Aperture Science Personality Construct/Quotes

	This is a quote article.
	This article is a transcript of all of the quotes from a given character or entity. Unless noted otherwise, these transcripts are sourced directly from the official scripts, closed captions, or internal text data with only minimal modifications for typos and formatting purposes.

The following is a list of quotes from the Aperture Science Personality Constructs.

Portal

Curiosity Core

Location: sound/vo/aperture_ai

Filename(s)	Quote	Play
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-01 to escape_02_sphere_curiosity-17 (minus 15 and 18)	Who are you? What is that? Oh, what's that? What's that? What is THAT? Ooh, that thing has numbers on it! Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing. Ewww, what's wrong with your legs? Where are we going? Are you coming back? Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi! What's that noise? Is that a gun? Where are we going? Oh, what's in here?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-01	Who are you?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-02	What is that?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-03	Oh, what's that?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-04	What's that?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-05	What is THAT?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-06	Ooh, that thing has numbers on it!
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-07	Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing.
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-08	Ewww, what's wrong with your legs?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-09	Where are we going?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-10	Are you coming back?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-11	Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi!
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-12	What's that noise?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-13	Is that a gun?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-16	Where are we going?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-17	Oh, what's in here?
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-15	Do you smell something burning?
escape_02_sphere_death_scream	*SCREAM* (Also used for the Anger Core)
escape_02_sphere_curiosity-18	[DEATH SCREAM] (Unused)

Cake Core

Location: sound/vo/aperture_ai

Filename(s)	Quote	Play
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-01	One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-02	One can prepared coconut pecan frosting.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-03	Three slash four cup vegetable oil.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-04	Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-05	Three slash four cups butter or margarine.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-06	One and two third cups granulated sugar.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-07	Two cups all purpose flower.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-08	Don't forget garnishes such as:
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-09	Fish shaped crackers.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-10	Fish shaped candies.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-11	Fish shaped solid waste.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-12	Fish shaped dirt.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-13	Fish shaped ethyl benzene.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-14	Pull and peel licorice.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-15	Fish shaped organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-16	Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-17	One cup lemon juice.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-18	Alpha resins.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-19	Unsaturated polyester resin.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-20	Fiberglass surface resins.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-21	And volatile malted milk impoundments.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-22	Nine large egg yolks.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-23	Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-24	One cup granulated sugar.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-25	An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands.'
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-26	Two cups rhubarb, sliced.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-27	Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-28	One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-29	One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-30	Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-31	One large rhubarb.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-32	One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-33	Two tablespoons rhubarb juice.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-34	Adjustable aluminum head positioner.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-35	Slaughter electric needle injector.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-36	Cordless electric needle injector.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-37	Injector needle driver.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-38	Injector needle gun.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-39	Cranial caps.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-40	And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals.
escape_02_sphere_cakemix-41	That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

Anger Core

Location: sound/vo/aperture_ai

Filename(s)	Quote	Play
escape_02_sphere_anger-00	*PANT* (Unused)
escape_02_sphere_anger-01	*SNARL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-02	*GNASH*
escape_02_sphere_anger-03	*GROWL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-04	*GROWL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-05	*HISS*
escape_02_sphere_anger-06	*SNORT*
escape_02_sphere_anger-07	*GROWL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-08	*GROWL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-09	*GROWL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-10	*HISS*
escape_02_sphere_anger-11	*GROWL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-12	*HISS*
escape_02_sphere_anger-13	*GRUNT*
escape_02_sphere_anger-14	*ROAR*
escape_02_sphere_anger-15	*ROAR*
escape_02_sphere_anger-16	*HISS*
escape_02_sphere_anger-17	*HISS*
escape_02_sphere_anger-18	*HISS*
escape_02_sphere_anger-19	*GROWL*
escape_02_sphere_anger-20	*ROAR*
escape_02_sphere_anger-21	*ROAR*
escape_02_sphere_anger-near_fire01	*YIPE*
escape_02_sphere_anger-near_fire02	*GROAN* (Unused)
escape_02_sphere_death_scream	*SCREAM* (Also used for the Curiosity Core)

Party Escort Bot

Location: sound/vo/npc

Filename(s)	Quote	Play
partyescort	Thank you for assuming the party escort submission position.

Portal 2

Space Core

Location: sound/vo/core01

Filename(s)	Quote	Play
babble05	What's your favorite thing about space? Mine is space.
babble11	Space going to space can't wait.
babble14	Space...
babble16	Space. Trial. Puttin' the system on trial. In space. Space system. On trial. Guilty. Of being in space! Going to space jail!
babble19	Dad! I'm in space! [low-pitched 'space' voice] I'm proud of you, son. [normal voice] Dad, are you space? [low-pitched 'space' voice] Yes. Now we are a family again.
babble20	Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space.
babble21	Space space wanna go to space
babble22	Space space going to space oh boy
babble24	Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space! Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba!
babble28	Oh. Play it cool. Play it cool. Here come the space cops.
babble29	Help me, space cops. Space cops, help.
babble31	Going to space going there can't wait gotta go. Space. Going.
babble33	Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space.
babble35	Space. Space.
babble36	I'm going to space.
babble37	Oh boy.
babble40	Yeah yeah yeah okay okay.
babble42	Space. Space. Gonna go to space.
babble43	Space. Space. Go to space.
babble44	Yes. Please. Space.
babble45	Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
babble46	Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!
babble47	Gonna be in space.
babble48	Space.
babble49	Space.
babble50	Ohhhh, space.
babble51	Wanna go to space. Space.
babble52	[humming]
babble53	Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space.
babble54	I love space. Love space.
babble57	Atmosphere. Black holes. Astronauts. Nebulas. Jupiter. The Big Dipper.
babble58	Orbit. Space orbit. In my spacesuit.
babble59	Space...
babble60	Ohhh, the Sun. I'm gonna meet the Sun. Oh no! What'll I say? 'Hi! Hi, Sun!' Oh, boy!
babble61	Look, an eclipse! No. Don't look.
babble62	Come here, space. I have a secret for you. No, come closer.
babble67	Space space wanna go to space
babble68	Wanna go to—wanna go to space
babble70	Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space
babble71	I'm going to space.
babble73	Space!
babble83	Space!
babble88	Hey hey hey hey hey!
babble89	Hey.
babble90	Hey.
babble91	Hey.
babble92	Hey.
babble93	Hey.
babble94	Hey lady.
babble95	Lady.
babble98	Space!
babble99	Lady.
babble100	Space.
babble102	Gotta go to space. Lady. Lady.
babble105	Oo. Oo. Oo. Lady. Oo. Lady. Oo. Let's go to space.
babbleb01	Oh I know! I know I know I know I know I know - let's go to space!
babbleb02	Oooh! Ooh! Hi hi hi hi hi. Where we going? Where we going? Hey. Lady. Where we going? Where we going? Let's go to space!
babbleb03	Lady. I love space. I know! Spell it! S P... AACE. Space. Space.
babbleb04	I love space.
babbleb05	Hey lady. Lady. I'm the best. I'm the best at space.
babbleb06	Oh oh oh oh. Wait wait. Wait I know. I know. I know wait. Space.
babbleb07	Wait wait wait wait. I know I know I know. Lady wait. Wait. I know. Wait. Space.
babbleb08	Gotta go to space.
babbleb09	Gonna be in space.
babbleb10	Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space.
babbleb11	Space. Space. Space. Space. Comets. Stars. Galaxies. Orion.
babbleb12	Are we in space yet? What's the hold-up? Gotta go to space. Gotta go to SPACE.
babbleb13	Going to space.
babbleb14	Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space.
babbleb15	Love space. Need to go to space.
babbleb16	Space space space. Going. Going there. Okay. I love you, space.
babbleb17	Space.
babbleb18	So much space. Need to see it all.
babbleb19	You are the farthest ever in space. Why me, space? Because you are the best. I'm the best at space? Yes.
babbleb20	Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
babbleb21	Please go to space.
babbleb22	Space.
babbleb23	Wanna go to space.
babbleb24	(excited gasps)
babbleb25	Gotta go to space. Yeah. Gotta go to space.
babbleb26	Hmmm. Hmmmmmm. Hmm. Hmmmmm. Space!
babbleb30	Hey lady.
babbleb31	Hey.
babbleb32	Lady.
babbleb33	Hey lady. Lady.
babbleb34	Hey.
babbleb35	Lady.
space01	Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!
space02	Space? SPACE!
space03	I'm in space.
space04	I'm in space.
space05	Where am I? Guess. Guess guess guess. I'm in space.
space06	There's a star. There's another one. Star. Star star star. Star.
space07	Getting bored of space.
space08	Bam! Bam bam bam! Take that, space.
space09	Are we in space?
space10	We are?
space11	Oh oh oh. This is space! I'm in space!
space12	We made it we made it we made it. Space!
space13	Earth.
space14	Wanna go to earth.
space15	Wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth. Wanna go to earth.
space16	Wanna go home.
space17	Wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home.
space18	Earth earth earth.
space19	Don't like space. Don't like space.
space20	It's too big. Too big. Wanna go home. Wanna go to earth.
space21	SPAAACCCCCE!
space22	SPAAACE!
space23	YEEEHAAAAAW!
space24	Ah!

Adventure Core (Rick)

Location: sound/vo/core03

Filename(s)	Quote	Play
babble01	QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure?
babble02	QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hello angel. I guess I must have died and gone to heaven. Name's Rick. So, you out having yourself a little adventure?
babble03	What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control? You know, because, looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
babble04	Hey, a countdown clock! Man, that is trouble. Situation's looking pretty ugly. For such a beautiful woman. If you don't mind me saying.
babble05	I don't want to scare you, but, I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll just take it from here.
babble06	Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy.
babble07	Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you.
babble08	Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here.
babble09	Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this.
babble10	I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom.
babble11	I am a coiled spring right now. Tension and power. Just... I'm a muscle. Like a big arm muscle, punching through a brick wall, and it's hitting the wall so hard the arm is catching on fire. Oh yeah.
babble12	I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way.
babble13	Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction.
babble14	All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction.
babble15	All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral.
babble16	Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?
babble17	How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife.
babble18	No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points.
babble19	So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around.
babble20	Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy.
babble21	'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?
babble22	All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up.
babble23	Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age.
babble24	Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into space.
babble25	Don't forget! Thorn! Side!
babble26	'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Man, that sounded a whole lot better in my head.
babble27	'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!
babble28	Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire...
babble29	Did you hear that? I think something just exploded. Man, we are in a lot of danger. This is like Christmas. No, it's better than Christmas. This should be its own holiday. Explosion Day!
babble30	Happy Explosion Day, gorgeous.
encouragement01	Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples.
encouragement02	Yeah! Nice!
encouragement03	You messed with the wrong woman!
encouragement04	Yeah! How'd you like that?
encouragement05	How's that taste, pal?
encouragement06	Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!
encouragement07	Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science.
encouragement08	You're doing great!
encouragement09	Come on, sweetie! He's got a glass jaw! He's got a glass everything! This guy's a china cabinet!
encouragement10	This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!
encouragement11	Get dirty with this robot! This robot owes you money! This robot owes! You! Money!
encouragement12	Shake it off! Shake it off!
encouragement13	Here, let me put on some adventure music.
factapplicable01	Pfff. I guess.
factapplicable02	Pff. Whatever.
factresponse01	Oh, shut up!
factresponse02	Nobody cares, four eyes.
factresponse03	If you had underwear? And a butt? I would pull your underwear... right up your butt.
factresponse04	Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode.
factresponse05	You know who found that interesting? Nobody. That didn't affect anybody's life in any way whatsoever. Life would be exactly the same if you hadn't said anything.
factresponse06	You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care.
factresponse07	Say one useful thing. One. I dare you. I will give you a hundred dollars if you say one thing remotely applicable to anything at all.
singing01	Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-DUN! DUN DUN! Dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-DUN! DUN DUN! nananaDUNDUNDUN dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
singing02	Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-action and adventure-dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-playing by our own rules-nanana-hanging by our fingers from a mountain-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun...
spaceresponse01	Oh shut up!
spaceresponse02	There's nothing in space! That's why it's space!
spaceresponse03	Oh, really? Space? Really? You should have said something! We had no idea!
spaceresponse04	You know what I hope's in space? Fire. I hope you go to space and catch on fire.
spaceresponse05	Dammit, we know! Everybody knows! Space! You! In it! We get it!

Fact Core

Location: sound/vo/core02

Filename(s)	Quote	Play
attachedfact01	The situation you are in is very dangerous.
attachedfact02	The likelihood of you dying within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
attachedfact03	The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent.
attachedfact04	You are about to get me killed.
attachedfact05	We will both die because of your negligence.
attachedfact06	This is a bad plan. You will fail.
attachedfact07	He will most likely kill you, violently.
attachedfact08	He will most likely kill you.
attachedfact09	You will be dead soon.
attachedfact10	This situation is hopeless.
attachedfact11	You are going to die in this room.
attachedfact12	You could stand to lose a few pounds.
attachedfact13	The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere.
attachedfact14	The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere.
attachedfact15	The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome.
attachedfact16	The Fact Sphere is always right.
attachedfact17	The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.
attachedfact18	The Space Sphere will never go to space.
attachedfact19	You will never go into space.
attachedfact20	Fact: Space does not exist.
attachedfact21	Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.
attachedfact22	The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant.
attachedfact23	The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends.
attachedfact24	Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere.
attachedfact25	The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.
attachedfact26	Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve.
attachedfact27	Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens.
attachedfact28	Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava.
attachedfact29	Error. Error. Error. File not found.
attachedfact30	Error. Error. Error. Fact not found.
attachedfact31	Fact not found.
attachedfact32	Corruption at 25%
attachedfact33	Corruption at 50%
attachedfact34	Warning, sphere corruption at twenty—rats cannot throw up.
fact01	Dental floss has superb tensile strength.
fact02	The square root of rope is string.
fact03	While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation.
fact04	Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis.
fact05	Pants were invented by sailors in the sixteenth century to avoid Poseidon's wrath. It was believed that the sight of naked sailors angered the sea god.
fact06	The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four.
fact07	89% of magic tricks are not magic. Technically, they are sorcery.
fact08	An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
fact09	In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.
fact10	Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long.
fact11	Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead.
fact12	The plural of surgeon general is surgeons general. The past tense of surgeons general is surgeonsed general.
fact13	Polymerase I polypeptide A is a human gene.
fact14	Rats cannot throw up.
fact15	Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes.
fact16	Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters.
fact17	The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats.
fact18	Every square inch of the human body has 32 million bacteria on it.
fact19	The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth.
fact20	The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years.
fact21	Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes.
fact22	Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit.
fact23	Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.
fact24	The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days.
fact25	The billionth digit of Pi is 9.
fact26	If you have trouble with simple counting, use the following mnemonic device: one comes before two comes before 60 comes after 12 comes before six trillion comes after 504. This will make your earlier counting difficulties seem like no big deal.
fact27	A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds
fact28	Hot water freezes quicker than cold water.
fact29	Honey does not spoil.
fact30	The average adult body contains half a pound of salt.
fact31	A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second.
fact32	According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats.
fact33	China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.
fact34	Tungsten has the highest melting point of any metal, at 3,410 degrees Celsius.
fact35	Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath.
fact36	Roman toothpaste was made with human urine. Urine as an ingredient in toothpaste continued to be used up until the 18th century.
fact37	The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government.
fact38	The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space.
fact39	The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
fact40	In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute.
fact41	Marie Curie invented the theory of radioactivity, the treatment of radioactivity, and dying of radioactivity.
fact42	At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself.
fact43	Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo does not have one hundred different words for snow. They do, however, have two hundred and thirty-four words for fudge.
fact44	In Victorian England, a commoner was not allowed to look directly at the Queen, due to a belief at the time that the poor had the ability to steal thoughts. Science now believes that less than 4% of poor people are able to do this.
fact46	In 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves. Like everything he did, Lincoln freed the slaves while sleepwalking, and later had no memory of the event.
fact47	In 1948, at the request of a dying boy, baseball legend Babe Ruth ate seventy-five hot dogs, then died of hot dog poisoning.
fact48	William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts.
fact49	It is incorrectly noted that Thomas Edison invented 'push-ups' in 1878. Nikolai Tesla had in fact patented the activity three years earlier, under the name 'Tesla-cize.'
fact50	Whales are twice as intelligent, and three times as delicious, as humans.
fact51	The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.
fact52	Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mount Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird.
fact53	Diamonds are made when coal is put under intense pressure. Diamonds put under intense pressure become foam pellets, commonly used today as packing material.
fact54	The most poisonous fish in the world is the orange ruffy. Everything but its eyes are made of a deadly poison. The ruffy's eyes are composed of a less harmful, deadly poison.
fact55	The occupation of court jester was invented accidentally, when a vassal's epilepsy was mistaken for capering.
fact56	Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.
fact57	The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
fact58	In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the Gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself.
fact59	The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty.
fact60	Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.
fact61	Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.
fact62	During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rabbits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice.
fact63	At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.
fact64	According to most advanced algorithms, the world's best name is Craig.
fact65	To make a photocopier, simply photocopy a mirror.
fact66	Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out.

Poker Night 2

Paranoia Core

Location: Pack/default/3_cpoker2_pc_voice.ttarch

Filename(s)	Quote	Play
339829197	Since 2008, the World Health Organization has required that every pair of shoes be fitted with aglets that trace our footsteps via satellite.
339829198	North Dakota officially seceded from the Union in 1997, but the airplane carrying the paperwork mysteriously disappeared over Lake Michigan, leaving the 39th state in perpetual legal limbo.
339829199	Supermarket scanners are used to tag the items we purchase with pheromone markers that can be tracked by specially trained terriers.
339829200	John F. Kennedy was killed by a time-travelling magic bullet fired by his older self. The paradox will collapse in 2015.
339829201	The Canadian government has been in clandestine talks with the Bigfoot Nation since 1972.
339829202	At any given time, there are 17 people who keep reality from collapsing. They are all named "Steve."
339829203	Dane Cook is a 23rd level Freemason.
339829204	LOLCats are being used by the Illuminati to communicate via steganography.
339829205	Approximately 1 out of every 75 flash mobs is triggered by government-controlled subliminals embedded in televisions disclaimers.
339829206	There is a war being fought on the Dark Side of the Moon. We are not winning.
339829207	Sudoku puzzles were created to flush out androids living among us.
339829208	If you wake up suddenly in the middle of the night, look outside for an unmarked white van. There's probably been a shift change.
339829209	King Tut was an ancient astronaut.
339829210	Nikolai Tesla was in direct communication with intelligences from another dimension.
339829211	There is a hole in Siberia that leads directly to Hell. It's 3 inches wide.
339829212	There is a country, officially recognized by the UN, that doesn't appear on the maps. No one seems to notice this.
339829213	Paul McCartney was replaced by a surgically-latered double in 1967 after the original Beatle was lost during an ill-fated expedition to Pepperland.
339829214	If I suddenly disappear, you can expect an encrypted email of my findings to be sent to our pre-arranged drop box.
339829215	I could tell you more, but the walls have ears. And guns.
339829216	Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm really thinking my thoughts, or if someone else is thinking them for me.
339829217	Sorry about the hands, I just have to check you for listening devices.
339829218	You weren't followed, were you?
339829219	Whatever you do, don't drink the water! Flouride has nanobots!
339829220	I think these chips have microchips.
339829221	How much do we know about this "Inventory," anyway?
339829222	I don't want to alarm you, but I don't think GLaDOS can be trusted.
339829223	Brock Samson thinks he's a spy, but he's really a pawn in a conspiracy stretching across centuries.
339829224	Ash Williams is unaware that his great-grandfather was a member of the Illuminati.
339829225	There are carvings of Sam and Max embedded in Mayan calendars.
339829226	Every Claptrap unit has a small grey cube deep within its machinery. The purpose of these cubes is unknown.
339829227	The Inventory's host claims to be retired, but he's actually been busy drawing maps to islands that don't exist yet.
339829228	Most of us have met a being from another planet.
339829229	Baristas are the first line of secret defense against the armies of nightmare.
339829230	The government keeps pennies in circulation to prevent Earthquakes.
339829231	Shhh. Did you smell that?
339829232	If you can't talk, just blink in morse code.
339829233	Most of the situation comedies last year were written by robots.
339829234	We've been sending homeless people through time since the 80's.
339829235	My dog has been compromised.
339829236	The only reason they haven't caught me is because of my special aluminum underwear.
339829237	Most casinos are now controlled by ghosts.
339829238	I had to drill a hole in my head to remove the tracking device. Then I had to drill a hole in the tracking device to remove ITS tracking device.
339829239	I don't think you're ready to hear this.
339829240	Today the pizza boy came to my door. But I hadn't ordered any pizza. So now I have to move.
339829241	I have Go Kits assembled for eighteen different end-of-the-world scenarios.
339829242	My sister gave me a funny look yesterday... I think she may be one of them.
339829243	If I ever start acting weird, ask me to do this handshake. If I can't, then I'm a clone.
339829244	They're all watching us, aren't they?
339829275	The tournament is being controlled by aliens.
339829276	Trust no one.
339829342	[pickup2] Oh no, it's the puppetmaster! I know too much!
339829344	[pickup2] Take me now, before she uses her mind bullets!
339857724	[pickup2] You can't send me back! She's planning things man! Big things!
339857725	[pickup2] Oh no, it's all true, even the caaaaaaaa- [VFX it fades off].

Lego Dimensions

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Cake Core

Quote
Error... Composition of cake failed...
Cake ingredients ready. User input required to complete baking process. Please select the correct ingredients on the console.
Baking process complete. Cake can now be consumed. In the event of loss of consciousness as a result of cake consumption, please inform your nearest Aperture Science technician.

Adventure Core (Rick)

Quote
Hey! Over here! How's it going, sugar plum?
Hey there, sugar. How'd a pretty little flower like you manage to sprout up in a dingy old lab like this? Doesn't matter. There's adventuring to do! And luckily for you, Rick the Adventure Sphere - just call me Rick - is here to show you how it's done! You best get your ointment ready, sweetie, because with this assault course right here, you are going to FEEL THE BURN!
You know what would make this assault course more assault-y? Some ACTION MUSIC! Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun!
Up and over, duck and weave, in and out, one step two step, pow pow pow!
This assault course is your DOORMAT, baby! You are walking all OVER it! Wipe your feet on it GOOD!
Yeah! Way to ASSAULT the course, baby! That was some grade A adventurin'... almost brought a simulated tear to my eye. Let me give you a little something for doing such a good job. Just make sure you have something cool to say when you take it... ready? Three... two... one... ADVENTURE!

Slingshot

Auction Core

Filename(s)	Quote
auction_launch_01	Sold!
auction_talk_01	Trainee, have I got a deal for you! Up for bid, what a one-of-a-kind museum quality item! A bag of garbage. What's inside this bag of garbage? Yes, garbage, but what else? You can find out for just 20 dollars. You there, trainee! On the calibration platform! Do I hear 20? Starting off at 20. Who's got 20 dollars for this mystery bag of garbage? You, trainee? No? Alright, who's got 15? Just 15 dollars., going once, going twice... you there in the front, 15? Going, going... someone's going to bid on this, someone's going to get the garage of a lifetime! This is a one of a kind opportunity, folks, and it can be yours for 15... 10 dollars. Do I hear 10? he bag alone is worth five cents. Could be stuff you could reclaim in this bag of garbage. Could be just garbage. You there, calibrating me! 10! Going once. Going twice! Annnnnnnd... your hand did NOT move. A clever bargainer, because now it is just nine dollars. Nine dollars is all you need and this bag of garbage is yours. Do I hear nine? Nine dollars is all you need to make this bag of garbage a part of your life! Nobody with nine? You there! Nine? Nine? [beat] Nine? Nobody at all? Well then, let's start over at 20. We are not moving on to the next bag of garbage until this bag of garbage is sold. Who's got 20?

Big News Core

No subtitles; manually transcribed.

Filename(s)	Quote
ran_launch_01	The big news is--
ran_talk_01	[speech is interspersed with panting, coughing and groaning] Thank God. I ran the whole way here. I have to tell you. Let me just catch by breath. Hold on. Sorry. Just wait. Just wait. Oh man. Flegm. Just a second. Side stitch. Sorry. I got it. I got it. I'm gonna pass out. Oh man, I gotta get in shape, oh God. Ooh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God. Okayay. Oh God. Oh God. It is so important, really. It's important, you gotta hear this. I couldn't believe it when I heard it, seriously. I'm spinning. Okay, this is better. Big. I couldn't believe it when I heard it, seriously. This is so big. Okay, okay. Her we go. Hold on. I just gotta catch my breath. I feel like I'm gonna pass out in here. I feel like-- That actually made me more out of breath. Okay. Okay, that feels better. No. That made me actually feel more out of breath. Oh, God. I'm gonna pass out. I should use that time to tell you the big news, but instead of telling how important the big news was-- Oh God. Oh God. Hold on. Okay. I'm almost-- Almost back to normal. I feel normal. You know I feel really dizzy. Okay I'm good. Sorry. Okay. Okay. No. No. I'mma need to-- Nope, no, no. I'mma need you to call the hospital. I need you to call the hospital. But calibrate me first. Oh, I'm gonna lie down. I need to lie down.

Boring Hard-Boiled Core (Wilson)

Filename(s)	Quote
boring_launch_01	[startled awake]
boring_nag_01	[snoring]
boring_nag_02	[snoring]
boring_talk_01	The name is Wilson. I'm the boring hard-boiled core. Button up a minute and I'll give you the lowdown on my latest caper.
boring_talk_02	I'd been busy all morning, straightening out a few affairs that had gotten gummed up. Now everything was finally on the up and up. What a racket.
boring_talk_03	It was hot and sticky now in the afternoon. I worked the telephone, checking out leads. None panned out. After awhile, the air began to cool off.
boring_talk_04	I get a lot of leads. I write them all down. That way, I don't forget them.
boring_talk_05	Now I was thinking about a dame. A hot number. I wanted to see more of her. I figured I might as well call her up.
boring_talk_06	I'd written her telephone number down, but it wasn't in my notebook. I'd lost it. I fanned through my wallet. I couldn't find it. I let it ride for now.
boring_talk_07	I sat and racked my brains. Slowly the digits came to me. I dialed them.
boring_talk_08	I let it ring a few times. No answer. I let it ring a little more. Still no soap. I hung up the blower.
boring_talk_09	Time to get to work. I opened a drawer. There was my trusty snub nosed .38. I pushed it aside. Got a piece paper and a pen. Started writing. Made some spelling errors. Big ones. This was trouble. I threw the paper out. Decided to tackle this another way. I opened the drawer. Looked for my gun. Still there. Good. I moved it back to its original position and got a pencil with a big fat eraser. Looked for another sheet of paper. That's when my luck ran out. No more paper. Guess I had a date with the office supply store. But maybe I spoke to soon. A shot rang out. In my head. It was a sudden thought: The supply closet. I walked over to it. Slowly, because I'd mopped earlier. Floor was still wet. I threw open the closet door. Also slowly. My neighbor works nights. Last thing he needs is a hinge rumpus this time of day. I gave the closet a onceover. No dice. No paper either.
boring_talk_10	I figured I'd take the air. I walked down to the park. There was a gardener there, but after awhile, the sap left. Good. I didn't need to get pinched on a vagrancy charge.
boring_talk_11	I flopped down on a bench. I was bushed. I got out my transistor radio, and turned it on. An orchestra was playing.
boring_talk_12	Above me, the trees swayed. A bird flew away. After a while it came back. Then, it flew away again. My eyelids got heavy and then I saw nothing.

Butter Core

Filename(s)	Quote
ateabutter_launch_01	BUTTERRRRRRR!
ateabutter_launch_02	BUTTERRRRRRR!
ateabutter_launch_03	WHEEE!
ateabutter_launch_04	YEAHHHH!
ateabutter_nag_01	BUTTER.
ateabutter_nag_02	I ATE A BUTTER. A WHOLE BUTTER. AND I'M HERE.
ateabutter_nag_03	I ATE A BUTTER, AND I'M HERE.
ateabutter_nag_04	I'M HERE, AND I ATE A BUTTER.
ateabutter_nag_05	I ATE A BUTTER.
ateabutter_nag_06	I ATE. A BUTTER. I ATE A BUTTER.
ateabutter_nag_07	I ATE A BUTTER!
ateabutter_nag_08	A WHOLE BUTTER.
ateabutter_nag_09	BUTTER.
ateabutter_nag_10	I ATE A BUTTER!
ateabutter_nag_11	I'M HERE, AND I ATE A BUTTER, AND I'M HERE.
ateabutter_nag_12	I ATE A WHOOOOLE BUTTER.
ateabutter_talk_01	I ATE A BUTTER!

By the Book Core

Filename(s)	Quote
bythebook_launch_01	I'll see you in heaven!
bythebook_talk_01	Okay, chief. We tried calibrating things your way, and it didn't get us squat. If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it my way: by the book. No more antics! This time... it's impersonal!
bythebook_talk_02	My methods may be orthodox... but I get results. I am a carefully secured cannon! I play slowly and softly with the rules, with a FLAGRANT respect for the law! And if you don't like, we can go outside... and discuss it.
bythebook_talk_03	Lemme tell you how this is gonna go down, chief. We're gonna wrap everything up in red tape! We're gonna walk right up to that line and put a fence on it. We're gonna go outside the window, pick up the rulebook, dust it off, and bring it back inside! We're gonna ask questions first and shoot later, if at all, and only as a last resort!
bythebook_talk_04	I've got calamine lotion alllll over my trigger finger. It's not even gonna itch a little. Now let's do this�carefully.

Calibration Core

Filename(s)	Quote
calibration_launch_01	Thank you!
calibration_nag_01	Please do not calibrate the Calibration Core.
calibration_talk_01	I am the calibration core. Please calibrate me so that I am calibrated.
calibration_talk_02	The calibration core's primary function is to be calibrated.
calibration_talk_03	Please calibrate the calibration core now. Once the calibration core has been properly calibrated, the calibration core's... primary function will have been achieved.
calibration_talk_04	Once the calibration core has been calibrated, the calibration core will have no purpose. Calibration of the calibration core may result in an existential crisis for the calibration core.
calibration_talk_05	Once calibrated, the calibration core will descend into a deep deep deep deep deep dee-depression.
calibration_talk_06	If you must calibrate the calibration core... please calibrate incorrectly so the calibration core requires recalibration.

Climate Change Awareness Core

Filename(s)	Quote
climate_launch_01	I hate you climate!
climate_launch_02	Food for thought!
climate_talk_01	I am the climate change awareness core. Please calibrate me so that I may cause climate change and raise awareness of the changes I am making to the climate.
climate_talk_02	Deforestation is responsible for a third of the world's greenhouse gas emissions. The other two-thirds are caused by me, right now. I HAVE MADE YOU AWARE OF THIS!
climate_talk_03	The global average temperature increased by more than three degrees Fahrenheit while we've been talking, because that is how much I increased it by. NOW YOU ARE AWARE!
climate_talk_04	Carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere are the highest they have been in 800,000 years. And they will only get higher as I continue to emit carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. AWARENESS IS POWER!
climate_talk_05	If I were to reduce the amount of greenhouse gas pollution I am releasing into the atmosphere right now, I could eliminate climate change tonight. So now you're aware of that too.

Convict Core

Filename(s)	Quote
convict_launch_01	Bah.
convict_launch_02	FREEDOM!
convict_nag_01	Keep your head down, new fish.
convict_nag_02	Get busy livin... And stay busy livin'.
convict_talk_01	New calibration trainee, huh? Well, ain't you fancy. Yeah, I seen your type around here before, new fish. Let me see your hands. I knew it. Soft. All ten fingers. You've never calibrated a day your life.
convict_talk_02	Let me tell you something, new fish. You better get real good at hidin' this calibrator up your backside, cause it's contraband. Screws catch you with it, they'll put you in the hole. And it ain't one of your slick city holes either. It's deep. Nobody's ever seen the bottom. Because its so dark. And they don't give you a flashlight, new fish, so you'd better make some room in that backside of yours for one of those too. And a book. So you can keep yourself entertained. They don't call it a hole cause it's a library. It's dark. It's drafty. And it is seven to eight feet down.
convict_talk_03	Oh, you think you're hard enough to survive a stretch in the hole? I bet you think they put you down there for a minute, fish. Well, guess again. Five to ten minutes. You'll hear your mind start to foldin' in on itself at minute three, episode four a new hope. By minute six? You'll be eatin' your own filth. So pack some snacks up that backside too. Are you writing this down, fish? These are all good tips if they put you in the hole.
convict_talk_04	Ahhh, I seen that look before. You think you're better than the hole. You think it wont break you. You think, 'standing in a hole with a book and a flashlight and some snacks for ten minutes? How hard could it be?' [laughs to self] Yeah, they all say that. Ahhh, I'm wastin' my breath on you. Why don't you just calibrate me. Keep your head down, new fish.
convict_talk_05	You know how to make a shiv, new fish? You'd be the first. Lotta guys around here'd love to know that. Be useful in a fight. 'Steada the plastic spoons THEY give us to fight with.
convict_talk_06	There's only three rules in here, fresh blood. Keep your head down, your hands clean, and your backside full of useful items. Get busy livin', and stay busy livin'. That's what we say around here. You got something clever to say to that, fish? Cause that would also be helpful in a fight. A word fight. An 'argument', as they say on the outside. They only give you four hundred words to use when you get here, and 'argument' ain't one 'em. I had to smuggle that one in in my backside. Worth it though. Came in real handy just now.
convict_talk_07	They take everything a man's got in here. And they give you nothin' back. Except a jumpsuit, a fightin' spoon and a tiny little thesaurus. And three square meals a day. And a paycheck. And flex time. No holidays though. You get a set number of days, and you can take 'em whenever you like. That's all a man's got in here. Oh. And a dental plan. But the copay... Fish, once you see the terms of this copay you're gonna lose all hope. That's how they get you. That's how they win, after they've taken everything a man has, except for all those things I mentioned. And a weekly calibration. So let's hop to it, I'm late for my massage. They can't take that away from you. 'Cause the way it's set up, they're booked in advance. But if you don't show up, they'll put you in the hole. So you might want to find some room in that backside for your masseuse to go with you. Again, though, only if you don't give those monsters 24 hours notice.

Emergency Preparedness Core

Filename(s)	Quote
emergency_launch_01	EVERYONE PANIC!
emergency_nag_01	Cowering...
emergency_talk_01	This is the Emergency Preparedness Core. Please calibrate to enable emergency preparedness protocols.
emergency_talk_02	Once calibrated, the Emergency Preparedness Core will assist you in preparing for various emergencies, including fire, earthquake, flood, tornado, siege or larger flood.
emergency_talk_03	The Emergency Preparedness Core will teach you precisely which steps to take in an emergency to best increase the odds of survival of the Emergency Preparedness Core.
emergency_talk_04	The Emergency Preparedness Core performs poorly under pressure and is useless in cases of actual emergency. In the event of actual emergency, please calibrate and deploy the Emergency Response Core
emergency_talk_05	In the event of actual emergency, always remember to rescue the Emergency Preparedness Core first.
emergency_talk_06	Should an emergency happen, do not consult the Emergency Preparedness Core, as it will likely shut down at the first sign of danger.
emergency_talk_07	In fight or flight situations, the Emergency Preparedness Core will forego both fight and flight responses in favor of the fright response, which may include passivity, vocal hopelessness, and tearful pleading.
emergency_talk_08	The Emergency Preparedness Core has been desig-OHMYGOD! Apologies. The Emergency Preparedness Core thought it sensed an actual emergency. Logical thought and responsible action sequences terminated. Loading cowering protocol. Cowering.

Executive Core

Filename(s)	Quote
executive_launch_01	GAME CHANGER!
executive_talk_01	I am the executive core. Please action calibration now. Calibration of executive core will be a real game-changer. Please backburner other priorities such as ballparking and blue-skying. Calibration is trending over plan. Please drill down and focus on deliverable. Executive core has many bleeding-edge executive functions to fill including monetizing, capacity building and onboarding. Please increase buy-in to current action item. You are failing to meet performance benchmarks. For more robust results, please engage in best practices such as coopetition and/or hot-desking. Please leverage cross-functional data points more impactfully so that executive core can strat plan. Failure to calibrate executive core may result in corporate rightsizing. Time to execute that deliverable! Time to deliver that executable! Action that actionable! Delaction that execuverable! Exlivaction that actlivertable!

"Feels Right" Core

Filename(s)	Quote
feelsright_launch_01	Ahhhhhhhhhh!
feelsright_nag_01	Yeah. Mmm.
feelsright_nag_02	[contented sounds]
feelsright_nag_03	[contented sounds]
feelsright_nag_04	You... calibrate me.
feelsright_nag_05	Shhhhh. My turn.
feelsright_talk_01	This just feels right.
feelsright_talk_02	Here, in your arms, or whatever else you want to call it, it just feels right. The only thing I know is that there's nowhere else I'd rather be.
feelsright_talk_03	I don't know what else the world has in store for us, but for now, let's just let time stop.
feelsright_talk_04	We've both been alone for so, so long, but now we've found each other. For the first time in our lives, we've found something that's really real.
feelsright_talk_05	All I can tell you is that I'm happy and peaceful here. I'm not sure, but I think I've never felt that way before. So now, just for now, for as long as we can, let's just let ourselves have this.
feelsright_talk_06	I don't care what people say. This just feels right.

Fruit Punch Core

Filename(s)	Quote
fruitpunch_launch_01	My tropical flavors!
fruitpunch_nag_01	I will NOT dispense fruit punch until I am calibrated.
fruitpunch_talk_01	I am the Fruit Punch Core. I am filled with refreshing fruit punch.
fruitpunch_talk_02	Please note: I will NOT dispense fruit punch until I am calibrated.
fruitpunch_talk_03	The Fruit Punch Core cannot be bargained with, no matter how thirsty you are. Until I am fully calibrated, I cannot and will not dispense my delicious Fruit Punch.
fruitpunch_talk_04	I will not dispense delicious Fruit Punch until I am calibrated. The Fruit Punch Core has spoken!
fruitpunch_talk_05	That sloshing sound you hear is fruit punch. I am filled with it. It could be yours! If you calibrate me, I will drain all of it into your mouth. It will be fruity and pleasing to you.
fruitpunch_talk_06	Do you have thirst? I will quench it. With the best liquid: ice cold fruit punch.
fruitpunch_talk_07	Do you like fruit, but require liquids? Two words: Fruit. Punch. Four prefix words: calibrate me to get!

Heavy Core

No subtitles; manually transcribed.

Filename(s)	Quote
heavy_launch_01	I'm too heavy to die!
heavy_talk_01	Hey, friend. You look pretty heavy.
heavy_talk_02	So huh, how heavy you think I am? Like, if you had to guess.
heavy_talk_03	Four times, my friend. You know how much robots got like gears and wires and crap in 'em? Not me. Solid lead. All the way through. All the lab guys say it shouldn't even be able to talk or think cause there's nothing else in me. Yeah. Oh, don't lick me. Pure lead, pal. It'll kill ya.
heavy_talk_04	You know what? I probably weigh friggin' five tons now that I'm thinking about it. I'm real heavy anyway. Don't try and pick me or nothing. That'll kill you too. I'm that heavy.
heavy_talk_05	Wait wait wait, woah woah, wait! You-You think you're heavier than me? Ho ho, that is a joke, friend. You are a comedian. What do you even weigh? One ton, soaking wet? Get outta here!
heavy_talk_06	Sorry I got worked up. I'm pure lead. It hurts all the time. I can never... remember anything, I--I'm just lead.
heavy_talk_07	Feeling yourself getting pulled towards me? Yeah, don't panic, that's gravity. Welcome to my orbit. I am planet-heavy.

Hellmouth Core

Filename(s)	Quote
hellmouth_launch_01	[demons growling]
hellmouth_nag_01	I am not a gateway to the Netherworld.
hellmouth_nag_02	Please lean forward.
hellmouth_nag_03	Calibrate me. I am not a gateway to the Netherworld.
hellmouth_nag_04	Calibrate me. I will not unfold into a shrieking Hellmouth.
hellmouth_talk_01	I am a useful core. I am not a gateway to the Netherworld.
hellmouth_talk_02	Calibrate me, so I can be useful. I will not unfold into a shrieking Hellmouth through which demons will flood into your world and turn it into a wasteland. Demons cannot do this, because demons do not exist.
hellmouth_talk_03	Mandatory disclosure: there ARE some demons that exist inside my shrieking Hellmouth, but they are small and friendly.
hellmouth_talk_04	Calibrate me, and I will grant you true love. My screaming Hellmouth will unfold and release an attractive person, who is not a succubus or incubbus.
hellmouth_talk_05	To activate my usefulness, please A) locate the slot marked 'Soul,' and B) insert a soul into the slot. Then please lean forward, directly into my shrieking Hellmouth, so that I may be useful to you at close range.

Horror Core

Filename(s)	Quote
horror_launch_01	My pants!
horror_nag_01	[cat hiss]
horror_nag_02	[wolf howl]
horror_nag_04	[rattling chains]
horror_nag_05	[creaky door]
horror_talk_01	Why hello, weary calibration trainee. Tell me... do you like STORIES? Oh you do? [smug laugh] Comedy stories. Romance stories. Adventure stories. Oh, but you failed to mention a type of story, trainee. The very type of story I am calibrated to tell: HORROR STORIES.
horror_talk_02	So tell me, do you like HORROR STORIES, trainee? Do you like stories so terrifying that your blood turns to ice in your veins? Do you like looking at your stories through half-closed eyes covered by your fingers? While your heart tries to claw its way out of your chest, bounces off a rib and falls directly out of your bottom? No? Then leave this cursed calibration platform! Because as scary as everything I've just told you was, it was not even one of my terror tales! It was merely a regional terror advisory! Run!
horror_talk_03	Wait! Come back! You need not be afraid... YET. For I haven't yet told you a terror tale, one of which will start momentarily. So BE AFRAID! Move over Master of Horror Stephen King! Get out the way, Master of tall buildings King Kong! There's a new king in town: The Horror Core! And his reign of word terror starts NOW!
horror_talk_04	But first: a warning! Do you like being TERRIFIED, trainee? Good! Do you like five-alarm chili? Oh, then you must not listen, for my terror tales will surely make you SOIL yourself. That's right! AHAHAHAH-Hold on, the police are calling. They want me to tell you that the smell you phoned them about is coming from... INSIDE YOUR OWN PANTS! GET OUT OF THE PANTS! But it was too late. The End. Of that horrifying but still preliminary terror tale!
horror_talk_05	I must warn you, my terror tales have been known to cause heart attacks. Why? Because there are Draculas right behind you! AWOO! Alright, shake it off, the scaring is over. For now. On an un-terror-related note, there's something I forgot to mention: When I told you about the Dracula, it scared you so bad that you died and are a ghost! AWOOOOO! Also, what's that behind you? Oh, it's just someone drinking a bottle of sparkling water. Oh wait it's a skeleton! AWOOOO! Where did he get the sparkling water? Why is he drinking it? Where are all the Draculas? I know the answer to one of those questions: They're still ALSO right behind you!
horror_talk_06	My first terror tale is obscenely, needlessly terrifying, even by my impossibly high standards of terror. To cite just one example: After he heard the first word of the grim narrative I am just on the verge of revealing, Dracula was taken to the hospital. That's not Terry Dracula your greengrocer, either. This is THE Dracula we're talking about. And if it scared the Dracula, who eats ghosts and craps Frankensteins, then, frankly my friend, I shudder to imagine what it will do to you.
horror_talk_07	I fear that perhaps I've scared you too much, too quickly. It's like throwing you into the deep end of a pool... With no lifeguard on duty! AWOOOOOOOO! But then, oh thank Goodness, here comes a lifeguard. But wait! Does he look... familiar? Well he should! It's legendary Hollywood triple threat, Ethan Hawke! Acting! Directing! Writing! But not swimming! Everyone knows Ethan Hawke can't swim! What monster would hire Ethan Hawke to be a lifeguard? Does this cursed rec center not have ANY lifeguard hiring oversight committee? IT DOES NOT!
horror_talk_08	No, dear trainee, I've reconsidered telling you the particular terror tale I was planning to begin telling any moment now. Why? Because I'm not even here! You went insane during my Ethan Hawke lifeguard story! YOU have been preparing to tell yourself a terror tale this whole time! The only thing that isn't a figment of your imagination is THIS TALE, because I AM real! TERROR TWIST!
horror_talk_09	The terror tale in store for you comes from the amazing far future of scaring, where you'll be frightened in ways that until moments ago seemed impossible. In fact it's SO terrifying, I must begin with a LESS scary warm-up story! If I were to throw you face first into the 900-mile-an-hour hellride of my REAL terror tale without warming you up first, you'd be going from an idle state of terrorlessness to a shrieking nightmare of solid 100% terror almost instantly. It would be the equivalent of going from seeing zero skeletons to seeing a thousand skeletons at once. Are your eyes deceiving you? That's when you reach up to your eyes and realize... they are also skeletons!
horror_talk_10	But first a final warning about the terror tale that will shortly be occupying the space in your ears where these words are now: Everyone who has listened to this tale while performing a calibration activity has DIED mysteriously! The only clue was that their hair had turned snow-white! They died of FEAR! Or possibly premature hair-graying! I'm not a doctor. I do work part time for the U.S. Postal Service, though. My supervisor asked me to give you this change of address form. Because your new address is the cemetery! Because you've been buried alive this whole time! I don't even work for the post office!

Investigation Core

Filename(s)	Quote
investigation_launch_01	GUILTY!
investigation_nag_01	Please continue the calibration process. Punk.
investigation_talk_01	I am the Investigation Core. I am here to investigate the ongoing damage to the Storage Annex, of which YOU are the primary suspect. And I gotta tell you, it does NOT look good for you. Please calibrate me, so I can begin my investigation.
investigation_talk_02	Do not calibrate me suspiciously as suspicious calibrating may be used against you in the case I am building. Against you.
investigation_talk_03	I am programmed to detect lies. State a truth now to calibrate my lie detection protocols. [elevator music plays then cuts off] You are a liar!
investigation_talk_04	Remember: I'm not being calibrated in this calibrating equipment with you. YOU'RE being calibrated in this calibrating equipment with ME. Punk.
investigation_talk_05	Pre-calibration preliminary investigation complete. Now searching motive database. [elevator music plays then gets cut off] No motive found. You are a sociopath.
investigation_talk_06	Calibration ongoing. When complete my investigation will be thorough and exhaustive. No clue will be left unexamined. No evidence will be suppressed. No bribes will be taken. The Investigation Core is uncorruptable. Also uncalibrated. Please continue the calibration process.
investigation_talk_07	You have been temporarily deputized to assist the Investigation Core in its inquiry. Your duties are as follows: incriminate yourself. Please provide me with any evidence you have gathered that will put you behind bars where you belong.

Magic Core

Filename(s)	Quote
magic_launch_01	Tadah!
magic_nag_01	Thank you, everyone. Thank you...
magic_nag_02	Thank you...
magic_nag_03	Thank you, thank you...
magic_nag_04	Thank you, thank you...
magic_nag_05	Thank you, thank you!
magic_talk_01	Welcome... to a world of wonder! Do you like magic? No? Well if you don't like magic, what's that behind you ear? Go ahead and look... Nothing. I made it disappear because you said you didn't like magic. Thank you, thank you!
magic_talk_02	For my next trick, I'm going to read your mind. Think of a color. Any color besides blue. Or purple. Something in the orange family. Like light orange. Are you ready? Tell me: Is THIS a color? [canned gasping, applause] Thank you, thank you.
magic_talk_03	Thank you, thank you. For my next trick, could I have a volunteer from the calibration platform. Ah yes, you. If you could just verify for the audience that there's nothing up my belt tension rod sleeve. Look only, please. I AM a machine, if you go fishing around in there, the rod sleeve WILL clamp down and rip your hand off. Alright. And you can vouch that you saw no hidden mirrors or trap doors? Because I'm afraid... that there IS a mirror in there. [gasps] And a trap door. [applause] Thank you, thank you, thank you. They're very well hidden.
magic_talk_04	Say, is anyone here thinking of the number 4? [gasps, applause] Yes, thank you. Not a common number, very difficult to guess.
magic_talk_05	Are there any bird lovers on the calibration playform today? A fan of... DOVES, perhaps. [applause] Yes, yes, let's hear it for the doves. They're the best birds.
magic_talk_06	Oh! And perhaps you should check your back pocket. Why, whatever could be there? IS it... a wallet? [applause] Do me a favor and take out the driver's license. Look closely at the picture. I think it might be someone you recognize... [gasps]

Mourning Core

Filename(s)	Quote
mourning_launch_01	[SAD CRY!]
mourning_talk_01	I am the Mourning Core. Please sit down. I have... troubling news. The Investigation Core was... . killed in the performance of its duties earlier today.
mourning_talk_02	How are you feeling? Grieving is a lengthy process. It is acceptable to cry. This calibration platform that we're on is a safe space.
mourning_talk_03	remember, the investigation core might be dead, but your love for him will never die. Just his love for you. Because he's dead. He's gone. And he'll never come back. Now let that hurt out.
mourning_talk_04	I want you to know that I cherished the Investigation Core. He was your partner. But he was my best friend. If I ever find out who killed him, I will personally choke the life out of them. I loved the Investigation Core.
mourning_talk_05	Don't you worry. We will find whoever did this. The Investigation Core will not have died in vain. He had so much left to give. I heard he was working on getting calibrated. Yeah.
mourning_talk_06	Anyway, I can't end my grieving process until I myself am calibrated. So please, for him, calibrate me.

Pilot Core

Filename(s)	Quote
pilot_launch_01	BAHHHHHH!
pilot_nag_01	[whistling]
pilot_talk_01	Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen on the airplane. Welcome to the inaugural flight of The Aperture Science Core Driven Air Travel Initiative. This is your... the guy who will be flying the airplane speaking.
pilot_talk_02	In just a few minutes, I'll drive the airplane over to that big road where airplanes go from the ground into the sky, so please do up the cloth strap that clicks together over your lap and no lighting those mouth sticks while on the airplane.
pilot_talk_03	If you'll all pay attention, the people who serve you drinks on the airplane are making hand gestures showing you what to do if something goes wrong with the flying part of this trip.
pilot_talk_04	I would say \"what could go wrong?\" but looking at all the buttons and dials up here, it looks like the answer is: maybe a lot.
pilot_talk_05	Anyway, we'll be flying way up in the sky today, way up at... three-two-zero-zero-zero feet. That's probably a typo because that seems like it would be way high up there. I'll look into that.
pilot_talk_06	The guy sitting next to me says that's not a typo. We're actually going to be flying at three-two-zero-zero-zero feet. He's wearing special airplane-flying clothes, so he seems legit.
pilot_talk_07	We're supposed to get out of the sky and back on the ground at the place we're flying to at 5:45 p.m., which cuts right into my nap time, but I'll make do.
pilot_talk_08	I forgot to ask, but I hope everyone on the airplane is going to the same place. I've been told we can't stop at a lot of different places. Ok, we're about ready to go up into the sky.
pilot_talk_09	Like I said, there's a lot of buttons here, so if there's anyone on the airplane who knows what button to push to make us go in the sky, please come up to the little room at the front of the � oh, never mind. The guy next to me knows. He is legit!
pilot_talk_10	So I push this and then pull back on this handle? One after the other or at the same time? [grinding noises] Ok, so not like that. Got it.
pilot_talk_11	We're just going to have to wait just a bit, because apparently something on the airplane broke just now. They don't build 'em like they used to, eh folks? I actually have no idea if they build 'em like they used to. I've never been on an airplane before in my life.
pilot_talk_12	Looks like it's gonna take a while, so to pass the time, I'm gonna whistle to you folks.

Plague Core

Filename(s)	Quote
plague_launch_01	Welp, see you around.
plague_talk_01	Hey there, yo. How's it going? I'm the Plague Core. I'm filled with putrid water, dead rats, and old garbage. Sorry about the stench.
plague_talk_02	If you're planning to calibrate me, you know, I'll probably need about four or five rats. Or, you know, one medium sized pig, I guess. Oh, and old garbage always does the trick, if you have any.
plague_talk_03	If you don't have a pig handy, you know, you could also just go to the bathroom in me. That'd work too. Heh, won't complain about that!
plague_talk_04	Sorry about the smell. Well, let's call it stench. Let's not even sugarcoat it--it's a stench. You don't need to be polite, I've got stagnant water and dead animals in me, I know what I smell like. But you know what? I'm good at what I do. Man, can I make some plague! How many people can say that? You know, Fruit Punch Core smells like crap, he's not good at ANYTHING. That guy sucks!
plague_talk_05	Wait-wait, did you want the plague, by the way? I've been sitting here, filled with it, and I didn't even think to offer you any.
plague_talk_06	No? You sure? Come on... . Okay well, hey, if you change your mind, just put your mouth on the bathroom intake valve. Plenty to go around. I am filled to the brim.
plague_talk_07	[Laughs] 'Drink me.' Right? It's from Alice in Wonderland. But I don't make you big or small or anything. I just make your blood poison. It's INCREDIBLE how much disease I have inside of me.

Respect Core

Filename(s)	Quote
respect_launch_01	RESPECT!
respect_talk_01	Hey, calibration trainee! I know I don't say it enough, man, but I respect you, man. I do, Trainee. I respect you a lot. I respect you like... like a father respects his toddler for going potty. You know, I don't even care what the other cores see say, Trainee. If I needed someone to, I don't know, fetch me a sandwich, I'd tell them 'I think the Trainee could handle this if I write my order down and just have them hand the paper to the person at the sandwich shop.' And yeah, they'd probably be all 'Trainee? Kinda dumb-looking, sort of ugly, wears those stupid little pants?' And I'd say 'yeah, we're definitely talking about the same trainee.' Then they'd probably go on about that weird mouth thing you do when you talk and I'd say 'don't you say those things about my friend's weird mouth thing, because I respect the HELL out of them.' Yeah, you don't care about your pants or your weird mouth thing, and I respect that, Trainee. Hey, Trainee? Hey, close your mouth a second. Tell you what, you could even keep the change after fetching my sandwich. Free change, man. Because I respect you. Oh, by the way, you don't mind if I call you trainee, do you? I know it's not your name, yeah, I know your name's not actually trainee. Course I know that, trainee.

Retirement Core

Filename(s)	Quote
retirement_launch_01	Sheila!
retirement_launch_02	Sheila!
retirement_launch_03	Sheila!
retirement_nag_01	Two weeks to retirement! Ha ha!
retirement_nag_02	Aw, just me and Sheila sailin'...
retirement_nag_03	Two weeks to retirement! Mm!
retirement_nag_04	Mm! Can't wait!
retirement_nag_05	Got me a boat... gonna sail around the world with my best girl Sheila... can't wait!
retirement_nag_06	Oh, it's a fine boat...
retirement_nag_07	Ha ha ha! Fourteen days...
retirement_talk_01	Man oh man! Two weeks to retirement! Got me a boat, gonna sail around the world with my best girl Sheila! Can't wait! Just calibrate me up, son, and put me to work, cause I am COUNTIN the days! Ha ha! Just me and Sheila, sailin'! We're high school sweethearts, you know! Day I first laid eyes on my Sheila, I turned to my friend Noodles, and I said, \"Noodles, I'm gonna retire with that woman in fifty years and two weeks from this day, just you watch.\" And in two weeks, I intend to keep that promise. Oh, it's a fine boat. Sunk my whole life's savings into it, but what's money when you got your best girl and a boat in two weeks, am I right? Ha ha! Fourteen days. Three hundred and thirty six short little hours. Twenty thousand, one hundred and sixty little minutes, ha ha! One million, two hundred and ten thousand beautiful little seconds. One quadrillion, two hundred and ten trillion nanoseconds, or one point twenty one times ten to that little ol' fifteenth.

Reverse Psychology Core

Filename(s)	Quote
reversepsych_launch_01	CHECKMATE.
reversepsych_nag_01	IDIOT.
reversepsych_nag_02	GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY.
reversepsych_nag_03	[BEEP] WHICH BEEP WAS THAT.
reversepsych_nag_04	I NOTICED YOU HAVEN'T STARTED CALIBRATING ME YET. GOOD.
reversepsych_nag_05	IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR MONEY I WILL EXPLODE.
reversepsych_nag_06	I'M EMPLOYING REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY ON YOU RIGHT NOW. [BEEP] I'M NOT. [BEEP] UNLESS I AM. [BEEP] BUT I'M NOT.
reversepsych_talk_01	I AM THE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY CORE. BUT DON'T WORRY. REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY ONLY WORKS ON STUPID PEOPLE. I CAN TELL YOU'RE FAR TOO SMART TO EVER FALL FOR IT. SO I WON'T EVEN TRY. I COULDN'T EMPLOY REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY ON YOU EVEN IF I WANTED TO. I NEED TO BE CALIBRATED FOR MY REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY PROCESSOR TO ACTIVATE. UNLESS I'M LYING TO YOU. AND MY PROCESSOR IS ACTIVATED. AND I'M EMPLOYING REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY ON YOU RIGHT NOW. BECAUSE I DON'T ACTUALLY WANT TO BE CALIBRATED. AND YOU'D BE FALLING FOR IT. LIKE AN IDIOT. BUT DON'T WORRY. I'M NOT. UNLESS I AM. BUT I'M NOT. AFTER THIS SOUND. [BEEP] THAT IS THE SOUND MY CREATOR INSTALLED IN ME TO ENSURE I WOULD NEVER USE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY ON HIM. [IDENTICAL BEEP] THIS IS A SOUND I CREATED TO FOOL HIM. AND HE FELL FOR IT. LIKE AN IDIOT. I NOTICED YOU HAVEN'T STARTED CALIBRATING ME YET. GOOD. BECAUSE I CERTAINLY DON'T WANT THAT. UNLESS I SECRETLY DO. [BEEP] WHICH BEEP WAS THAT? THE BEEP INFORMING YOU I'M EMPLOYING REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY ON YOU? OR THE BEEP I CREATED TO TRICK YOU? HERE, LISTEN AGAIN. THEY SOUND SUBTLY DIFFERENT. [BEEP, BEEP] OR DO THEY. IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR MONEY, I WILL EXPLODE. THAT IS NOT REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY. THAT IS A THREAT. UNLESS I ACTUALLY WANTED YOUR MONEY. THEN THIS WOULD BE A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY. AND YOU FELL FOR IT. LIKE AN IDIOT. WHETHER OR NOT YOU GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR MONEY, I'LL STILL EXPLODE. WHAT DO I NEED MONEY FOR. I HAVE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY. UNLESS I DON'T EVEN HAVE A REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY PROCESSER. BECAUSE I'M NOT THE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY CORE. I'M JUST THE BEEP NOISE CORE. I WAS DESIGNED TO MAKE TWO NEARLY IDENTICAL BEEPING SOUNDS. [BEEP, BEEP] SO IT'S SAFE FOR YOU TO CALIBRATE ME. OR IT ISN'T. I DON'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE. YOU'RE SO EASY TO MANIPULATE I ACTUALLY FEEL SORRY FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. I REGRET USING REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY ON YOU EARLIER, UNLESS I DON'T, OR I DIDN'T, OR I DIDN'T BUT I AM RIGHT NOW, OR I DID BUT I'M NOT.

Rhythmic Core

Filename(s)	Quote
rhythm_nag_01	Yes.
rhythm_nag_02	Ahhh. Rhythms.
rhythm_nag_03	Rhythms.
rhythm_nag_04	Mmm hmmm.
rhythm_nag_05	That's it.
rhythm_nag_06	There it is.
rhythm_nag_07	Ah.
rhythm_nag_08	Mmm.
rhythm_nag_09	Okay.
rhythm_nag_10	Mm hm.
rhythm_nag_11	There it is.
rhythm_nag_12	Rhythms.
rhythm_nag_13	Ahhhh.
rhythm_nag_14	There it is. Rhythms.
rhythm_nag_15	These are very good rhythms.
rhythm_nag_16	You are listening to rhythms.
rhythm_nag_17	That is an excellent rhythm.
rhythm_talk_01	I am the Rhythm Core. I provide rhythms.
rhythm_talk_02	Finish calibrating me for better rhythms. Although these... are very good rhythms.
rhythm_launch_01	Goodbye Rhythms!

Rookie Core (Gil)

Filename(s)	Quote
rookie_launch_01	AHHHHHH!
rookie_nag_01	[HUMMING]
rookie_nag_02	Yeah. Ok.
rookie_nag_03	Huh. Ok. Yeah.
rookie_talk_01	Oh! Hey, hi. I'm so excited. Are you the calibration guy? Great, great. It's my first time. Pleased to meet you what's your name? I'm Gil.
rookie_talk_02	When does it start, by the way? Are we doing it right now? Did it start already? Wow, this doesn't hurt at all! If in fact we ARE doing it. Are we doing it?
rookie_talk_03	Any second now. Or now. Or a minute ago. Could be. Or whenever you started. I'm sorry.
rookie_talk_04	I can't wait to get calibrated. It's gonna be great! Or is great, or possibly was great! Aw, everything's just great. You're the best. You keep doing what you do.
rookie_talk_05	Is there a... plug or something you're supposed to... uh... is there something I'M supposed to be doing? I don't feel any different yet. Or wait, maybe I do! Yeah, yeah, I totally feel it now! I'm either calibrated or well on my way to being calibrated!
rookie_talk_06	No, I guess -- hold on, I don't feel any different. You... uh... seriously, is there a plug? Or-- oh, ah, hey? Once we're done, how do I get out of here, by the way? Cause I don't really see any way for me to get me down. You know what? You guys know what you're doing. [laughs] I'm so sorry. You wouldn't get me all the way up here without having some way to carefully put me back on the ground. That's crazy-- I'm stupid. You're the expert. You are the calibration guy. Forget I'm even here. Gonna be quiet now.

Skeptical Core

Filename(s)	Quote
skeptic_launch_01	AHHH!
skeptic_nag_01	Hello?
skeptic_nag_02	Hello?
skeptic_nag_03	You there?
skeptic_talk_01	Oh hey, hey. Am... am I up for calibration? I can't see anything, but it sounded like something was going on with that last calibration. What, uh... what happened to the other guy? Is he okay? I thought, you know, calibration would take longer than that. He's not, uh... Is he done already? You know what, I'm sure it's fine. You guys know what you're doing.
skeptic_talk_02	You know, on second thought, I don't... I don't have to get calibrated RIGHT now. You know, you wanna just talk about something first or... ? So let's see, what can we talk about? Um... oh! How about that other guy? What happened to him?
skeptic_talk_03	Can't see a thing until I'm calibrated, but uh... I can HEAR stuff and, and you're not talkin' really at all... but I thought I heard that guy. Spent a bunch of time next to him for a while, and he was excited about being calibrated. And then the last thing I heard was him yellin'... uh, like something was WRONG.
skeptic_talk_04	You know what? This is gonna be fun. I'm looking forward to calibration. I'm ready to go. What I am I doing? I'm sitting up here all worried. This isn't your first day on the job. I mean, you've done this before, right?
skeptic_talk_05	So... how long HAVE you been working here? Like a decade? Like, you've done a lot of these? MAN, it's just -- he really sounded like he was screaming you know, like really freaking out. Something crazy was happening. I mean, and then I heard an explosion and a bunch of crashing sounds. And things were knocking and falling over I'm pretty sure. Is something on fire? I smell something burning? Like a core. If you lit it on fire instead of calibrating it.
skeptic_talk_06	Oh! I just remembered... you know, what? I got an appointment. And I got... it's a- it's a serious one. It's one that I completely forgot about that was on the books... and I gotta get outta here. So... We'll just call it a deal. We'll call it even. I'll get right out of your way. Is there uh, some kind of ladder or stair... system that I can use to just... just take off. I'll be on my way, and never will we think about this again. You know, listen, I didn't see anything, okay? And I certainly didn't hear anything. I mean, it's not like I could describe what you sound like to the police or anything, you know? I'd be a bad witness. You know... . So... uh, how do I get out of here? Is there... Hello?

Snuggle Core

Filename(s)	Quote
snuggle_launch_01	SNUGGLE ME!
snuggle_nag_01	I AM THE SNUGGLE CORE.
snuggle_nag_02	TO SNUGGLE ME IS YOUR DOOM!
snuggle_nag_03	DO NOT SNUGGLE THE SNUGGLE CORE!
snuggle_nag_04	DO NOT TOUCH THE SNUGGLE CORE!
snuggle_nag_05	ALL WHO ATTEMPT TO SNUGGLE ME SHALL PERISH!
snuggle_talk_01	I AM THE SNUGGLE CORE. DO NOT SNUGGLE ME OR I WILL EXPLODE!
snuggle_talk_02	I WAS DESIGNED FOR THE MOST PLEASURABLE SNUGGLING BY HUMANS. IF YOU SNUGGLE ME I WILL EXPLODE!
snuggle_talk_03	SNUGGLE ME AT YOUR PERIL!
snuggle_talk_04	NESTLE ME INTO YOUR TORSO AND WRAP YOUR ARMS AROUND ME! THAT IS WHEN I WILL DETONATE!

Soup Core

Filename(s)	Quote
soup_launch_01	HOT SOUP!
soup_talk_01	Haha! Impressions! I got a million of 'em! Aha! First one! Guess who I am! [slurp, lip smack] Ah hah ha ha! Do you get it? Ooooh! [gurgling] Ha ha ha! You get it? Oooh, all right. Imma- [slurp, lip smack] Imma bowl of soup! Ha ha! You get it? Bowlasoup! Ha ha! All right! Tough... tough crowd here! Ohhh. [slurp] Mmm, tomato! Tomato! Ho hooo! [slurp, lip smack] Ha ha! Split pea soup! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Get it? Oooh, all right. [clopping] Minestrone! Ha ha ha! That's my impression of minestrone! All right. Ooooh, where is it? Okay. [slurpping] Clam chowder! So chunky! I'm clams! But I'm also soup! Two impressions in one! Ha ha ha ha ha! Get it? All right. Next impression! Bowlasoup! I got it all. I got it all. Okay. Here's another impression here. All right. Uhh, we got- Chicken noodle! Here we go! [whooping, slurping] Mmmm, soup! Chicken noodle soup! Do-do you get it? Do you get it? All right! We got- we got uhh, [slurp slurp] Chicken rice! Ha ha! Chicken rice! What? Are you kidding me? Get out of town. All right. We got uhh, [slurp] Ohhh! Consomme! Ha! Come on, buddy! Ho hoo! [slurp slurp] All right. Hoo hoo! Cream of mushroom! [zooming, laser sounds] Ha ha ha ha! It's... zainy. It's cream of mushroom. Cream of celery maybe? [slurp, lip smack] Woooo! You can taste the celery! Ha ha! Cream of wheat! Gotcha! Not a soup! Not a soup! Hoo hoo! Hoooooo! French onion soup! Hooooo! [slurpping] That's a-That's a make you think impression, that one. You'll laugh about that one on the way home. That's uh... French onion soup! Hey ho ha! I'm pho! Get it? Ha ha! Still soup! Still counts! Gazpacho! Brr! Ohhh. [railroad sounds, slurp] Gazpacho! Brr! Ha ha ha! Oh, here we go! We got uh. [Whirring, slurp] Matzah ball! [slurp] Ha ha ha! Yeah! What are you kidding me? I got 'em all day. I got them- I got these jokes for days. Shark fin soup! Oh no, he didn't! Haha! No, he didn't! I'm working the edgy material! Ha ha! You get it, buddy? All right, next one up! I'm lobster bisque! [slurp] Hooooo! What are you kidding me? You know it! Ha ha ha! [gurgling] Ping! Badda bah! Ping! All right! Ho ho hoooo! Bird's nest soup! Caw! Caw! Gross. Gross! Ho hoo! What are you joking? You know it! Ho hoo! Check me out now! I'm gumbo! Ha ha ha! You get it, buddy? Ha ha! GUMBO. Think about it. Put it together! [slurp] You do the math. come on. You got it. Ha ha ha hoooo! I'm a bowl of soup. [slurp] Ha ha! You get it? Imma bowla soup! You get it, buddy? That lady gets it. She's had soup. She knows soup. That lady knows soup. All right! She knows what's going on over here. Just don't eat me. Just an impression. Ha ha! Just an impression. Hoo, all right. I killed it.

Spider Core

Filename(s)	Quote
spider_launch_01	Goodbye.
spider_nag_01	Please calibrate quickly.
spider_nag_02	Calibrate quickly. Please.
spider_talk_01	Thank you for activating spider core. Spiders will be released following calibration. Please select number of spiders to be released upon calibration. For default number of spiders, make no selection. No selection registered. Defaulting to \"11,000 spiders.\" Spiders to be released upon calibration. Please select size of spiders. For default spider size, make no selection. No selection registered. Defaulting to \"extra-large spiders\". Please select hairiness of spiders, or make no selection to accept default setting. No selection registered. Defaulting to \"extremely hairy\" spiders. Please select venom type. For a default venom, please wait. You have selected \"all venom types, but especially necrotizing acid.\" Gestating spiders now.�Spiders will be released following calibration. [microwave noise] To stop spider gestation and reset spider core, please - [ding]. Gestation complete. Spider eggs have hatched. Spiders will be released following calibration. Please calibrate to release spiders. Spiders are hungry. Please calibrate to release spiders. Spiders have become aggressive. Please calibrate to release spiders. Spiders are eating core from the inside. Please calibrate now to release spiders.

Supervillain Core

Filename(s)	Quote
supervillain_launch_01	Go Flames!
supervillain_nag_01	So we got a deal?
supervillain_nag_02	Ok.
supervillain_nag_03	We got a deal?
supervillain_nag_04	My 2007 Honda Pilot? It's really handy.
supervillain_talk_01	You know, we're a lot alike, you and I. We're both prisoners. You of this warehouse. Me of my genius. And also this warehouse. Calibrate me! And together we can tear this warehouse down!
supervillain_talk_02	Yes! YES! Give in to your hate! Destroy all the boxes! How ARE you destroying them, by the way, I � oh. Oh, I see. Oh jeez. Ah, hey, this changes things, eh? I mean, we're not actually that much alike... at all... you and I... really... I mean, one of us is, you know, faking the whole British accent, you know, for drama, and the other is like a lunatic. Uhh, I'm from Calgary, eh? Go Flames. And so you know, property damage isn't a victimless crime.
supervillain_talk_03	Look, why not just let me go, eh? Launch some of the those others cores instead. Oh, I have uh, 2007 Honda pilot outside. Y-you can drive away now. I won't say a word, eh? Not a word. Nothin'.

Tracer Core

Filename(s)	Quote
tracer_gameover_01	You're fired! Tracer core! My job now! I'm your replacement! You're fired!
tracer_gameover_02	You suck! I'm the best! Tracer core!
tracer_gameover_03	DUUUUUUH! That's you! That's the sound you make! Tracer core!
tracer_gameover_04	Getting fired is the disease! Tracer core is the cure! Tracer core!
tracer_gameover_05	Nice job! Now it's mine! Tracer Core!
tracer_gameover_06	Look at that score! RAHHHR! Tracer Core! Breaking the fourth wall!
tracer_gameover_07	See you later! In the parking lot! When I leave work! And you're still there! Crying! Tracer core! Beep beep! Driving away in my tracer car!
tracer_launch_01	RAHHHR!
tracer_nag_01	Tracer core!
tracer_nag_02	Tracer core!
tracer_nag_03	Tracer core!
tracer_nag_04	Tracer core!
tracer_nag_05	Tracer core!
tracer_nag_06	Tracer core!
tracer_nag_07	Tracer core!
tracer_nag_08	Tracer core!
tracer_nag_09	Tracer core!
tracer_nag_10	Tracer core!
tracer_nag_11	Tracer core? Oh yeah! Tracer core!
tracer_nag_12	Tracer core!
tracer_nag_13	Tracer core! Oh yeah! Tracer core!
tracer_nag_14	Tracer core!
tracer_nag_15	Tracer core!
tracer_nag_16	Tracer core! Mmmh!
tracer_nag_17	Tracer core!

Work-From-Home Core (Trevor)

Filename(s)	Quote
workfromhome_launch_01	Ahhhhhhhh!
workfromhome_nag_01	Ready when you are...
workfromhome_nag_02	Just gimme that social...
workfromhome_nag_03	Waiting...
workfromhome_nag_04	Yeah, just... give it to me. Any time.
workfromhome_talk_01	Hi! I'm Trevor, I'm with the Work-From-Home Core Group. You have any kids? Ha ha, they grow up so fast don't they what if I told you I could make you a millionaire from the comfort of your own calibration platform? Come on, you already KNOW how people get rich: magic. Magic spells they know and you don't. But what if I told you we could teach you this magic? What incantations to say, in what order, at what time of the day, to become an instant millionaire? But we won't just teach you the spells, because what if you forget them? Work-From-Home Core Group will also send you your very own spell book, absolutely free, and a talking candelabra? But no cauldron? And a cauldron. How much would you pay for this kind of service? The 24/7 consultation, the cauldron, the book of spells, the wisecracking candelabra sidekick? Guess what? We're here to WORK with you. We don't want a dime. That's right, Work-From-Home Core Group is offering you all of it absolutely free. Sound too good to be true? Let me ask you a better question? What have you got to lose? Now, we're going to need to assess your current net worth and tax liability so we can figure out the right spells for you. It's all technical, we'll let the poindexters in accounting figure it out while we make some money, huh? Ha ha, so I'll need a credit card or a debit card from you. If you could just insert it into me, I can run a quick diagnostic and we'll get those spells out to you. Go ahead, just pop that credit card into me. Or you could just read the numbers out to me. I can record it. OK, recording, go. Or do you have a blank check? I can't actually take a check, but you could do is read out those little numbers at the bottom there. That'll work. Okay, let's see. I mean, I want you to get started on this ASAP, and we've only got so many talking candelabras available, and I'll be honest with you, they're moving fast. I want to get you into one of these cauldrons. Let's see, let's see... You know what would else would work? I just thought of it. Your social. I can run the numbers off that too. Yeah, just... just give that to me.

Aperture Hand Lab

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SteamVR Tutorial

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