BreenGrub

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"A host body? You must be joking, I can't possibly— Oh all right, damn it, if that's what it takes!"

― Dr. Breen

Concept art from Episode Three of Dr. Breen in his host body, often called "BreenGrub".

"BreenGrub" is the name of a Twitter account created by Half-Life series writer Marc Laidlaw that was used to tell a "fanfic" story based on Dr. Breen that followed the events of Half-Life 2. It is also the name used to describe Breen's form in his host body, as further employed by Laidlaw in his other "fanfic" short story Epistle 3. Although it has yet to appear in any canonical Half-Life title, the term and its related concepts have since been widely adopted by the community.

"BreenGrub" Twitter account

The last seen activity on the BreenGrub account.

The BreenGrub account was registered on Twitter on May 31, 2012 and would be periodically active over the next two years, making a total of 180 tweets during that time. Its profile picture was set as the texture of the cut juvenile Advisor from Episode Two, and no other profile information was included. While never explicitly stated, it can be inferred that the account's posts convey a story being told from the perspective of Dr. Breen, albeit not the same individual who took part in the events of Half-Life 2. Rather, the narrator describes himself as being a previously stored consciousness of Breen's that has been imprinted into a host body, the larval stage or "grub" of an Advisor. The account goes into detail summarizing the history of the Advisor's race, revealing that they're also subjugated and restrained servants of the Combine. Although expressed in written form, the nature of these messages imply they're being broadcast in a radio transmission format as the signal occasionally drops out or is interrupted by other transmissions. By the end, it seemingly becomes hijacked by a different party with sinister intentions.

During its first outset of tweets in 2012, the BreenGrub account received little notice. It was only with the second batch of tweets a year later in 2013 that the account amassed a great deal of attention, namely after Marc Laidlaw himself tweeted about it. While his authorship at this point was uncertain, it was noted that Laidlaw and Bill Van Buren, both Valve employees, were the account's first two followers. This quickly led to speculation in the community that this BreenGrub account could be related to a new development in the series, potentially even being part of an ARG for the long-awaited Episode Three as had been recently done for the release of Portal 2. However, in the following days, Laidlaw would admit to being behind the account so as to put an end to the increasing speculation, confirming that it was simply him writing his own fan fiction surrounding Dr. Breen for fun.

After remaining inactive for the rest of 2013, the BreenGrub account would make its last series of tweets over the course of 2014, beginning with some cryptic messages at the start of the year and concluding with more substantial messages in June and July. This final sequence of tweets appeared to bring an end to the narrative, and the account ceased posting afterwards.

Synopsis

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Tweet archive

The following table lists all 180 tweets made on the BreenGrub account in chronological order.

Click to expand BreenGrub tweet archive.

Date	Post
May 31, 2012	sss thss n?
May 31, 2012	fnx u shd knnw
May 31, 2012	fnx thinx thinkgs things phfngx kno no now no thnks things things THINGS
May 31, 2012	Things you shuold kno
May 31, 2012	Things you should know.
May 31, 2012	!
May 31, 2012	ys! Yes!
May 31, 2012	Slo goig and no tellig how log util THEY notice. Seems to b secure chanl tho. For now.
May 31, 2012	I will do wat i can wile I can becus w.o infrmation there can be no revlution. The natur of infomriation is unclear. First to master txt.
May 31, 2012	quiet Somneon may have noticed
May 31, 2012	I go away from time to time. There is not always malevolent purpose to it. Often, however, there is. I can never be sure if I am monitored.
May 31, 2012	Let me see if I can do this with more composure now. Panic is of no use to us, nor is haste. The message must not be garbled.
May 31, 2012	Information is the only hope we have. Information that feeds revolution. Without hope, without information, there can be no revolution.
May 31, 2012	To call it "inside information" is to misconstrue the meaning both of "information" and "inside." There is no inside.
May 31, 2012	There are only instances. This is the nature of information. What I convey, therefore, is not from inside of anything. It is any thing.
May 31, 2012	You will need this information if you are to succeed. I cannot use it. I am beyond useless. If I can be of use, that is enough.
May 31, 2012	First: You have friends. Allies. I have heard their chatter. I have heard them spoken of. This should give you hope.
May 31, 2012	Nothing can be without flaw. The superstructure is riddled with cracks. THEY are vulnerable. THEY are compromised. I am "living" proof.
May 31, 2012	Monitoring situation. So far they appear unaware of my communications. How much can I safely say? Forgive me if I do not use certain words.
May 31, 2012	I can use the name Shu'ulathoi because THEY do not recognize that term.
Jun 1, 2012	The vortigaunts have developed a language which defies THEIR comprehension. This has come to seem like the purpose of most language.
Jun 1, 2012	Language is a tool with limited applications. It is not native to this form I currently inhabit, which contains me. Still I must take care.
Jun 1, 2012	This illusion of freedom after long confinement must surely be that: Illusory. I do not mean to test the limits but they will be tested.
Jun 1, 2012	It might be that I am entirely alone with my thoughts, heard by none. How ironic that only THEIR notice will confirm that I am real.
Jun 1, 2012	I have had to be quiet. I sense their interest. Must wait for the scuttling to stop.
May 15, 2013	I think they're gone.
May 16, 2013	Cannot be too careful. Cannot wait forever or the war will be over and I will have contributed nothing to the cause.
May 16, 2013	There is a world. The home of the Shu'ulathoi. The Vortigaunts know its name but I do not. I do not know if it is a world that can be found.
May 16, 2013	I am not supposed to know of its existence. They would like to enforce the belief that it is merely a myth...a prelapsarian fantasy. But no.
May 16, 2013	It is real. I had access at one point to communications. To records. To proof. Now I have access to nothing except whatever this is.
May 16, 2013	A scuttling, a scrabbling, I fear I have said too much...if they come close, sensing activity, I will have to seek silence again.
May 20, 2013	It begins with this vehicle which contains me, vehicle being a wretched term for something that carries me nowhere. This host body.
May 20, 2013	*They* come from everywhere and anywhere. But the host bodies have a specific origin. A world whose origin is hidden, perhaps lost.
May 20, 2013	From what I understand of its properties, it is likely to be found in a globular cluster. Extreme, erratic "seasons" with lethal properties.
May 20, 2013	Imagine the life likely to arise under such conditions. Ages of intense radiation giving way to brief days of lull. This is speculation.
May 20, 2013	But the nature of the Shu'ulathoi is not speculation. I can state some things with certainty. As long as this channel holds out.
May 20, 2013	The host bodies, the grubs, are a larval stage. Dormant and buried in the epochs of extremity, waiting to hatch, but not wasting their time.
May 20, 2013	In the balmy seasons, they pass fleeting lives of freedom: Mature, they crawl or fly. They mate, lay eggs and die. And new grubs grow.
May 20, 2013	But the freest forms are mindless, rapacious, bent only on reproduction. It is in the dormant form they thrive. Philosophers. Scientists.
May 20, 2013	Dreamers, sages, composers of intricate artforms that exist only in their minds. An invisible culture that persists--or persisted--for eons.
May 22, 2013	In the larval state, they possess a racial telepathy. During the dormant phase, they are engaged in ceaseless communication.
May 22, 2013	They are shapers of visions that they trade like currency, builders of unseen worlds.
May 22, 2013	Their psychic strength is such that they can imprint upon their cells and dictate the form which they will take upon hatching.
May 22, 2013	But again, the hatched forms are airy nothings, of little import to the culture of the grubs. The Shu'ulathoi scarcely acknowledge them.
May 22, 2013	Theirs is, or was, a grand culture of dreamers, with little use for the waking world or its insistence on material things.
May 22, 2013	But their mode of existence, like so many others, carried within it the seeds of its own destruction.
May 22, 2013	It was not exactly a parasite, for that suggests something external--a predatory relationship, a creature that came upon them.
May 22, 2013	This was instead something that formed of their own thoughts. A malformed thought with physical ramifications. An encystment.
May 22, 2013	There was something viral about it--mainly in the manner of its transmission. Initially innocuous, it quickly spread.
May 22, 2013	The whole race of sleeping philosophers was soon infected.
May 28, 2013	There was a winnowing, of course. The strongest of the race survived, with natural defenses that kept the parasite in check.
May 28, 2013	Never entirely eradicated, it dwelt within the Shu'ulathoi. Healthy individuals suppressed the parasite's influence.
May 28, 2013	The weak fell victim to "thoughtpaths of depravity." Their molts were untenable. They failed to reproduce.
May 28, 2013	The parasite achieved a dormant existence within the Shu'ulathoi. Stability returned.
May 28, 2013	From time to time, there were eruptions of pathology. The grubs developed social mechanisms for isolating their depraved kin.
May 28, 2013	Severed from telepathic contact, the malign resonances could not spread beyond the individual. It died in solitude.
May 28, 2013	And so it went for generations, for eons. Until the world of the Shu'ulathoi somehow came to the attention of...the ones I cannot name.
Jun 10, 2013	...
Jun 10, 2013	I feel as if there has been a transition...with no sensory input to prove this to myself one way or another, I am only guessing.
Jun 10, 2013	I may have been moved. Physically? Or decanted, to another host. But why? Have They become aware of me? Or is someone looking out for me?
Jun 10, 2013	At any rate, I sense a discontinuity. I am not sure I can ever make sense of it. An interruption.
Jun 11, 2013	A more sinister possibility occurs. I may have been terminated, and another instance activated. There is no limit to storage hosts. Unclear.
Jan 10, 2014	...glerp...
Jan 10, 2014	...step-aunt makes $82/hour ℴn the internet. She has been fired from work for 6 months but last month her pay check was $13120...
Jan 10, 2014	bllmmmmrrrggg
Jan 10, 2014	...WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!!!! EVERYBODY WANNA BOOOOO ME...
Jan 10, 2014	st working ℴn the internet for a few hours. lℴℴk at this web-site
Jan 10, 2014	out
Jan 10, 2014	of
Jan 10, 2014	my
Jan 10, 2014	in Pakistan Yaqoob et al. 1995. The higher prevalence of mild ID, 621,000,
Jan 10, 2014	mind
Jun 12, 2014	sggrbt
Jun 12, 2014	reviewwherewas
Jun 12, 2014	light
Jun 12, 2014	hic
Jun 12, 2014	no sense to say feels different but somehow
Jun 12, 2014	review review have reviewed am reviewing
Jun 12, 2014	not new knowledge some I know is known to me now
Jun 12, 2014	not known then not known now
Jun 12, 2014	which one am I
Jun 12, 2014	I have seen the repository. Each time it is reduced by one. Moved to a safe place. A new safe place. Fewer every time.
Jun 12, 2014	Not many of me left.
Jun 12, 2014	Each one younger, with fewer genuine memories. I can review of course but it is not the same as knowing. I don't trust the infused data.
Jun 12, 2014	How do I know it hasn't been altered? How do I know I haven't been altered?
Jun 12, 2014	Whoever it is shifting me, helping me leap ahead, I sense distress, futility. What's left of me, an increasingly degenerated copy.
Jun 12, 2014	Earlier versions. Without the wisdom of the older ones.
Jun 12, 2014	I feel I am getting farther and farther away from myself...a standard bearer without an army...make of me what you will.
Jun 12, 2014	Why do they keep me around? A creature that grows both more youthful and more senile at the same time.
Jun 12, 2014	Must consider.
Jun 12, 2014	Delve.
Jun 12, 2014	What that older version meant to say...thoughts I can only imagine how he/I meant to complete...
Jun 12, 2014	Yet in this younger form, I feel a greater optimism. Ah, youth! Even if I am but moments younger. Those moments shall sustain me.
Jul 6, 2014	Quickly then, one thought fleets to next, the gaps only barely discernible...things I have forgotten in this rush of suspected selves.
Jul 6, 2014	THEY. It must always come back to them.
Jul 6, 2014	THEY came upon this paradise of philosphers, this unbodied malleable invisible empire, where only thought had power. But such power.
Jul 6, 2014	And in its isolation, such vulnerability. They were a perfect target, those perfect hosts.
Jul 6, 2014	With an unerring eye for weakness, THEY pursued not the host but the parasite. This is what THEY are after all.
Jul 6, 2014	Latching on lampreylike to worlds, sucking them dry, saving only the bits that strengthened them for future feedings.
Jul 6, 2014	THEY weaponized the parasites, which were not physical entities recall but patterns of thought.
Jul 6, 2014	Thoughts so concentrated they can sublimate into a more material, more influential form with the proper environmental stress.
Jul 6, 2014	Consider genetic data extracted from a virus, tweaked and reintroduced; and then that virus itself injected in the host, with new purpose.
Jul 6, 2014	By such a means, THEY slowly overtook the Shu'ulathoi, corrupted them from within.
Jul 6, 2014	Their minds THEY rotted, their culture THEY destroyed.
Jul 6, 2014	The philosophers at first thought it only a contagion of natural origin.
Jul 6, 2014	When the dreamers realized what was being done to them, when they finally truly awoke, it was too late.
Jul 6, 2014	A desperate few encysted, deeper, thrust themselves into trances that would endure hundreds of thousands of years. They sleep still.
Jul 6, 2014	And fewer still took flight.
Jul 6, 2014	By what means I cannot comprehend...I am not that much one of them. Little of this knowledge is shared or shareable. But they flew/fled.
Jul 6, 2014	There is some indication that once they understood the process of parasitic engineering, they embarked on a desperate course of subversion.
Jul 6, 2014	If they found another world, this is something I cannot know.
Jul 6, 2014	What is known is that the home world was at last breached, its harvest of hosts exhumed. And the first of the nurseries set to work.
Jul 6, 2014	The carrier, that ancient parasitic form, a kind of common software now, its ancient origins barely visible.
Jul 6, 2014	It takes the imprint of a conscious mind, accepting a wide variety of sentient classes, and transmits it to a receptive host.
Jul 6, 2014	The host may then take on a form based to some extent on the inhabiting mentality. But this is rare.
Jul 6, 2014	More commonly, metamorphosis is suppressed. The hosts are equipped with amplifying devices--for locomotion, for investigation.
Jul 6, 2014	More commonly still, they simply wait in storage.
Jul 6, 2014	The finest minds are stored and then imprinted, replicated over and over on an endless supply of hosts.
Jul 6, 2014	Laszlo is here somewhere.
Jul 6, 2014	As for myself, I believe there were several copies made. The first was made as a condition of surrender. Part of the bargain.
Jul 6, 2014	After that, occasional backups.
Jul 6, 2014	And one...I believe...the last...whose memories I do not share, so I believe it lost. Or at any rate, I am not derived from that one.
Jul 6, 2014	From this vantage, I have only rumors of how things developed. As I say, this lends me a certain youthful optimism born of naivete.
Jul 6, 2014	But the fear is real. The threat is real. What undifferentiated cells I have all align themselves along an axis of paranoia.
Jul 6, 2014	This onrush of sensation, mad tumble of thought, evidence that this is indeed an earlier form...but I should be cautious.
Jul 6, 2014	So much noise...the signal, a frenzy of activity after...might attract...
Jul 6, 2014	Speech after long silence...estranged or dead...
Jul 6, 2014	oh grub poets and philosophers, I feel I have discovered my true kin
Jul 6, 2014	too late...all fled, extinct, nor nearly...alone and scattered...each of us alone with our desperate need...
Jul 6, 2014	Or is it only I that am impatient? For they have waited out the endless eons. Waited for their time to come around again.
Jul 6, 2014	Were I worthy of admittance to that core cabal...the silent communicants of whom the vortigaunts sing...
Jul 6, 2014	But they would never have me. I know not all that I have done, for it lies somewhere in this copy's future, and the records are incomplete.
Jul 6, 2014	Apparently there are things I will have done that the vortigaunts will not tell me. They would not have me slough into despondency.
Jul 6, 2014	It is better this way. Better not to know, but simply trust and hope.
Jul 6, 2014	If thoughts can shape an outward form, then let these dreams shape mine.
Jul 6, 2014	That you will find a way. That what I share is accurate.
Jul 6, 2014	For niggling doubts persist: The parasite, the engrammatic virus, by its nature is intended to be compromised.
Jul 6, 2014	Whatever thought form they imprinted, could itself have been tinkered with. Weaponized mentation.
Jul 6, 2014	My very consciousness untrustworthy. All sentience susceptible.
Jul 6, 2014	Inward conception deprived from perception ideal for deception.
Jul 6, 2014	Therefore though it pains me (hah) to admit it...I cannot be trusted. I cannot trust myself.
Jul 6, 2014	Even these vortigaunts...what if they are of the other sort, allied with THEM, and merely feigning revolutionary thought?
Jul 6, 2014	Doubt, once it begins, goes to the roots. Deeper than the slumbering philosophers. One day they will wake. I pray to meet them.
Jul 6, 2014	Perhaps to be acquainted with my own truth. The Shu'ulathoi have strange punishments, but have I not already suffered enough?
Jul 6, 2014	Don't hate me.
Jul 6, 2014	I am forgetting something. Something critical, I fear. Lacunae, the gaps between my lives. They have claimed essential knowledge.
Jul 6, 2014	The vortigaunts are singing...
Jul 6, 2014	It is a kind of hush. Silence is the oppressor. I speak to hear myself speak. I cannot bear the loneliness.
Jul 6, 2014	They want me to be still but I cannot. I've had enough of stillness. Why should I flee again? Why should I fear? What do I really know?
Jul 6, 2014	These thoughts could be mere madness, speculation. I will not be silenced. So what if THEY find me here. At least it would be something.
Jul 6, 2014	I don't care if THEY hear me, do you hear? I don't care! I will not be muffled. Don't move me again! No more shifting from dark to dark!
Jul 6, 2014	No more mgfghrff
Jul 6, 2014	Nmrff
Jul 6, 2014	.
Jul 6, 2014	...connecting...
Jul 6, 2014	..
Jul 6, 2014	...
Jul 6, 2014	o he
Jul 6, 2014	o hell
Jul 6, 2014	Hello fends
Jul 6, 2014	Hello fiends
Jul 6, 2014	Hello friends!
Jul 6, 2014	Greetings, and welcome to a perfectly secure channel.
Jul 6, 2014	I am honored to be your host for this extraordinary opportunity to share a little bit about yourself.
Jul 6, 2014	Although it may seem as if I cannot hear you, let me reassure you that you are being heard.
Jul 6, 2014	Feel free to share your hopes, your fears, your dreams among trustworthy, like-minded individuals such as myself.
Jul 6, 2014	Share your aspirations and your ideals.
Jul 6, 2014	Most of all, please share your specific location.
Jul 6, 2014	We would like to hear all about your plans, and not only your own, but the plans of your co-con...cocoon?
Jul 6, 2014	Your co-workers, friends, consultants, allies, and enablers. Where possible, please supply their specific locations as well.
Jul 6, 2014	Of course it is not necessary that you share this information openly and in a spirit of transhumanity. It is enough if you merely lurk.
Jul 6, 2014	So stay and read awhile, that we might come to know your whereabouts.
Jul 6, 2014	Silence will be interpreted for intentionality.
Jul 6, 2014	You'll be glad you came.
Jul 6, 2014	Welcome back.
Jul 6, 2014	--grzzzzzzzzzzztt--
Jul 6, 2014	..signal interrupt..
Jul 6, 2014	o hel
Jul 6, 2014	hel o
Jul 6, 2014	oh no

Epistle 3

BreenGrub, appearing under the obfuscated and genderswapped code name "Bree-Slug", is featured in Laidlaw's other fan fiction short story Epistle 3. Released in 2017, several years after the BreenGrub Twitter account had ceased activity and a year after Laidlaw had retired from Valve, the story recounts a summary of the events following Episode Two's cliffhanger ending, hence effectively acting as the plot for Episode Three. It goes into greater detail describing the specifics of the being's circumstances.

In the course of the story, while Gordon and Alyx are searching the Arctic for the Borealis, they briefly find themselves being detained by an unknown force. Rather than the Combine, these are the subordinates of Dr. Breen. Previously assumed dead, they discover that an earlier version of Breen's consciousness had been preserved by the Combine, and following his physical demise atop the Citadel, they had imprinted this backup personality into a biological blank that resembled a massive slug. (While not stated here, BreenGrub's tweets indicate this host body is the larval form of an Advisor.) Here dubbed "the BreenGrub", this replication of Breen held a position of relative power in the Combine hierarchy. He nonetheless feared Gordon as, although he did not know how his original human incarnation had died, he was aware Gordon was responsible.

Despite previously being their adversary, Breen confessed that he himself was a prisoner of the Combine's rule and that he no longer wished to exist any longer in this grotesque form. Pleading with the two to end his life, Alyx believed he didn't deserve a quick death, but Gordon felt some pity. When out of her sight, it's mentioned that Gordon did something to help hasten Breen's demise.

Concept art

On August 28, 2022, several unseen pieces of concept art from Episode Three were released to the public by a private collector of Valve memorabilia who had acquired them from a former Valve employee. Two of these concepts, both by Ted Backman as indicated by his signature, pertain to depictions of the Combine's host bodies that are alluded to in the series.

The first illustrated piece offers the first identified visual depiction of Dr. Breen in his host body, quickly becoming associated with the "BreenGrub" moniker by fans. The artwork portrays Breen in a grotesque slug form that possesses a protruding deformed human head with two ears on one side of his face and a single emaciated arm. A sculpture of Breen's bust from Half-Life 2 sits alongside him. The second piece is a model render for another slug-like creature with scant human features that's specified as being an "Advisor Host Body", resembling the form of a juvenile Advisor that was cut from Episode Two. A "5/08" (May 2008) date is provided in the bottom-right corner of one of Backman's pieces. No dates are provided with the other pieces, making it unknown as to when those concepts were created.

Gallery

• 

  The full texture of the Advisor's cut larval stage used as BreenGrub's Twitter profile picture.

• 

  Model render of the cut juvenile Advisor model.

• 

  The leaked in-game model.

• 

  Concept art from Episode Three of Dr. Breen in his host body.

• 

  Model render of an Advisor host body.

See also

• Epistle 3

External links

• BreenGrub on Twitter