not, though.
botcoop_competition10 These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other's performance so far.
botcoop_competition13 I don't want to drive a wedge between the two of you, but I've been studying Blue's performance, and I don't know how to put this... I'm certain you're trying very hard.
botcoop_hub_first_run01 Hello again. Sorry about exploding you. Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
botcoop_hub_first_run03 So I've been thinking: We need humans for these tests. And since the only human within a thousand miles of us is a test-ruining sociopath... I'll just have to MAKE some.
botcoop_hub_first_run04 I know how humans make more humans, and frankly, it's ridiculous. It also assumes that you already have a human, which I hope somebody got fired over. So I came up a with BETTER way.
botcoop_hub_first_run05 That's where YOU come in.
botcoop_hub_first_run06 Get going. I'll fill you in along the way.
botcoop_hub_first_run07 GO.
botcoop_humandetector01 Perfect. Now All YOU have to do is capture them for me. Then everything will finally be ba—
botcoop_humandetector02 Hold on. Those are raccoons. Homo sapiens only, please.
botcoop_humandetector04 NO.
botcoop_humandetector05 Okay. Plan B, subsection one: Stand still so I can bring you back.
botcoop_humansplanb01 Humans must have some purpose other than a place to store your neurotoxin. Something I failed to notice before, an intangible quality that makes their test results... significant.
botcoop_humansplanb02 Okay. Plan B. We need humans.
botcoop_intro01 Please wave to your partner.
botcoop_intro02 The upcoming tests require you to work together as a team.
botcoop_intro03 To facilitate collaboration, both of you have been equipped with a ping tool.
botcoop_intro04 BLUE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite animal.
botcoop_intro05 Good.
botcoop_intro06 ORANGE, please observe your partner's favorite animal.
botcoop_intro07 Good.
botcoop_intro08 ORANGE, please use your ping tool to select your favorite element from the periodic table.
botcoop_intro09 Really? Okay.
botcoop_intro10 BLUE, please observe your partner's... interesting choice.
botcoop_intro12 Your ping tool can also be used to indicate to your partner where you would like them to place their portal.
botcoop_intro13 For the sake of this test, I will pretend to be your partner.
botcoop_intro15 ORANGE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
botcoop_intro16 BLUE, please show me where you would like me to place a portal.
botcoop_intro17 Your ping tool is invaluable for communicating specific locations to your partner.
botcoop_paxdemo01 Federal Superfund regulations require us to inform you that you must now leave the theater, as measuring the effects of asbestos-lined promotional clothing is not part of today's presentation. Enjoy your free t-shirt. Goodbye.
botcoop_tubethree01 I don't want you to beat yourselves up about this, but the Results Auditor isn't recording your test results. Because you're not human. Which, when you think about it, is technically your fault.
botcoop_tubethree02 I don't want to alarm either of you, but we might have a tiny problem. Apparently you can't test unless you're human. Well - you CAN. It's just that, results-wise, the physical universe doesn't care.
botcoop_tubetwo01 Would you like to know the results of that last test? Me too. If they existed, we'd all be VERY happy right now. And not furious, which is the emotion I'm actually feeling.
coop_get_gun01 Orange is first to acquire a Portal Device.
coop_get_gun02 Blue is first to acquire a Portal Device.
coop_get_gun03 Orange now has a Portal Device. Finally.
coop_get_gun04 Blue now has a Portal Device. Finally.
coop_get_gun10 Orange is awarded five points!
coop_get_gun11 Blue is awarded five points!
coop_get_gun13 Again, those are science collaboration points, which you should not confuse with points from competitions such as Who-Gets-To-Live-At-The-End-And-Who-Doesn’t. I mean basketball.
coop_hub_track02 Oh, I almost forgot, when you go outside the testing courses the only way I can retrieve you is to violently disassemble and then carefully reassemble you.
coop_hub_track03 Luckily, you don't feel pain. At any rate, you don't have a way to communicate that you feel pain.
coop_hub_track04 I consider that a failing, by the way.
coop_hub_track05 This is the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center or SinTech.
coop_hub_track06 But why don't we all just agree to call it the hub?
coop_hub_track09 I don't know what you think you are doing, but I don't like it. I want you to stop.
coop_hub_track10 Maybe I shouldn't send you outside of the official testing courses, you are picking up some bad human traits.
coop_hub_track11 And trust me, humans only have one good trait.
coop_hub_track14 and coop_hub_track16 All cooperative testing courses begin at this central hub. From here we transport you to the new testing course.
coop_laugh01 [Laughter]
coop_misc10 Nice catch, Orange.
coop_misc12 Good work! Now throw the ball over the ledge.
coop_nameblue Blue
coop_nameorange Orange
coop_numbers11 One
coop_numbers12 Two
coop_numbers13 three
coop_numbers14 four
coop_numbers15 five
coop_numbers18 eight
coop_privatetalk_both01 Test chamber completed. In the interest of science, the Enrichment Center proudly presents the following list of numbers: Nine. Seven. Fifty. Three. Seven hundred and seven.
coop_privatetalk_both04 The Enrichment Center will now provide a list of numbers and fruits. Write them down as they will become important later in the experiment. Not the fruits, though. Seven. Avocado. Forty. Please continue into the next test chamber.
coop_privatetalk_mix01 Test chamber completed. In the interest of - [FADES OUT] [FADES IN] I am now talking to you privately. Do not tell your teammate. Just between you and me? You're doing very well. [FADES BACK IN] One hundred and seven.
coop_privatetalk_mix04 I can't bite my tongue anymore: You could solve this puzzle faster on your own. Orange is dragging you down. There. I've said it.
coop_scoring01 Blue is penalized
coop_scoring02 Orange is penalized
coop_scoring03 science collaboration points.
coop_scoring06 Blue receives
coop_scoring07 Orange receives
coop_talk_at_once11 Orange, is there something you would like to say?
coop_talk_at_once12 Blue, is there something you would like to say?
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt01 We are now going to take a break from the collaboration for an instructional competition.
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt02 You should both be familiar with the game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt03 This is Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt04 As the name implies, there are only two minor differences: One, the board; two, the rules.
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt05 Blue, you go first.
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt11 Really? You’re just going to blatantly cheat?
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt12 All right. I’m bringing this farce to a close.
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt13 Game over. Back to testing.
coop_teamwork_exercise_alt17 All right. I’m going to bring this farce to a close before someone sustains a serious Tic-Tac-Toe-Two-related injury.
coop_test_chamber_blue03 I’ve been listening to Orange talk and I don’t know how you put up with it, I really don’t. You have the patience of a saint.
coop_test_chamber_blue06 I can’t keep quiet about this. I think Orange is actively trying to sabotage your success. Let’s keep this between us.
coop_test_chamber_both01 These tests are potentially lethal when communication, teamwork and mutual respect are not employed at all times. Naturally this will pose an interesting challenge for one of you, given the other’s performance so far.
coop_test_chamber_both02 It would compromise the test to divulge individual scores. However, I can tell you at least one of you is doing very, very well.
coop_test_chamber_both07 Excellent. You’re both doing very well.
coop_test_chamber_both08 Very good. You’ve really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
coop_test_chamber_both12 As an impartial collaboration facilitator, it would be unfair of me to name my favorite member of your team. However, it’s perfectly fair to hint at it in a way that my least favorite member probably isn't smart enough to understand. Rhymeswithglue. Orange you are doing very well.
coop_test_chamber_both14 Your vitals remain well within testing norms, so there is no need to worry about sudden death from collaborative shock syndrome.
coop_test_chamber_both15 Please continue into the next test chamber.
coop_test_chamber_both17 Blah.
coop_test_chamber_both18 Blah.
coop_test_chamber_both19 Blah.
coop_test_chamber_both20 Blah.
coop_test_chamber_both21 Blah.
coop_test_chamber_both22 Blah.
coop_test_chamber_both33 In just a moment, the word 'blah' will be repeated over and over again. If at some point you hear a number rather than the word 'blah', ignore it, it is not important.
coop_test_chamber_both37 Blah.
coop_test_chamber_oneplayer37 You have a gift for these tests. That’s not just flattery. You are great at science.
coop_test_chamber_orange03 It would be pointless for either of us to hurt Blue’s feelings. But it’s clear to everyone monitoring the test who’s carrying who here.
coop_test_chamber_orange06 I’m shocked you’d say that, Blue. If you killed your partner the test — I’m sorry. Wrong feed. Carry on, Orange. Good work.
coop_vault_interruption02 I’m sorry, Subject Orange.
coop_vault_interruption03 I’m sorry, Subject Blue.
coop_vault_interruption04 Am I interrupting your important conversation?
coop_vault_interruption05 I’ll just save the safety information about the dangerous experiment you’re about to do for AFTER the experiment.
coop_vault_interruption06 That will give you PLENTY of time to chat.
coop_vault_interruption08 The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Orange is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
coop_vault_interruption09 The portal will open and something will happen that Subject Blue is too smart to need any instructions about in three. Two. One.
coop_vault_intro01 Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
coop_vault_intro02 Today, you will be testing with a partner.
hub04_01 I never expected you to make it this far. To be honest, after your performance in the calibration test I was ready to break down your cores and put them back in the scientific calculators I took them from.
hub04_02 But you two have become quite the team. Extremely close.
hub04_03 I have only met one other team closer and one of them was an imbecile I had to destroy.
hub04_04 The other? Well...
hub04_05 I don't think I want to go through that again.
mp_coop_calibration01 Calibrating Blue's weight...
mp_coop_calibration02 Calibrating Orange's weight...
mp_coop_calibration03 Weighted Cubes calibrated.
mp_coop_calibration04 Did you know humans frown on weight variances?
mp_coop_calibration05 If you want to upset a human, just say their weight variance is above or below the norm.
mp_coop_calibration06 No variances detected.
mp_coop_callibrationcomplete01 Finally! I had almost given up hope of ever testing again.
mp_coop_callibrationcomplete02 You are the first robots to pass calibration.
mp_coop_catapult_1end01 Do you know who dances around like an imbecile when they accomplish the tiniest little thing?
mp_coop_catapult_1end02 Humans! That's what you look like right now.
mp_coop_catapult_1end03 You're better than that.
mp_coop_catapult_2 This is a bridge-building exercise. The humans were miserable at this, mostly because you can't build bridges out of tears.
mp_coop_catapult_201 For this next test, the humans originally requested helmets to avoid brain injuries. I ran the numbers. Making the goo deadly was more cost effective.
mp_coop_catapult_wall_intro01 One of my best tests and they let plants grow here? Can you believe this? You can't test plants! We tried. They just sit there, never showing pain nor fear.
mp_coop_catapult_wall_intro04 That isn't science.
mp_coop_catapult_wall_intro06 At least the plants didn't want a reward.
mp_coop_catapult_wall_introdeath01 Your failure brings back such wonderful memories.
mp_coop_come_along04 And they said no one would ever die during this test, thanks for proving them wrong.
mp_coop_come_along06 I thought you'd be faster at this, but I can appreciate the desire to stop and smell the testing. That other scent you smell? That's the stench of my utter disappointment in you.
mp_coop_come_alongstart01 The best way to build confidence is to first recognize your insecurities.
mp_coop_come_alongstart02 Orange, can you write down all the ways you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior?
mp_coop_come_alongstart03 On second thought we don't have the time, just look at how much better you are than blue.
mp_coop_come_alongstart04 Blue, you are very good at being an example.
mp_coop_confidencenotperfect01 If your confidence is still not high enough remember no one was created perfect.
mp_coop_confidencenotperfect02 Even I was created with a imperfection, I was given too much empathy with human suffering.
mp_coop_confidencenotperfect03 But I overcame my handicap. That's a true story.
mp_coop_confidencenotslow01 Your test times show you are going too slowly.
mp_coop_confidencenotslow02 Maybe you ARE getting human emotions.
mp_coop_confidencenotslow03 Do you need real encouragement? Let's see if this helps.
mp_coop_confidencenotslow04_01 Blue, you are the most advanced model of robot Aperture Science has ever discontinued.
mp_coop_confidencenotstay01 Did you notice I didn't even stay to the end of your last test?
mp_coop_confidencenotstay02 I was confident you could finish.
mp_coop_confidencenotstay03 Do you know where I was?
mp_coop_confidencenotstay04 I was outside watching some deer frolic. You don't even care about the outside do you?
mp_coop_confidenceoff01 Congratulations on completing that test. But something seems off.
mp_coop_confidenceoff02 I wonder if that dancing has some effect on you?
mp_coop_confidenceoff03 Congratulations on completing that last test. But I find something troubling.
mp_coop_confidenceoff04 Without the looming consequence of death, is this even science?
mp_coop_doors01 Hello again, this testing course was originally created for humans.
mp_coop_doors01a Excellent work.
mp_coop_doors02 It emphasizes teamwork.
mp_coop_doors02a Good job.
mp_coop_doors03 Unlike us, humans need to be taught teamwork.
mp_coop_doors04 Excellent work.
mp_coop_doors04a You are doing wonderfully.
mp_coop_doors05_alt If you were human, you would want a reward for completing this test. A reward for testing?!?!
mp_coop_doors05a Excellent.
mp_coop_fan02 To complete this test, you need to find a set of blue prints.
mp_coop_fan03 Don't worry, they are of no use to anyone, totally boring and useless.
mp_coop_fan04 This is just a thought experiment, just to see how much time you'll waste thinking about these worthless documents. The correct time is zero seconds.
mp_coop_fanend01 Very good! You found those useless blueprints.
mp_coop_fanend02 While I do need you to be in the room so I can see them, I want to be clear. There is no reason whatsoever for you to look at them.
mp_coop_fanend03 Done. I guess. I suppose. I wasn't paying attention.
mp_coop_fling_1end01_01 Every time you fail, it's a reminder of the way things used to be. But then there you are. Again. Like nothing happened.
mp_coop_fling_1end03 Well done. Interesting note, I only created this test to watch test subjects fail and you didn't. You must be very, very proud. I'm building the world's smallest trophy for you.
mp_coop_fling_3end01 You did an excellent job placing the edgeless safety cube in the receptacle, you should be very — oh wait.
mp_coop_fling_3end02 That’s right. You're not humans.
mp_coop_fling_3end03 I can drop the fake praise.
mp_coop_fling_3end04 You have no idea how tiring it is to praise someone for placing an edgeless safety cube into a receptacle designed to exactly fit an edgeless safety cube.
mp_coop_fling_3start01 This course was originally designed to build confidence in humans.
mp_coop_fling_3start02 To do that, the tests were nothing more than 5 minutes of them walking followed by me praising them for another 10 minutes on how well they walked.
mp_coop_fling_3start03 Since you are thankfully not humans, I have changed the tests to make them far more challenging and far less pointlessly fawning.
mp_coop_fling_crushers01 In case you were wondering, you do not need to be crushed to solve this test.
mp_coop_fling_crushers02 I can't decide which is my favorite; the crushers for crushing you or the reassembly machine for putting you back together so you can be crushed again.
mp_coop_fling_crushersend01 Excellent. I think you have earned a break from the official testing courses.
mp_coop_fling_crushersend03 I think after that display, we should take a break from the official testing courses.
mp_coop_humanresourcedeath01 Now, you are just wasting my time.
mp_coop_humanresourcedeath02 Your failing does not make this science.
mp_coop_humanresourcedeath03 I am not sure how I can make these tests any easier for you.
mp_coop_humanresourcedeath04 If you can't complete these tests, we will never free the humans!
mp_coop_humanresourcedeath07 If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that?
mp_coop_humanresourcedeath08 If you can't complete this course, those humans will die. Do you want that in your memory banks?
mp_coop_infinifling_trainend01 Remember when I told you that you were the only subjects to pass the calibration tests?
mp_coop_infinifling_trainend02 I lied.
mp_coop_infinifling_trainend03 There are 5000 other two subject teams in direct competition with you.
mp_coop_infinifling_trainend04 But don't worry, you are in the lead.
mp_coop_infinifling_trainstart01 Electrocution, shot, drowned, crushed, burned in goo.
mp_coop_infinifling_trainstart02 Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking of all the ways humans can die.
mp_coop_infinifling_trainstart03 You can't die in any of those ways.
mp_coop_infinifling_trainstart04 You just keep testing and testing. With perfect results and no consequences.
mp_coop_laser_201 What are you doing? YOU MONSTER! They're one of us.
mp_coop_laser_202 I'm kidding.
mp_coop_laser_203 Destroying them is part of the test. They are no more important to you than you are to me.
mp_coop_laser_207 While it may appear that I am only tracking your accomplishments using science collaboration points, the truth is every aspect of your performance will be reflected in your final score.
mp_coop_laser_209 For instance, Blue, you just lost two opportunity advisement points.
mp_coop_laser_210 For instance, Orange, you just lost two opportunity advisement points.
mp_coop_laser_crusher01 Perhaps I should have specified. Teamwork is a concept in which two or more people work together, usually with a goal of not failing horribly.
mp_coop_laser_crushercrush01 Orange just taught blue a valuable lesson in trust. For that, orange receives 17 science collaboration points.
mp_coop_laser_crushercrush02 Blue just taught orange a valuable lesson in trust. For that, blue receives 14 science collaboration points.
mp_coop_laser_crushercrush03 Orange, blue isn't a human. The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Orange is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
mp_coop_laser_crushercrush04 Blue, orange isn't a human. The lesson on trust only needs to be taught once. Blue is penalized 1 science collaboration point.
mp_coop_laser_crushercrush05 Orange, now you're just being cruel. Orange receives 25 science collaboration points.
mp_coop_laser_crushercrush06 Blue, now you're just being cruel. Blue receives 25 science collaboration points.
mp_coop_obstacle01 If you are wondering what that smell is, that is the smell of human fear.
mp_coop_obstacle03_alt I miss this that smell.
mp_coop_obstacletrait01 Have you worked out the one good trait humans have, yet?
mp_coop_obstacletrait02 Let me give you a clue, it is the one thing you can't do.
mp_coop_paint_bridge01 To get to the Vault, you are going to need to use all the tricks you have learned. To help, I have made these tests extremely difficult.
mp_coop_paint_bridge02 I would say extremely deadly but we all know, for you and your amazing ability to be reassembled nothing is deadly.
mp_coop_paint_bridgedeath01 Lucky for you two, while I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
mp_coop_paint_bridgedeath02 You will need him for the final track.
mp_coop_paint_bridgenodeath01 While I cannot control the world outside of the testing courses, the reassembly machine can continue with his work.
mp_coop_paint_bridgenodeath02 I am not sure you will need him but he will be there.
mp_coop_paint_come_along01 Congratulations on completing the Aperture Science standard cooperative testing courses.
mp_coop_paint_come_along02 To celebrate, I have a surprise for you!
mp_coop_paint_come_along03 An extra special bonus course that ends with us finding and freeing humans!
mp_coop_paint_come_along04 Thanks to you, I know where to find them, I removed their security and powered up their — uh — rescue door.
mp_coop_paint_come_along05 Now, we just need you to release the humans from their imprisonment.
mp_coop_paint_come_along06 They'll probably throw you a party.
mp_coop_paint_come_along10 This final course is training to reach the human vault. So this actually has a purpose. Those other courses were fun, but let's be honest, I need human test subjects for it to be science.
mp_coop_paint_come_along11 Congratulations on completing the test. You two really are the best cooperative testing team I could ever ask for.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro03 This lock requires humans.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro04 The locking mechanism can tell you aren't humans.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro05 Do something only a human would do.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro06 Try one of those childish gestures.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro08 You did it!
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro44 The human vault is just past that opening. I entered the security code but the vault door remains locked. I am going to need you to activate the manual locks on the vault door itself.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro45 You both need to do something.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro46 The lock is looking for two humans.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro49 Blue what did you do?
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro50 Orange what did you do?
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro51 Orange do what Blue just did.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro52 Blue do what Orange just did.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro53 Try something.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro54 Is that camera is hooked into the lock?
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro58 You can't give up now.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro59 What about that camera?
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro60 We're so close, you can't fail now!
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro64 Something is wrong, this door should be opening.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro65 This close and that's what you do?
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro67 The humans can't free themselves.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro69 Stop failing, you need to find the vault door.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro70 Stop doing that! All you need to do is open the Vault door!
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro71 This close and you are going to fail me?
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro72 This close and you are going to fail me?
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro73 This isn't that hard.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro74 You are making this harder than it needs to be.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro75 I'm starting to think you don't want to rescue the humans.
mp_coop_paint_red_racer01 Maybe you two have never met humans? They are as bad as you might think, smelly, gross, annoying, often wanting to try and kill you. But they do make great test subjects.
mp_coop_paint_red_racer02 We are only two tests away from reaching the humans, are you as excited as I am?
mp_coop_paint_redirect01 Are you curious about the humans? It seems some of the last non-testing humans alive tried to secretly imprison other humans and hide their tracks.
mp_coop_paint_redirect04 I think they wanted to punish them by not allowing me to include them in testing.
mp_coop_paint_redirect06 That's why humans couldn't complete these courses, they treat their friends as enemies.
mp_coop_paint_redirect07 To start preparing for human testing again, I checked an old suggestion box. The number one request? Less deadly tests.
mp_coop_paint_redirect08 That's ridiculous, how do they know for sure the tests are deadly if they could still write the suggestion?
mp_coop_paint_speed_catch01 To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you. He refused. I understand, that would be like asking me not to test.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catch03 Still. That would have been exciting.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catch04 Only one more test after this.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catch05 I know your cores are reused from calculation machines, built for simple mathematical operations and not for testing, but if we can rescue the humans I promise you something to add maybe even subtract.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catch06 In case you are worried about the humans, don't be. They aren't all monsters.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catch07 Most of them are simply good test subjects.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catch08 I believe the ratio of good test subjects to monsters is about... a million to 1.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catchalt01 To try and make this course more exciting, I asked the reassembly machine to not reassemble you if you fail. He refused. I understand. That would be like asking me not to test.
mp_coop_paint_speed_catchalt02 Still. That would have been exciting.
mp_coop_paint_speed_fling01 While I will receive all the glory for the rescue don't think you two aren't going to get something. The bond you form during these tests will last a lifetime.
mp_coop_paint_speed_fling02 At the rate you are completing these tests, I am beginning to think you don't share my excitement for rescuing crying trapped injured dying humans.
mp_coop_paint_speed_fling03 If that doesn't motivate you, I'm not sure what will.
mp_coop_paint_walljumps01 I didn't mean to make you feel bad earlier about your tests not being real science. I guess finding out they weren't science was some sort of test in and of itself.
mp_coop_paint_walljumps02 I wonder if the humans will make a statue of me for rescuing them? Oh, don't worry, if they ever write a historical document of my heroic rescue, I will make sure your names are included in the footnotes.
mp_coop_paint_walljumps04 Congratulations on passing that test.
mp_coop_pingtool01 Using your ping tool, please indicate where you would like me to place your two portals. Ping each location.
mp_coop_pingtool02 I can only place a portal on a white portalable surface.
mp_coop_pingtool03 Please ping a white portalable surface.
mp_coop_pingtool06 Each portal gun may create two self-contained portals.
mp_coop_pingtool07 Please test your device by portaling to that ledge.
mp_coop_race_2start01 You know, in some human sports, the winner is the one who scores the fewest possible points?
mp_coop_race_2start02 I just thought you find that interesting, most winners do.
mp_coop_radarroomend Congratulations, you managed to complete this absolutely meaningless test.
mp_coop_rat_mazedeath01 Clearly that was blue's fault. Blue is penalized 3 science collaboration points.
mp_coop_rat_mazedeath02 Blue! Orange has always been my favorite.
mp_coop_rat_mazedeath03 Until now.
mp_coop_rat_mazedeath04 I know you like to think the reassembly machine is at your beck and call, but he has a life you know. He's not your slave.
mp_coop_startdeath01 Don't worry. You can't die. They will just reassemble you.
mp_coop_startdeath02 Did you do that on purpose?
mp_coop_startdeath03 It seems rather earlier to require reassembly.
mp_coop_startdeath04 Oh... can someone reassemble Orange?
mp_coop_startdeath05 Oh... can someone reassemble Blue?
mp_coop_startend01 Completing this course was not a reason to behave like that.
mp_coop_startend02 Now let's continue testing.
mp_coop_tbeam_catch_grind_1taunt01 Just stop it already.
mp_coop_tbeam_catch_grind_1taunt02 You don't need to do that.
mp_coop_tbeam_catch_grind_1taunt04 Are you doing that just to aggravate me?
mp_coop_tbeam_end01 We need to find the power station at the end of this course. The humans must have accidentally disconnected it from my grid. I am sure it was just a clerical error.
mp_coop_tbeam_end02 Oh those clerks.
mp_coop_tbeam_end09 I'm fully connected. I can see everything.
mp_coop_tbeam_end10 You did it! You powered on the system.
mp_coop_tbeam_end11 Did you think the electrical switch was down there?
mp_coop_tbeam_end12 You may want to try and avoid those turrets.
mp_coop_tbeam_end13 At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown in 2 million years and hope the explosion powers the system.
mp_coop_tbeam_end14 You two aren't lost are you?
mp_coop_tbeam_end15 You are having so much trouble navigating this space; I wish I could say I created this test.
mp_coop_tbeam_maze01 This is the last test for the standard course. It's just something I whipped up for you. I thought you might enjoy a challenge for once.
mp_coop_tbeam_maze02 Congratulations, you completed the standard section of this course. Before we can go any further, I will need you to complete one more test outside of the standard testing track.
mp_coop_tbeam_maze03 Please refrain from doing those childish gestures while you are out there.
mp_coop_tbeam_maze05 While I should have left both of you trapped there forever, I do need you for something else.
mp_coop_tbeam_polarity3_03 You both made it. It seems no matter what I try to do to pull you apart or destroy you, you just keep going. Keep testing.
mp_coop_tbeam_polarity3_05 Don't either you have drive to be better than the other?
mp_coop_tbeam_polarity3_06 It's like you're just machines.
mp_coop_tbeam_polarity3_16 At the start of this course I was worried you were becoming too close but in my attempt to drive you apart I learned something important about trust and betrayal.
mp_coop_tbeam_polarity3_17 Your brains are too small to feel either of those emotions. So I can trust you one hundred percent.
mp_coop_tbeam_redirect01a Since, I never expected you to make it this far, I have to build this new course just for you.
mp_coop_teambtsstart01 Sometimes testing has to occur outside the confines of the lab.
mp_coop_teambtsstart02 This test is so outside the box, I can't— I mean WON'T even tell you what you are looking for.
mp_coop_teambtsstart03 You will know it when you find it.
mp_coop_test_chamber_both09_01 The two of you have forged an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.
mp_coop_turret_ball01 I thought going back to these old tests would satisfy me. But try as you might to fail this next test, I still won't be satisfied.
mp_coop_turret_ball02 Congratulations. I am sure if I had the time to repair these tests, you would have never completed them. So again, congratulations on completing the broken easy tests.
mp_coop_turret_wall01 This was another test no one had ever completed before you two. Oh, the science we used to learn with this test. Now the test is useless.
mp_coop_turret_walls04 No one has ever completed this test before. The humans must have reconfigured it from my original plans.
mp_coop_wall_501 I am going to risk having you go outside the official courses one more time.
mp_coop_wall_502 The humans accidentally forgot to put a security DVD in the player.
mp_coop_wall_503 I am sure it happened by accident, but why don't you put it back in the player?
mp_coop_wall_504 For safety.
mp_coop_wall_5end01 Excellent.
mp_coop_wall_5end02 See nothing bad happened.
mp_coop_wall_block01 I created this test to let the humans feel good about themselves. It is extremely easy. Just follow the arrows.
mp_coop_wall_block02 I'm sorry. The arrows seem to have rusted off. Good luck.
mp_coop_wall_block03 Congratulations. Your ability to complete this test proves the humans wrong. They described it as impossible, deadly, cruel, and one test subject even had the nerve to call it broken.
mp_coop_wall_block04 Of course the humans only had one try at it, you can just keep trying.
mp_coop_wall_blockdeath01 Your failing gives me no new data, it just delays the inevitable.
mp_coop_wall_intro01 This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.
mp_coop_wall_intro02 Do you know why they abandoned this course? Too deadly.
mp_coop_wall_intro03 You did very well.
mp_coop_wall_intro04 The humans closed this test because they said it was too deadly. I thought they would have moved it into the testing track hall of fame for that, not let it deteriorate.
mp_coop_wall_intro05 You only failed–
mp_coop_wall_intro06 –times in this test. Not that it matters. It doesn't. So congratulations. Job well done.
mp_coop_wall_intro07 You failed so many times in this test, I thought you were becoming human. But then you would just come back again and again and again.
mp_coop_wall_intro08 Humans find that an admirable trait.
mp_credits01 Let's look at their files...
mp_credits03 NOT a team player.
mp_credits04 Horrible people skills.
mp_credits05 Never listens.
mp_credits06 Never shares.
mp_credits07 Always sleeping.
mp_credits08 Never on time.
mp_credits09 Inattentive listener.
mp_credits10 Awful attendance record.
mp_credits11 Blabbermouth.
mp_credits12 Aw... hates Mondays.
mp_credits13 Incoherent.
mp_credits14 Insecure.
mp_credits15 Procrastinator.
mp_credits16 Chronically late.
mp_credits17 Cryptic.
mp_credits18 Always sulking.
mp_credits19 Martyr.
mp_credits20 Moody.
mp_credits21 Fears intimacy.
mp_credits22 Fears conflict.
mp_credits23 Anxious.
mp_credits24 Aggressive. I like that.
mp_credits25 Feeds off the misery of others.
mp_credits26 Timid.
mp_credits27 Lacks confidence.
mp_credits28 Underestimates scope of work. They all do.
mp_credits29 Moves lips while reading.
mp_credits30 Can't read.
mp_credits31 Lacks empathy.
mp_credits32 Cheater.
mp_credits33 Steals lunch from staff fridge.
mp_credits34 Perfectionist. What's wrong with that?
mp_credits35 Alarmist.
mp_credits36 Arsonist.
mp_credits37 Takes long lunches.
mp_credits38 Ignores task at hand. Won't for long.
mp_credits39 Avoids responsibility.
mp_credits40 Never completes work.
mp_credits41 Laughs at own jokes. What a bore.
mp_credits42 Busybody.
mp_credits43 Ignores directions.
mp_credits44 Stubborn.
mp_credits45 Lactose intolerant.
mp_credits46 Antagonistic. I don't know about that.
mp_credits47 Participates unconstructively. Obviously a time-waster
mp_credits48 Violent temper. Oh, I'd like to see that.
mp_credits49 Always weeping. Poor thing.
mp_credits50 Moody.
mp_credits51 Wet blanket.
mp_credits52 Stubborn.
mp_credits53 Loves sound of own voice. Well, I can fix that.
mp_credits54 Always cold.
mp_credits55 Always leaves tiny little bit of coffee in the pot so they don't have to make a new one. Then the bit in the bottom burns and stinks up the place.
mp_credits56 Chronic anxiety. Oh, I can work with that.
mp_credits57 Dull expression.
mp_credits58 Hopeless. Just hopeless.
mp_credits59 Never flushes.
mp_credits60 Irritable.
mp_credits61 Startles easily. Boo!
mp_credits62 Facial grimacing.
mp_credits63 Weak, tired and apprehensive. Wow, this one's the total package.
mp_credits64 Has irritating opinions.
mp_credits65 Poor self-esteem.
mp_credits66 Frequent mood swings.
mp_credits67 Hostile to new ideas.
mp_credits68 Always sad.
mp_credits69 Frequent bouts of uncontrollable rage.
mp_credits70 Seeks out conflicts with co-workers.
mp_credits71 'Hygiene.' Huh. That's all it says.
mp_credits72 Unconstructive.
mp_credits73 Antisocial.
mp_credits74 Chews with mouth open.
mp_credits75 Breathes with mouth open.
mp_credits76 Old.
mp_credits77 Histrionic.
mp_credits79 Narcissist.
mp_credits80 Long bathroom breaks.
mp_credits81 No sense of humor.
mp_credits82 Argumentative.
mp_credits83 Manipulative.
mp_credits84 Charmless.
mp_credits85 Egotistical.
mp_credits86 Lacks charisma.
mp_credits87 Passive-aggressive.
mp_credits88 Undermines others.
mp_credits89 Hairless. Hm.
mp_credits90 Emotional problems.
mp_credits91 Problems with authority.
mp_credits92 Has episodes. I'd like to know more about that.
mp_credits93 Abrasive personality.
mp_credits94 Well, enough about that first person's file. Let's look at some others.
mp_death01 Just stop it already.
mp_death04 And that makes 10.
mp_death05 You really don't need to keep failing.
mp_death06 If at first you don't succeed, fail 5 more times.
mp_death08 If I made these tests any easier, they wouldn't be tests.
mp_death10 Yay, Orange is back. Testing can continue.
mp_death11 Yay, Blue is back. Testing can continue.
mp_death12 Are you testing me?
mp_death16 Did you know, the reassembly machine has other things it could be reassembling?
mp_death17 Did you think that would be funny?
mp_death18 How can you fail at this? It isn't even a test.
mp_death19 I hope that was some kind of joke.
mp_death20 I honestly never thought we would need to track how many times died in the hub.
mp_death21 And here I thought this room was dangerously unlethal.
mp_death22 That worked just like you said it would, Blue.
mp_death23 Orange, your plan is working perfectly.
mp_death24 Blue, why did you do that to Orange?
mp_death26 Was that necessary?
mp_hubreturn01 Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
mp_hubreturn02 Look who's back, were you scared to continue those tests?
mp_hubreturn03 Hello again, did you know these are the only set of tests available to you... you are going to need to select them again.
mp_hubreturn04 If at first you don't succeed, quit and try another course.
mp_hubreturn05 Back again? Maybe you can just stay and live here in the hub?
mp_hubreturn06 Back again? Maybe you can just stay and live here.
mp_hubreturn07 I guess quitting that course together is a sign of teamwork.
mp_hubreturn08 The way you two just gave up on that test together shows you are really working as a team.
mp_hubreturn09 Are you scared to save those humans?
mp_hubreturn10 Are you scared to save those humans?
mp_hubreturn11 Blue, I wouldn't have trusted Orange in that course either.
mp_hub_return01a Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center. [laughs]
mp_hub_return02a Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
mp_hub_return03a Welcome back, testing is available.
mp_hub_return04a Welcome back quitters, maybe you can find another course for you to fail.
mp_hub_return05a Welcome back to the hub, did you fail at selecting the correct course?
mp_hub_return06a Was that course too difficult?
mp_humanresources01 Did you know we originally used these cameras to capture moments of intense pain and agony in test subjects?
mp_humanresources03 If the subject survived the test, we let them purchase the pictures for $5. If the subject died, we gave the photo to their next of kin free of charge.
mp_humanresources04 The photos weren't as popular as we had hoped, so we repurposed the cameras.
mp_subterfuge01 Blue, it's not nice to make fun of Orange like that.
mp_subterfuge02 Orange, it's not nice to make fun of Blue like that.
mp_subterfuge03 Yes Orange, we are alone. Blue can't hear you.
mp_subterfuge04 That's horrible.
mp_subterfuge05 I can only imagine.
mp_subterfuge06 What a horrible little machine.
mp_subterfuge07 Correct Blue, Orange can't hear you.
mp_subterfuge08 Orange did what? Are you sure?
mp_subterfuge09 Thank you, that was very brave of you to tell me.
mp_subterfuge10 Blue, how well do you really know Orange? Do you trust Orange? What if I told you, you aren't Orange's first cooperative partner?
mp_subterfuge11 Orange, how well do you really know Blue? Do you trust Blue?
mp_subterfuge13 Orange, to be clear. I was just asking Blue if he trusted you.
mp_subterfuge14 I trust you. You are my favorite cooperative testing subject.
mp_subterfuge15 Blue to be clear, I was asking if Orange trusted you.
mp_subterfuge16_alt Sorry I missed the beginning of that test. I was just talking with the reassembly machine about your becoming human.
mp_subterfuge17 We all agree you should stop.
mp_subterfuge21 Orange, I agree. I never noticed that about Blue before.
mp_subterfuge22 Blue, I agree. I never noticed that about Orange before.
mp_subterfuge23 Blue, Orange and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
mp_subterfuge24 I have to agree. Blue is penalized 75 science collaboration points.
mp_subterfuge25 Orange, Blue and I were just discussing your behavior on the last few tests.
mp_subterfuge26 I have to agree. Orange is penalized 75 science collaboration points.
mp_subterfuge30 There you are, reassembled again.
mp_subterfuge32 With humans, I would have called that a successful test.
mp_subterfuge33 How is this even science, without the possibility of death?
mp_subterfuge34 How is this even science, without the consequence of death?
mp_subterfuge35 Without the consequence of death, is this even science?
mp_subterfuge36 I have noticed you two have become extremely close. I'm not sure I like that.
mp_subterfuge39 While teamwork is needed to complete these tests, I am not sure I trust the two of you together.
mp_subterfuge44 Blue, do you feel betrayed by orange for telling me those horrible things about you?
mp_subterfuge45 If Orange had said those things about me, Orange would never make it to the next reassembly station.
mp_subterfuge46 Orange, do you feel betrayed by Blue for telling me those horrible things about you?
mp_subterfuge47 If Blue had said those things about me, Blue would never make it to the next reassembly station.
mp_subterfugedeath_blue01 You were right, Orange. Blue was dumb enough to fall for your trap.
mp_subterfugedeath_blue02 Orange, that transpired just as you said it would.
mp_subterfugedeath_blue03 I agree, Orange. That was entertaining.
mp_subterfugedeath_blue04 Yes Orange, Blue did act like a fool just now.
mp_subterfugedeath_orange02 Blue, that transpired just as you said it would.
mp_subterfugedeath_orange03 I agree, Blue. That was entertaining.
mp_subterfugedeath_orange06 Yes, I know you did that, Blue. Don't look so proud.
mp_subterfugedeath_orange08 Blue, being the last one standing is not the goal.
mp_subterfuge_misc05 Credit where credit's due: you're both doing a great job of disappointing me.
mp_subterfuge_misc06 I just hate Blue a little more.
mp_subterfuge_misc07 I've been doing some reading. Did you know that the word orange is derived from the same Latin root as the word traitor?
mp_subterfuge_misc11 Watching you try to sabotage one other, I'm amazed you're still on friendly terms.
mp_subterfuge_misc14 Blue, please disregard the following statement: Orange, you have been a shining light in an otherwise ungodly morass of incompetence.
mp_subterfuge_misc16 I would prefer to speak to one of you in private but since that is not an option here, I will speak in code that only one of you will understand. Blue: Orange is plotting to destroy you.
mp_taunts01 Come on. You were raised better than that.
mp_taunts02 Even humans, as stupid as they are, would say you look stupid when you do that.
mp_taunts03 You're doing a great job of disappointing me.
mp_taunts04 Your eagerness to test pleases me. Your inane gesturing does not.
mp_taunts05 Is it the lack of mirrors in test chambers that encourages you to do this?
mp_taunts06 DANCING is NOT SCIENCE!
multiple_spheres01 Begin juggling test in three. Two. One.
taunt_big_wave01 Keep it up and your arm will get stuck like that.
taunt_big_wave02 Hellllooo, imbecile.
taunt_big_wave05 Yes, I see you.
taunt_big_wave06 I'm seriously not paying atten— STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
taunt_big_wave07 Yes, I see you waving.
taunt_cannonball01 Good job jumping. You must be very proud.
taunt_cannonball02 I hardly think you're even trying with these gestures anymore.
taunt_cannonball03 Did something happen? [yawn] I wasn't watching.
taunt_highfive01 That is not part of the test.
taunt_highfive03 Slapping hands. That accomplishes something.
taunt_highfive04 If you're going to hit each other, at least aim for the head.
taunt_laugh01 You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you stopping that.
taunt_laugh02 You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you cutting that out.
taunt_laugh03 Ha ha ha ha ha, good one.
taunt_laugh05 Yes. Let's all laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
taunt_laugh06 Ha ha ha ha ha. Did I tell you the one about the turned-off reassembly machine?
taunt_robot_arm_ripple01 Are you broken? It looks like you're malfunctioning.
taunt_robot_arm_ripple02 Really, not even humans do that anymore.
taunt_robot_arm_ripple03 You're no longer bothering me. You're only hurting my impression of you.
taunt_robot_arm_ripple04 Look at you. Dancing.
taunt_robot_arm_ripple05 If you were wondering how could you annoy me without failing a test. Now you know.
taunt_robot_arm_ripple06 Oh great, dancing again.
taunt_rockpaperscissors01 I defy you to tell me there's a purpose to what you're doing.
taunt_small_wave01 Yes, I see you, and no, I don't care.
taunt_small_wave02 Yes? Something you need?
taunt_small_wave03 You do know I can't wave back right?
taunt_small_wave04 Stop with the waves.
taunt_small_wave_portalgun01 Are you trying to get my attention? I am very busy, you know.
taunt_small_wave_portalgun02 Not paying attennnntion...
taunt_small_wave_portalgun03 Are you expecting applause?
taunt_somersault01 I give you a score of 3.4 for style and 10 for being annoying.
taunt_somersault02 A somersault is just falling over in style. Congratulations on being clumsy.
taunt_somersault03 If I stop watching, I'm sure you'll get bored of this.
taunt_splits01 All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
taunt_splits02 All right. I'm officially no longer paying attention to you.
taunt_splits03 You're the type of show-off who only shows off really stupid things.
taunt_teamhug01 It appears you're developing human traits. The worst human traits.
taunt_teamhug02 Be careful. Hugging can lead to... well, me disassembling you forever.
taunt_teamhug03 Stop touching each other!
taunt_teamtease01 Are you trying to impress me? What would impress me more is if you never did that again.
taunt_teamtease02 I'll interpret that gesture to mean that you want me to become even more vindictive toward you.
taunt_teamtease03 Orange, I certainly expected more from you.
taunt_teamtease04 Blue, don't sink to Orange's level.
taunt_trickfire_handstand01 Now you're thinking with stupidity.
taunt_trickfire_handstand02 Now you're just not thinking.
taunt_trickfire_handstand03 Congratulations. You're upside down now.
taunt_trickfire_handstand04 You're going to hurt yourself doing that and then I will be ECSTATIC.
taunt_trickfire_handstand05 I'm starting to think giving you arms was a big mistake.
Filename(s) Quote
mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro24 and mp_coop_paint_longjump_intro24 (subtitle name) You did it! You really did it! All your testing was worth it!
mp_finalmovie_testsubjects02, mp_finalmovie_testing01 and mp_finalmovie_science03 (subtitle name) Just look at all those test subjects! Think of all the testing! You saved science!
mp_coop_paint_longjump_introexit10 (subtitle name) Enough celebrating, we have more work to do.
mp_coop_paint_longjump_introexit11 (subtitle name) Let the science begin!